Page 18 of Avoiding the Merry Viscount
“That’s an excellent answer,” Grace said, giving her the sweetest grin.
“Do I want to know what this is about?” Lydia asked, glancing at Diana and Jenny again.
They both shook their heads.
“I like you, Lydia,” Grace said.
Lydia was still quite confused but smiled at Grace. “I like you too.”
She did not know what had just occurred, but something about earning young Grace’s approval made her happy, even if she didn’t understand why.
Chapter Six
Elias
Elias did hisbest to offer his father a bit of comfort after following him to his study. Miss Cary had said nothing wrong, and she was surely confused over the situation, which made Elias feel bad for departing without a word. Diana would explain things to her, he hoped.
Papa struggled the worst with Mama’s passing around the holidays. Which only supported Diana’s theory that if she filled the house with love and laughter that it would help them all to get through it.
Once he managed to get his father to speak, the pair reminisced about Mama for a moment, and then Elias lightened the mood by telling his father a few more stories about his antics with Jude.
“You need to open your heart to the idea of love, son,” his father finally said.
“Are you mad? Do you see the pain that you still suffer even all these years later? Why would I risk that pain on myself, or worse, on someone that I would love and care about if something should happen to me?”
Tears formed in his father’s eyes again. “Son, as saddened as I am to continue on without your mother, I have never wished for a second to have not had her for the time that I did. I would choose our life together even if I had known how things would end.”
“But now I know better, Father. If I don’t allow it in, I don’t haveto risk such a fate.”
“You will marry sooner or later. I know you believe in your duty to the title and our family,” his father said.
“Father, I know it’s been a while for you, but love isn’t required to marry and sire an heir. And I believe, based on the many stories I have recounted to you, that you are already well aware that I am more than capable of doing the needful activities.”
His father’s face hardened. “Don’t be so crass about such things, Elias. I promise you that you will cheat yourself out of the life you deserve if you take that approach to marriage. There is nothing like looking into the face of your children and seeing the woman you love in them. Knowing that a piece of them will continue to live on for generations and generations. It’s a much stronger feeling and sense of pride than carrying on these blasted titles.”
“I don’t think I can,” Elias said, his chest rising and falling from where his breathing rate increased, and attempted to push aside what his father said. Especially how it made him question his resolve. “I just don’t think I can let myself love someone, Father.”
“You already have, son. You loved your dear mama, and you love me. And you love your sisters,” his father said, then grinned at him. “Most of the time. You are capable of love, son. I’m not asking you to go out and force yourself to fall in love with the first woman you see, but I am asking you to be open to it.”
Elias contemplated what his father said. He still had his doubts, and the whole notion of it didn’t sound all that appealing. The fear of pain was still far too great.
“And about what you are doing with all of those women of the night, Elias. You take risks, to your health and to your future, in continuing down that path. It’s one thing to sow your wild oats, but that time must eventually come to an end. And one day you’re going to understand the difference between what you are doing with those nameless women and the love with the one woman you give yourheart to.”
For the first time in his life, Elias felt slightly embarrassed over his behavior. Something he’d never experienced before, given that he always saw it as something to brag about to the other gentlemen. But something about his father’s words had him questioning everything he thought he enjoyed about his life and what he wanted for his future. And Elias couldn’t stop himself from wondering what his mother might think of his actions.
He still wasn’t convinced he wanted love or that love would have a place in his marriage, when he pursued one, but perhaps it was time that he gave what he wanted for his future a bit more thought.
His father clasped his shoulder. “I think we should rejoin the party before your sister comes looking for us.”
Elias pushed aside his thoughts and grinned at his father. “We won’t get a moment’s rest until after Christmas.”
“In that, I believe you are correct.” His father laughed, and then caught Elias’s attention again. “That reminds me, son. Did you need anything from the attic? I have the servants going through some of your mother’s things for Diana.”
“I don’t believe so.”
“Very well,” his father replied. “Let me know if you think of something.”
They departed his father’s study and returned to find that the guests had gathered outside, dressed in their great coats and winter coverings. Elias and the elder Lord Snowdon donned their warm coats and joined the others out in the snow.
