Page 50 of Bride of Betrayal
A red mist of pain came over Leo’s vision. ‘It’s precisely why I can’t have what they never experienced.’
‘Just because you survived, it doesn’t mean that you have to forgo love and happiness in your own life. I know you don’t love me, but some day you might meet someone and you deserve to be happy, Leo, you’re a good man and you’ve created something worth sharing. It can be very lonely closing yourself off. I did it for three years to survive that marriage and it almost killed me.’
Leo couldn’t think straight. He felt a multitude of things all at once. Panic. ‘What will you do? Where will you go?’
Angelica looked resigned. Sad. He had done that to her. He’d also made her laugh and sigh and moan and—
‘I’ll go to Madrid. I think I’ll buy a place there, to be near Mama and Paolo. Then I’ll continue working while getting the charity up and running, and then, hopefully some day soon, retire from modelling and work full time on that.’
‘And what about the rest of your life?’ Leo wondered why he was asking her this. He had no right. He should let her go.
She hitched up her chin. ‘I want love, Leo. And I want a family. I want to bring up kids in an environment where they won’t feel threatened. Of course there’s no guarantee of peace and safety anywhere but some places are better than others. I want to be happy. Fulfilled.’
Those sentiments hit Leo hard. He thought of how it had affected him to see happy families—abject fear. ‘You will be. You’ll be an amazing mother and wife. And philanthropist. You’ll change lives. You deserve to be happy, Angel.’ Again, the words were like ash, souring his tongue.
‘Thank you. I have something for you.’
She came towards him and held out a chain. It took him a second to register what was on it. A Murano glass heart, green, gold and orange, and her engagement ring and wedding ring.
He held out his palm and she dropped them into it. His head was full of the memory of her spotting that little glass heart in the window of a shop three years ago and how he’d immediately wanted to give it to her, so he’d gone in and bought it.
‘I can’t believe you still have it.’
‘I kept it. But it’s yours. And the rings are yours too. I donated the one Aldo gave me to charity, maybe you can do the same with these.’
Angelica had gone over to pick up her case and was walking to the door of the apartment before Leo came out of the past. He turned around. He felt as if he were under water, or watching her through glass. He wasn’t even sure if she’d hear him if he called her name.
She stopped at the door and then, as if deciding not to say anything, she opened it and then she was gone. She didn’t even look back.
Much like the day when she’d walked out that first time, he had an instinct to run after her. But how could he when he couldn’t give her what she wanted?
Leo stood there for a long moment, with the necklace and rings in his hand. He looked at them stupidly. The heart seemed to glow, as if to mock him.You have no heart.No. It stopped beating the day his family lost their lives.
But he could feel it now, thumping heavily. As heavy as the stone in his gut. And the boulder in his chest. He felt very tired all of a sudden, as if he’d been trying to roll a ball up a hill for ever and it had just rolled down again, flattening him in the process. What was the name of that Greek king? Sisyphus?
Without really thinking, Leo went over to where Angelica had been standing at the window and looked out, and down. There was a water-taxi, and the driver was helping her in. She was wearing sunglasses and facing forward but he knew she was crying.
He’d made her cry. More than once. He’d also unwittingly fed her to Aldo, who had been so jealous of anything Leo loved that he’d wanted her for himself.
Leo’s hand closed over the necklace and rings as that word resounded in his head.Love. Loved. Love.
Things were falling into place now, like pieces of a jigsaw. How out of it he’d been after Angelica had left—after you rejected her. How easy it had been for Aldo to take advantage of Leo’s distraction.
Because Aldo had seen what not even Leo had seen. That he’d fallen in love with Angelica.
Of course he had. She’d turned his life upside down and inside out and he hadn’t been able to handle it. So he’d rejected her rather than face the fact that he was a coward and too scared to seize love when it was gifted to him.
He looked down again to see the water-taxi pulling away from the landing pier, joining the traffic of the other water-taxis, boats and gondolas on the busy canal.
And suddenly, Leo knew that Angelica was right. About everything. What had she said?I know you don’t love me.He’d fallen in love with her the moment he’d laid eyes on her.
He stuffed the necklace and rings in his pocket and ran.
Angelica couldn’t even hide her sobs. She wondered how many women this water-taxi had ferried up the canal, sobbing noisily in the back, tears streaming under their black shades. The driver was ignoring her anyway, so presumably it wasn’t that uncommon.
She was standing in the back of the boat, hanging onto the railing, calling herself all kinds of a fool for letting herself be hurt by the same man twice.
It took Angelica a minute to hear it over her crying and the engine and the general noises on the canal but then she heard, ‘Angel! Stop!’
