Page 38 of Not In The Christmas Plan
I frown when I look at the phone, still seeing a black screen. “Did it not work? I can’t see you.”
I hear Ivy sigh before her face comes into view, right before my heart drops.
Chapter sixteen
“Sissy?” I say.
Ivy looks haggard in a way I haven’t seen her since we lost Dad. Just tired and drawn, eyes swollen and nose red from crying.
My stomach cramps as my mind immediately assumes the worst. “What’s wrong? Are Nia and Amani okay?”
“They’re okay,” she rasps, her voice raw. Then, fresh tears start rolling down her face. “Amani’s still not stable enough to go home. She’s getting better, but she just can’t regulate her temperature. I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” she whispers.
All the research I did before seems to vanish and a hundred questions fly through my mind. Is it normal for babies to take this long to regulate their body temperature? What exactly are they doing to help Amani? Does this mean Nia is in the clear? Do I need to step in and talk to the nurses? The hospital director?
But going off my sister’s vibe, now isn’t the time to pepper her with questions. She needs encouragement.
I square my shoulders and inject as much confidence into my voice as I can. “Amani is strong. She’s got Matthews’ blood flowing through her. She’ll be released and y’all will be home for Christmas. You’ll see.” And because what I really want is to see her in person, I add, “You know, I can come up there and help. The nursery is finished, and I’m almost done going through our old things. Just say the word and I’ll be by your side in an instant.”
Grant would probably insist on coming with me. I don’t know what I’d love to see more; my nieces and Ivy, or the look on Ivy’s face if Grant and I showed up together and quite a bit more friendly than what she’s used to.
“No,” she says, jolting me with her voice gone flat and distant. “I don’t… I just don’t need you here right now.”
“You don’t need me?” I ask slowly for confirmation that she just said what I think she just said.
She sighs. “Look, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”
She ends the call before I can get another word in, and I’m left staring at a black screen.
What just happened?Is she mad at me? Did I say the wrong thing? And what was that about her not needing me there?
“You okay?” Grant’s voice is soft but I jump anyway.
I didn’t know he was behind me and don’t know how much he heard.
“I’mokay,” I lie. “Ivy though, I’m not sure what’s up with her…” I stare at the phone in my hand, ready to call her back up. If there’s something wrong, I need to fix it.
“She seemed pretty upset.”
“You can say that again.”
Her words still echo.I just don’t need you here.
I shove my phone in my pocket and sigh. “You know what? It’s fine. She’s fine. She’s worried about Amani, but she’ll feel better when everyone’s home.” I don’t know if I’m trying to convince Grant or myself.
“Right,” Grant says after a beat too long. But thewayhe says it, hesitant and unsure, makes my hackles rise.
“What’s with that tone?”
He shakes his head and avoids my gaze.
“You’ve never been afraid to speak your mind around me. Don’t be shy now,” I urge. Maybe my tone is a little confrontational, but I’m still reeling from my disastrous talk with Ivy. I don’t know what I did wrong, and now Grant wants to act funny.
He lifts one shoulder. “Maybe Ivy was looking for you to just listen. With everything going on, she probably wanted to vent. Not have you offer solutions or platitudes, or act like everything will magically be okay because ‘Christmas’.”
“Because Christmas,” I repeat, unbelieving.
It’s not what he says, but what I know he means. That all the energy I’ve poured into making this holiday perfect means nothing. That Ivy doesn’t need the Christmas tree, the lights, or the cookies. Or, for that matter, me.
