Page 43 of Not In The Christmas Plan
“You’re looking at Amani. And this is Nia.”
My gaze lingers on sweet sleeping Amani.She’s swaddled in a pink blanket with a knitted red and white cap on, so all I see is her angelic face. Her complexion is a light golden brown a few shades lighter than both Ivy and Braxton, making me wonder when her melanin will bloom. And her lips are the perfect bow shape.
“You can pick her up,” Ivy encourages.
I hesitate, not wanting to wake her, but ultimately my need to finally hold her wins out. I gently scoop her from the crib and position her carefully in my arms. She doesn’t so much as stir.
“Ivy, you made a whole baby,” I whisper, looking down at my perfect niece, marveling at how light and warm she feels in my arms.
“Well, I had some help.”
I glance up to find the smirk I heard in Ivy’s voice.
“And, I think you mean I madetwowhole babies,” she corrects.
“Do you think Nia told her little sister to get better so y’all could come home?”
There’s the sound of rustling clothes before Ivy comes to stand beside me. “If she’s anything likemybig sister, she was rallying her and encouraging her the whole time.”
We face each other. Twins holding twins. This is all I wanted, yet my heart in no way feels whole. There are too many missing pieces.
“Dad would have loved seeing us like this,” Ivy says on a sigh. “And he would have made a great grandpa.”
No surprise that our thoughts, as always, align.
“He would have,” I say.
We don’t need to say more. Our grief is the same, but so are our memories of him. I know that beneath Ivy’s ache flows the same deep current of love, laughter, and joy that shaped me into the woman I am today. This Christmas hurts without him here, but his love still lingers, wrapping around us like a quiet blessing.
After a while, Amani wakes to be fed then both babies are sleeping again. Ivy and I stand at the window, gazing into the kind of quiet only felt the night before Christmas.
“Braxton’s parents are coming tomorrow,” Ivy tells me. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not. They’re your family and this is your house now, remember?”
“I know I live here now, but this will always be your home too. You have just as much history here as me.” Identical eyes lock on mine. “I swear this year tried to do me in. Losing Dad, getting pregnant right after the wedding, moving while pregnant. And you’ve been right here through it all, keeping me sane and encouraged.” She frowns. “I can’t help but wonder if maybe I leaned on you too much.”
“Ivy, I’m your big sister. Being here for you to lean on is my job.”
“You’re eight minutes older and a quarter of an inch taller. When will you let it go?”
“When you magically become taller and older than me.” I give her a look that saysduh,and her eyes promise retribution.
“What I’m trying to say is that it goes both ways. You don’t have to carry everything on your own. You’ve got family to lean on, and a home open to you whenever you need it. Always.” She heaves a heavy sigh. “For the record, even though you’re barely older than me—I will always need my big sister around.”
I lay my head on her shoulder, careful not to jostle either of the babies.
Ivy hums a sweet tune to fill the silence.
“Braxton spoke to Grant while we were driving home,” she says after a while. “Apparently, he’s back in San Antonio and is going to try and catch a last-minute flight to see Destiny tomorrow instead of coming to meet themost beautiful babies in the world. Is there something you need to tell me?”
This should be the part where I spill everything—that holding everything together has felt impossible at times, while other times the fear of losing more people I love threatens to crush me. And despite it all, Grant somehow slipped under my defenses, filled the cracks and made me whole.
But the words lodge in my throat. So, knowing she’s going to kill me later, I shake my head. “Not yet.”
Car headlights blend with Christmas lights as Ms. Thomas pulls into her driveway. She gets out of the car with an armful of shopping bags likely from the Christmas Market.
“I can’t believe her and Dad had a secret romance,” Ivy says, then softer, “I’m glad he had her.”
