Page 39 of Light Up The Night
"Exaggeration for effect," she explains.
"I'm sure I’ll have questions later, but I think I get the overall situation," I tell her. "I'm glad you shared that with me, Cadence. Thank you."
She shrugs, smiles, and gives a little bow at the waist. "And that concludes my TED talk."
This gets a laugh from me. "See? Youdohave a sense of humor!"
"Occasionally," she murmurs. She searches my face, then. "Riley, after all that, has your opinion of me…changed?"
"If anything, I'm even more amazed by you than ever. It's gotta be tough, dealing with all that shit, day in and day out. Dealin' with assholes not understanding you and not even trying to. Feeling like…I dunno. Like things are going on in the world that you don't see or understand."
She swallows hard, nodding. "It is challenging, certainly. It is my lot in life—I cannot change it, even if I wished to."
"Do you? Want to…be different?”
She looks away. "At times, yes. Who does not, though? When the world is too much and I cannot breathe and my mind is flying a thousand miles per hour along a dozen different lines of thought at once, yes, I have wished I could just…silence my mind. Not be…this way. Even for a few minutes. But when I am working?Thatis when I truly come alive, Riley. When I enter an Emergency Room or a triage tent, something in me shifts. I become…almost a different person. My mind quiets. I am aware of nothing except the patient, assessing the problem, coming up with a solution, and ascertaining the swiftest and most effective means to that end. When I am in that world, I am in control."
"So what exactly is it you do? As a doctor. I mean, you've mentioned the ER, so is that your, what is it—specialty? Your area of focus?"
She nods. "Yes. I specialize in emergency medicine. I excel in high-pressure, chaotic situations."
"So when shit hits the fan, you're the lady to call."
"For medical attention, yes." She appears to be chewing on something, mentally. Considering what to ask, or whether to ask it. "You…you do not think I am…" she drops her voice to a whisper. "A freak?"
My heart cracks. "Ahhh, fuck, Cadence." I reach for her, tug her toward me. She resists at first, but gradually allows me to bring her close enough that I can cup her cheek. I hold her eyes—something I've noticed she has a hard time with; after a moment, her gaze drifts away, dropping to my lips. "No."
"But Iamweird. You said so yourself."
"Yeah, but babe, we're all weird."
"I have a monopoly on it, however."
Fuck, I want to kiss her. "So what? Makes you the most fascinating person I've ever met. I like your brand of weird a whole fuckin' lot." I frame her face in both hands, holding her attention even if her eyes won't stay on mine—that doesn’t bother me. "You arenota freak. And if anyone ever calls you that again, you tell me, and I’ll kick their fuckin' teeth in."
She frowns. "Absolutely not, Riley. Violence only begets violence and rarely solves problems, but rather engenders more." She swallows hard, her eyes darting this way and that over my features, stopping again and again at my lips. "Riley, I…I….”
"What, honey? Whatever it is, say it."
"You frighten me."
Gut punch, acid in my veins, cold water on my desire. "I know I'm rough around the edges, to say the fuckin' least, and I know I’m an ignorant, uneducated dumbfuck, especially compared to you. But I…Cadence, you gotta know I'd never hurt you."
"No!" She exclaims, as if shocked by what I said. "No, no, no. That is notat allwhat I meant." Her eyes close, as if it's easier tosay some things without feeling my eyes on hers. "Emotions are difficult for me. Touch is difficult for me—for the same reason certain textures and sensations make me uncomfortable. My emotions are…chaotic, powerful, and confusing. I cannot control them. so I…I tend to ignore them. Block them off. Bury them. But with you, I…I cannot. And that frightens me. It frightens me greatly. Because I simply do not know what to do with how I feel." She presses her hand to the center of my chest, and I swear to god my fuckin' heart stops beating for a split second. "You are not ignorant. You are not dumb. You have had a different life experience than I have. You have not been exposed to the things I have. We could not be more different, you and I, but…" she drops her voice to a whisper. "You arenotdumb."
Fucking eyes, man. Burning. "I didn't even graduate high school, Cadence."
There. That part is out in the open. It's a hard thing to admit to a girl you like, especially one who can speak a dozen languages, including fuckingLatin, and went to goddamnHarvard, that you don't even have your fucking high school diploma.Ora GED. Or that even in high school, I was barely keeping my grades up enough to stay on the football team, and that was with a tutor and studying my dumbfuck ass off for twice as long as Fee, Cole, and Nyx did. Shit just didn’t stay in my head. Letters swim around. Every little thing distracts me.
"But yet, even with that fact, Riley, you are successful and well-regarded."
I snort. “Successful. Okay, sure. I break shit for a living."
"You own the business, do you not?" she asks.
I shrug. "Sure—well, sort of. Our company is weirdly structured. Fee owns Crowe Construction, and I own Crowe Demolitions, and they're sort of separate entities, but then we co-own the umbrella corporation-thing, Crowe Construction, Demolitions, and Fine Homes." I grumble wordlessly. "I wasagainst adding that third part, but Fee insisted, so what the-fuck-ever. It's a mouthful, but it works, I guess."
"So you own a business. That business has consistent clientele?"
