Page 19 of Property of Raider
“Alright, Rushy, let’s get this over with.”I wave a hand in the air.
“Okay, okay, first question—do I look more like my dad or like mom?”He holds a hand up.“I want your honest opinion.”
I give him a little, unable to come to the terms that he looks exactly like his father at fifteen.“You have his eyes.He had the same one blue and one hazel eye.”
His eyes light up with this information.“That explains why some do double takes when they see me.Question number two, did he and Shea love each other?”
Of all the questions he could have asked or wanted to know, he had to choose the one that I cannot answer.I truly do not know if they loved each other, if it was a one-time thing or, hell, if one took advantage of the other.All I know is that when Shea showed up pregnant and scared because she wasn’t safe, I packed without question and left with her.How do I tell this child that on the day he was born, and I learned the truth, something cracked so deep in my soul that I nearly walked away from him and my sister?
“Rushy, I cannot answer that as I do not have the answer.What I can tell you is that I and your Auntie Lynn have loved you since before your first breath.Hopefully, one day we will be able to find out the answers you're looking for.”
His shoulders slump with pure disappointment.“I know, Ma.I just wish I had some answers.Don’t get me wrong, I love you, and you’re my mom in all the ways that truly matter.I-I-I,” he throws his hands up in pure frustration, spinning away from me.“I just need to know why.Why did Shea not stay and take care of me?Why didn’t he come looking for me?If they didn’t want me, why didn’t they make sure that I wasn’t possible?So there wasn’t a chance to have a damn kid.”
I ignore his cussing right now because he needs to let some of the emotions that’s been building loose some steam.
“Rushy, I’m sorry that I cannot give you the answers you want or need.I truly hope that one day you will get the answer.For today, what I can answer is that I love you and will show up all day every day for you.”I tell him.
His shoulders fall, and he hangs his head.“Thank you, Ma.I love you.”
Standing up, I go over to him and pull him into a hug.“I love you too, Rushy.”
“I’m going to shower and head to bed,” he whispers before turning away from me, trying to hide the tears on his face.
Sitting heavily back on the couch, I sigh.How does this keep happening?Every time I feel like I’m getting things under control and manageable, the universe steps in and yells,sike bitch!I try to calm the climbing anxiety and finally head for bed, praying as I go that tomorrow is going to be a better day.
For the next two weeks, things are quiet.School has fully started, travel ball is in full swing, construction has started at the house, I’ve started my part-time job at Petty Cleaning Services, and Auntie Lynn seems to get better and better.Every day I go into work, I fight the small flare of excitement that I might run into Watson.Then I beat myself up when I’m disappointed he isn’t there.
Erin Rose has been absolutely amazing, reminding me so much of Auntie Lynn that work is always fun.One day when we were going through the invoices and just chatting, she filled me in on the fact that Petty Cleaning, Tender Touch Butcher & Slaughter, the Chrome Chalice, and Gold Wings Construction was all owned and operated by Kings of Anarchy Motorcycle Club so I may see club members in and out.At first, when she told me about this, it gave me pause.Do I really want to not only work for a company associated with a motorcycle club, but—more importantly—can I trust them to be in and around our home?That evening, I got home nervous and ready to tell Auntie Lynn there was no way that we could let them do the work on the house.
She looked at me as if I had two heads before letting out a full-blown belly laugh.“Dear, who do you think all those young yummy men in leather and on motorcycles were?That club has looked out for me since the day it moved to town.Their original president needed somewhere to store some things.I had land, and he was hot, so I allowed it.Since then, they have always taken care of me and the land.They still use it from time to time.”
I don’t have words for her admission.“Auntie Lynn, are you telling me you’ve been hanging out with criminals all this time?”
The way her eyes fill with steel as she levels it at me, shocks me.“You will not speak of things you do not know.Do not judge that which you do not understand.”She shuffles around the counter, squeezing my hand.“Know this, if anything were to happen and you need someone, they will come.The Kings will always go where they are needed.”
I don’t know what to say to her or how to respond, so I just nod and squeeze her hand.As I turn back to the dishes in the sink, my mind begins to wander.While I load the dishwasher, I don’t stop the runaway thoughts, instead I let them carry me back to a time when fear and heartbreak didn’t sit so heavily on my shoulders, to when I still believed in the future and give myself the grace to dream.With the dishes done, the runaway thoughts are pulled back and shoved into their box as I shut the house down and head for bed.
Chapter Six
Raider
Sitting in the corner of the club, I watch as my brothers enjoy a night off.We’ve all been busting our asses between the businesses and digging further into the sex trafficking ring.They need a night to blow off some steam and just relax.I watch as several of the club bunnies strut around the room in nothing more than their imagination.Terro is sitting beside me looking at something on his phone.
I swirl the scotch in my glass as I look over my shoulder when raised voices catch my attention.Watching with amusement as Rhino charges around the pool table towards Blender, who is leaning against the wall twisting a throwing star between his fingers, as always looking bored with us all.Mercy is sitting to his right, with Ansley on his lap, with his hand wrapped around her throat, watching the show with a small smirk.A pang of something I cannot acknowledge slams against my ribs.I throw back the last of my scotch just as a shadow falls over me.
“You’re looking awfully lonely, Prez,” Ivy, one of our club bunnies, croons seductively.
I turn to look at her leaning back on the couch, spreading my legs wide as I take the glass she holds in her hand.“And you think you are the one to fucking change that?”
Ivy falls to her knees, leaning in a way that gives me a direct view of her overdone tits.She runs her hands up my thighs to grip the top of my jeans where she runs her fingers along my stomach.When she looks up at me through her long lashes, I cock an eyebrow, taking a sip of my drink.Ivy runs her hands to the button of my jeans at the same time she leans forward, placing a kiss just above the waistband.
Laying my head back on the couch, I work to clear my head and enjoy getting my cock sucked.She continues kissing along my waistband, teasing me.Fucking done with her shit, I fist the hair on the back of her head, pulling her back so that she can see my face.
“Quiet fucking playing.You will either suck it or fuck off,” I demand, pulling harder on her hair, so she gasps in surprise.
I let her hair go, lift my hips allowing her the space to pull my jeans down releasing my hard cock.Ivy wraps her hand around the base, taking the tip into her mouth like the pro she fucking is.Reaching out, I take hold of her hair once again, holding her in place at the same to I thrust my cock into the back of her throat.Ivy drops her jaw open, allowing my cock to slide further to the back of her throat.I keep control of her movements, using my free hand to wipe away the tears running down her cheek.
“Shit, look at you.That edge of fear laced with pleasure,” I growl low.
