Page 47 of Property of Raider
Sitting on the bathroom sink, I just stare at the door, completely stunned by the change of events.One second, he was sweet, caring, and every bit the Watson I’d always known him to be and, in a blink, he was Raider, the motorcycle club president.I sigh, sliding off the counter, being sure to put all my weight on my non-injured leg, looking between the tub and the door to the room.He said I had about thirty minutes before anyone comes to check on me, so maybe a nap would be what’s best.Limping through the bathroom door, I finally get to the bed, sitting on the edge.
I take a second to catch my breath before I work on taking my boots, socks, and pants off.By the time I’ve gotten all that done, my head is spinning and I’m too fucking tired to do anything else.I lay back on the bed, telling myself I’ll only lie here long enough to let the spinning stop and to catch my breath.It’s not long before I slide into a deep, restful sleep for the first time in way too long.
A knock on the door jerks me awake.I look around, panic washing over me when I don’t recognize anything around me.As the memories come back to me, so do the tears.I curl in on myself, working to avoid my injury and let the sobs rack my body.I lay there alone, as I have been my entire life, finally letting it all go.
I sob for my dreams lost.
I sob because Rusher will never have the family he deserves.
I sob for the loss of Auntie Lynn.
I sob because everything I thought I knew and had under control is no longer true.
I’m so lost in my self-pity that I don’t hear the door open or footsteps come across the floor.It isn’t until the bed dips behind me that I even know I’m no longer alone.A soft hand wipes the hair stuck to my face by my tears.I look up at the woman in front of me, eyes filled with so much compassion and understanding that I shatter all over again.She doesn’t say anything but pulls my head so it’s lying in her lap.Ainsley sits there, just running her fingers through my knotted and matted hair.She gives me the space to break while silently letting me know I am not alone, which only causes the sobs to worsen.Sitting up, I pull away from her.The sobs are gone, but the tears are still falling.
“Are you ready?”Her question is soft, unhurried.
Tilting my head to the side, I don’t say anything for a long moment.“Ready for what exactly?”
She lets her eyes roam over me.“Well, love, you’ve been asleep for about six hours.I know when Raider stopped to see me on his way out last night he said you were taking a bath and to give you thirty minutes.When I stopped by after thirty minutes, you were out cold.So, I left and let you sleep, checking on you every so often.Now though, I highly recommend a shower or bath because girly roses really smell like pooo …” she ends singing the last part as if she's a member ofOutkastsingingSorry Ms.Jackson.
With tears still running down my face, I throw my head back laughing.
“Wow,” Ainsley says, her voice full of awe.“You truly are beautiful.”
I blush at her words, shaking my head.“Thank you.Can you help me get to the bathroom and into the tub?”
“Absolutely, let's get you all cleaned up, then Charlie will bring us some breakfast and we can chat.Us Ol’ Ladies have got to stick together.”
“I’m sorry, did you just call me an old lady?”I ask in mock horror.“I know it’s been a rough week, but I didn’t think it had been that rough.”
Ainsley’s eyes go wide, and her mouth falls open.I burst out laughing at her face.“I’m just kidding, but we will definitely have to talk about what that means after my bath.”
She smacks my leg.“You're going to be a handful, and I can’t wait to watch you bring Raider to his knees.”She stands holding her hands out.“For now though, let's get you squeaky clean and then Charlie and I will tell you whatever you want to know about the men of King of Anarchy.”
I take her hands, making my way to my feet, testing my bad leg to see if I could put pressure on it.The injury pulls, causing my leg to give out.Ainsley catches me by the arm, making sure I don’t fall.We slowly make our way into the bathroom where she leaves me leaning on the bathroom counter so she can start the water in the tub.
“Alrighty, I’m going to help you into the bath, and while you’re relaxing, I’ll grab you some clothes and see if Hermes has your phone ready.Then I’ll come back and wash your hair for you so we can make sure you don’t get your leg wet.Don’t worry, Remedy left us with everything we will need to doctor and bandage it if you do.”
“Wow, you all really have it all together,” I comment as I strip off my clothes
Ainsley chuckles under her breath.“Not even in the slightest, but the guys make sure the women are all taken care of and have what we need.”
A nod is all I have to give her because outside of Auntie Lynn, I’ve never had anyone take care of anything.It was always just Rusher and me picking up and moving at the drop of a hat when Shea would show up wild and distraught, starting over in a new town and new place, finding a new job, and pinching pennies.I am too scared to believe the people here are going to be anything for us.Raider will tire of me, and then I’ll be alone and jobless with nowhere to go.Oh shit, my job.
“Oh fuck, I need to call Erin Rose at Petty Cleaning.I don’t even know how long I’ve been gone.I was supposed to be working,” I gasp, panic rising in my chest.
Ainsley looks up at me, eyes wide.“It’s been you the whole time!Oh my god, Charlie is going to eat this shit up.”
“What in the world are you talking about?”I’m finally undressed and hobbling to the tub.Ainsley helps me climb in and get seated with my leg propped on the side of the tub.
“Alright, you soak.I’ll be back in a bit to finish up and with all the goods.”
I watch her retreat, closing the door behind her as she goes.I lay my head back on the side of the tub, closing my eyes and trying to relax.The water is hot and soaking into my sore muscles, helping to pull the tension out a little at a time.Lying there, I slowly unpack the feeling now that it's not all so raw and overwhelming.
Auntie Lynn is gone.I will never hear her laugh and words of nonsense that somehow always end up being words of wisdom.The knowledge that at any moment Shea could get her hands on Rusher, snatching him away to parts unknown.The knowledge that I have no fucking idea what happened with her and Raider.Worst of all is trying to figure out if I can trust and believe what he is saying and doing.Who is lying?Is it Shea lying about him not wanting her or the baby, so she was in danger, or is it Raider knew nothing at all about Rusher and is truly shocked by him?
The tears start again, running completely unchecked, and I don’t even try to stop them.I let myself feel the emotions and try my best to process things so that when I get out of this tub, I can hold my head high and start dealing with things.If there is one thing I will not do, it is let the assholes win.I’m done letting Shea run my life and rule the world like she doesn’t have consequences.
