Page 101 of The Shell Collector
“You’re always safe with me.” He leaned and kissed her, and she kissed him back. There was nothing in her heart or mind but that very moment.
She traced her finger across his chest, then laid her cheek against it. His heartbeat was strong. Comforting.
He wrapped his arms around her and brought them both back to standing. They stood that way, face to face, arms around each other.
Then he leaned close and kissed her again. On the forehead.
Something clicked inside her. She pushed away and stepped back, plopping down into his desk chair. “Paul, this is moving so fast.”
“It might seem like that, but, Amanda, I’ve always loved you.”
She shook her head. “You said that. I love having you back in my life, but this is hard for me to wrap my head around. I’ve got two kids.” She got up and walked to the window. “And you have all this. You’re building new locations, and you have so much responsibility. Paul, you don’t have to stretch your time thin for me. I’m doing okay.”
“Amanda, this isn’t some kind of guilt mission. My feelings for you are genuine. How can I prove that?”
She turned to him. “There’s more than just my heart at stake here. Hailey and Jesse are finally getting their feet beneath them. What if you wake up and realize it’s a mistake?”
“I won’t.”
“How do you know? What if it’s too much? A family is a lot of work. You’ve got all those meetings set up across the country, and this work…it’s important. Meaningful.”
“Okay, I don’t have any firsthand experience, but I was there with you and Jack. I remember how that was. I’ll make the family work. I want that with you…more than anything.”
“When I meet Jack in heaven, what will he think? I loved him. One hundred percent loved him. I don’t want to take anything from that.”
“Me neither.” Paul dropped his head. “I wish you’d trust me. Tell me what to do. I’ll do it.”
“I need time. I need to know that if we need you, you’ll be there. That we’d be the priority.”
“We’ll slow down.” He brushed a tear from her cheek. “Oh, Amanda, I never want to be the reason for your tears. Never.”
Amanda’s chest tightened. “You don’t understand. I promised myself I’d find a way to take care of us. I already messed up once.”
“Messed up? What do you mean?”
“My plan had been to start the salt business. You know about that.”
“So why didn’t you?”
“I thought I’d do it from the house, but apparently you can’t if a dog is on the property. Not even if you keep him completely out of the kitchen. I should’ve made sure before I pulled the trigger on the house.”
“No. Then I’d have bought that house and we might never have found each other again.”
He was right. “So many little things, all connected. One change and it all tumbles.”
“Or it all comes together,” Paul said. “I can set you up with space here. Heck, in every Paws Town Square location if you want it. Problem solved.”
“No, Jack, it’s not, becauseyousolved it, not me.”
He flinched, then stood there with a somber look on his face.
“Paul? What’s wrong?”
His jaw pulsed. “You called me Jack.”
She sucked in a breath. “I’m sorry.” She turned away from him.How could I have done that? Why?“Would you please take me home?”
She couldn’t even look at him the whole ride home. She’d been so worried that he was with her because of misplaced guilt, and maybe he never was the problem. Was she the one with misplaced feelings?Am I trying to recreate the past with Jack through Paul?
