Page 104 of The Shell Collector
Maeve’s voice softened. “Don’t be too hard on Paul. He wants to be there for you for the right reasons.”
“And if it turns out to be guilt?”
Maeve sputtered, “That man has enough money to give you a big fat check if that’s all it is. Trust me, you don’t go to the lengths that man has gone to for anything but love. His motives are genuine. Now, I don’t know if that means you’ll marry and live happily ever after, but I believe you two will be best friends again. The rest will fall into place. He’s giving you his time, and together you’re sharing the beauty in each day. You’re breathing new joy in each other’s lives.”
“You think I should quit worrying.”
“Which advice do you want? A good ol’ island song?” Maeve sang in an island brogue, “ ‘Don’t worry, be happy now.’ ” With a laugh she added, “Or John 14:27—‘Peace I leave with you’? You know all the things I’ve shared. None of it is news. Why are you so afraid?”
“I don’t think I could live through that kind of loss again.”
“You’ll drown in your own fear. It’ll suck you down like a riptide and tear you apart if you let it. You can’t live a joyful life if you’re paralyzed by fear.”
Amanda nodded.
“We might be an unlikely pair to anyone looking at us, but we’ve kind of rescued each other.” Maeve’s eyes glistened.
“You’ve definitely rescued me,” Amanda said. “There are days when I stand at the waterline where the tide is bringing in the waves and lift my hands in front of me. It’s like Jack is right there with me on our wedding day. I remember being there and the water almost getting to our feet with each wave. Jack held me so I didn’t topple over and get wet. He had strong hands. I always felt so safe with him.”
“There’s a stillness in the house without your husband there,” Maeve said.
“Yes. Some nights the kids are snuggled under their blankets, unaware of the weight of the world that I’m trying to carry for them, but I have to do it.”
“You don’t have to do it alone, though. Let Paul help. And, Amanda, let your parents in. Even if you have to board Denali and go to them, you do it.”
“I hear you. I do. But, Maeve, you don’t have to leave Whelk’s Island. I feel closer to you than I do to my own mother. I can take care of you.”
“No. No ma’am. I want you to take care of you and your children and Paul. And Tug. Watch over that old fool for me.”
“Maeve—”
“This isn’t negotiable. I promised my baby sister I’d do this. I owe it to her. She’ll worry herself to death if I don’t. A promise is a promise, and it’s time. We made the plan long ago with cool heads. It’s the right thing to do. I’m not afraid.”
Amanda could barely take in a real breath. “No. It can’t be your time.” She sucked in another gulp. “You’re healthier than half the people under fifty around here.”
“I’m tired.” Maeve smiled, her teeth showing and her nose wrinkling as she lowered her lashes. “The trumpets will sound and there will be light, and no pain, and my Jarvis is going to be as handsome as he ever once was. I know exactly how it will feel to see him and to hold his hand again.”
Amanda understood. It was the little things. Holding hands. The forehead kisses. The towel snap after cleaning the kitchen. That teary glance as they tucked their children into bed.
“Excuse me.” The helper brought in two glasses of water. “I don’t mean to disturb. I thought you could use these.”
“Thank you.” Maeve took them and handed one to Amanda. “Take a sip.”
Amanda’s hand shook, causing the ice to clink against the sides of the glass. “Thank you. When do you have to leave?”
“Next Friday. I’ve got some paperwork to get straight, and I need to make some arrangements for Methuselah at Paws Town Square. I trust Paul will make sure he’s taken care of. Poor thing is too old for another home.”
“I can do whatever you need. Please let me help,” Amanda pleaded with her. “Friday?” That was so soon. She already missed her. “Can I help you pack? I could pick up some boxes.”
Maeve shook her head. “I’m taking two suitcases of things. You know what they say, ‘You can’t take it with you,’ so I’ll be leaving most everything behind. My sister is sending a car to pick me up. I’ll just take my suitcases. Maybe a couple of my favorite shells for good measure.”
“I’m stunned. You seem so healthy.” She set the water glass down gently.
“Cancer doesn’t have rules. It can be very sneaky.” Maeve laughed. “It was hard for me to accept for a while, because for so many years after Jarvis passed on, I hoped I wouldn’t wake up in the morning. Then finally when I started living again, I got the death sentence.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“No, don’t be. I’m just being dramatic. I outlasted cancer for a lot longer than anyone expected. I did some treatments years ago, and I’ve bought a lot of time. But now there’s nothing else to try and my organs are wearing out. I’m ready.”
