Page 53 of The Shell Collector
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On Sunday morning she woke up knowing Sundays would be different from now on. Since the week after she laid Jack to rest, she’d steered clear of church. It was time to correct that. This morning she got them all dressed in their good clothes and went to the church that was a short two blocks away. Rather than explain why they hadn’t been to church in so long, Amanda acted as if this was part of the plan. To her relief the kids didn’t ask a single question about it.
They slid into the end of a row near the back only a minute before the service began. Jesse squirmed a lot, and Hailey was so quiet at one point that Amanda thought she’d fallen asleep. When Amanda leaned forward to check on her, though, Hailey’s eyes were focused, almost trancelike, on the cross on the wall. The look on her face was so sweet. Whatever was going on in Hailey’s mind at the moment, it was soothing.
I’d give anything to know what you’re thinking, baby girl.
Jesse swayed to the music every time they got up to sing ahymn. Once he learned some songs, he’d enjoy it even more.Hailey picked up on the chorus, singing along with her. The words came back, and when the pastor spoke the benediction, Amanda found she wasn’t ready for the service to be over.
The first few notes from the organ filled the air, almost vibrating as everyone stood and edged toward the center aisle toleave. The postlude song carried familiar tones that comforted her.
Most of the people offered a few words to the ushers as they left. Her stomach churned, causing an acrid taste at the back of her tongue. Her sweaty palms slipped against the tiny hands that clung to her.
Please don’t ask me anything.
“Welcome. It’s so nice to have you here with us,” the pastor said.
“Thank you.” She braced herself for the questions, but they never came. Just a kind smile. And that was it.
Why do I expect the worst?
Hailey waited by the car door for her to unlock it when a little boy walked over to her. In his light-blue button-down shirt and glasses, his hair slicked over to one side, he looked like a miniature financial adviser. All he lacked was a calculator.
“Hi. I’m Matt.” He lifted his hand in an awkward hello, his feet shuffling as he spoke.
“I’m Hailey, and that’s my brother, Jesse.”
Amanda turned, noticing the proud mother and father who stood watching from across the way. She smiled at the couple, resisting the urge to rush her kids into the car and speed away.
“Are you going to elementary school this year?” the accountant continued. “I’m gonna be in the first grade.”
“Me too,” Hailey offered eagerly.
Matt dropped the backpack from his shoulder to the ground and unzipped it. “I brought this in to show everyone at children’s church today. I got it when I was on vacation at my grandma’s house last week.” He pulled out a huge shell. The twisted shape with the tall spire and knobs around the top looked very similar to the one they’d found. “If you put this to your ear, you can hear the ocean no matter where youare.”
Hailey hesitated as she reached for the shell, then held it to her ear. Her eyes lit up. “No way.”
Amanda wished she’d been the one to show Hailey that. Why hadn’t she thought to do that with the one they’d found?
“It’s pretty cool.” Matt seemed pleased with himself.
Just then his mother and father walked over.
Oh no!Amanda had relaxed too soon, but she pasted a smile on her face as she tried to decide how to answer questions about Jack. Lie and tell them she’s divorced? That had been the plan all along, but then she’d been unable to live with the lie to Maeve. And she was in thechurchparking lot, for goodness’ sake.
“Hi. We’re Matt’s folks. I’m Matthew, and this is my wife, Nikki.” He extended his hand.
“So nice to meet you. I’m Amanda.”
“Did I hear your daughter say she’d be going in the first grade too?” Nikki asked.
“You did. At Whelk’s Elementary.”
“That’s wonderful,” Nikki said. “I’m a teacher there.”
What were the odds?“Well, it’s a small world. I’ll be teaching there this fall too. Fourth graders.”
“Oh, fourth grade is so fun. I’ve got the second graders. This will be great. How old is your youngest?”
