Page 106 of The Wedding Ranch
“Thanks, Daddy.”
“Lorri, thank you for coming,” Dad said. “We needed this, but don’t think I didn’t notice that you didn’t mention your new friend. Pam told us about Ryder. He sounds more like a man who deserves a girl as special as you.”
I knew it.
“I always wanted better than Craig for you. If you two ever become more than friends I expect to meet him.”
Dad could still make her feel like his little girl. “I promise, Daddy.”
“Are you driving straight home?”
“Pretty much. Just a couple short stops on the way back, but they won’t take long. I’ll call and let you know when I get there.”
She pulled away from the curb and headed south. She wished she could turn back time and have been there for Mom and Dad before. This visit had been way overdue.
She drove around the block, driving without a real plan. Then she turned into the parking lot of a supermarket, and went inside. She must’ve stood there trying to decide what kind of flowers to buy for a good five minutes. Finally, she grabbeda handful of red Gerbera daisies and took them to the self-checkout.
The flowers made Jeff being gone seem real for the first time. She started her car and began driving. Her mind was full of the stories and pictures she and her parents had shared last night, but she was alone now, with her own emotions, as she drove to where Jeff had been buried.
She entered the gates and drove to the back where the tall building with the cremated remains of bodies were stacked like Legos. More buildings had been added since she’d been here. So many lives. Gone. Across the way, a woman sobbed into a hankie, dabbing at her eyes.
“You stay here, Mister.” She lowered the windows halfway, then got out and walked to where Jeff’s remains had been stored in a wall that looked so utilitarian. Every square marked with an engraved bronze plaque in the exact same design. No difference. No way of knowing any information about the loved one there. She lifted the flowers and dropped them into the cylinder beside Jeff’s name.
“I’m sorry it’s taken me so long. I know your life was hard. I hope where you are now only good things are happening. That you’re never cold, or hungry. Never faced with difficult choices. Knowing that you will always be loved.”
She glanced over as a silver-haired man and young daughter walked by.
“I picked those flowers for a reason,” she said quietly. “Do you remember that day?” She waited, but there was no answer. No feeling that he was listening. She didn’t deserve it. Not yet.“You were right about Craig. You always were a good judge of character. What happened to you? I wish I could understand it. You were the smart one between us. The talented one. I don’t know how this happened to your life. It seems so unfair that yours was so hard. Why would God let that happen?”
She stood waiting for the father and daughter to leave. “Remember junior prom? I had bought my dress and everything. Craig called and canceled on me the day before saying he was sick. Later I found out that he’d taken someone else to the dance.” She swept a tear away. “You brought me Gerbera daisies. You said they were happy flowers and I deserved to be happy. You also told me Craig would never be good enough for me. I wish I’d listened.”
Closing her eyes, she whispered, “I love you, Jeff. I miss the brother that always had my back. I’m tired of being mad at you.” She walked up to the columbarium and placed her hand on Jeff’s name. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”
She turned and headed back to her car. Mister had his head hung out the side window. With her hands in her pockets, she walked along, paying little attention to anything when her foot turned on the sidewalk. As she stumbled, a yellow butterfly flew over and paused for a moment, then flitted from one side of her to the other.
“Little lisa.” Eurema lisa,like the one that almost landed right in my hand that day with Ryder.Like the beautiful design she’d created for Ryder’s scholarship initiative.
The butterfly rose higher, then swirled back toward her nearly brushing her cheek, then flew away.
Mister spotted her and let out a woof. The SUV rocked fromthe weight of him lunging side to side. “That took longer than expected. You’re a good boy.” She reached into the glove box and grabbed a dog treat. “Here you go.” He chomped on it, immediately forgiving her.
She drove home thinking of that butterfly. The visit with her parents had been uplifting.
As they got closer to home, Mister recognized the neighborhood, standing and pressing his nose to the glass.
“We’re home,” she said as she pulled into the garage. She let Mister jump down from the truck, then they went inside and she called Dad so he wouldn’t worry. He answered on the first ring.
“I made it home.” She put a scoop of dog food in Mister’s bowl. He nudged the kibble around, never one to be fast about anything.
“Thanks for letting us know,” Dad said, speaking for them both. “We really enjoyed the visit.”
“Me too.” She adjusted the thermostat.
Dad said, “Please come for Thanksgiving. We’d love that. Your aunt and uncle are coming to town too. It should be nice.”
“Sounds like a plan.” She hung up and checked her emails and messages.
Mister came over and rested his damp chin on her thigh. The older he got the droolier he was. She grabbed a couple of tissues and dabbed at his jowls. Like a child, he twisted out of her reach.
