Page 151 of Hockey Bois
“However you want to,” Jenna said with a shrug. “It’s worth spending the time to figure outwhatyou want, and maybe you should clue Brady in, in case he wants something drastically different.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. He hoped Jenna would let it go now that she’d spoken her mind.
To his disappointment, she wasn’t done yet. “I get that you like him. He’s a decent guy from what I can tell, but he’s clearly got his own baggage, and you ignoring it isn’t going to make it go away. I’m worried you’ve put him on this pedestal, and now that you’re together, you’re too worried about shaking him off it to see that he’s an actual person. The longer you put off talking about it, the worse the fallout’s gonna be.”
Nick sat there and stared at the tablecloth. He blinked a few times because his eyes felt too wet, and he hoped it wasn’t too obvious.
A hand squeezed his shoulder. “I’m on your side,” Jenna said. “I’m not trying to be mean or get you down. I’m worried. You have trouble seeing things when you’re too close, and I know you don’t like confrontation. Talk to Terry if you need advice; he seems to know what’s up.”
That sparked something in Nick, a moment of realization.
Terry and Gail were agreat couple. They clicked so well and were good for each other. Terry was happier. Gail was mellower. They balanced each other out… and none of that was beyond what Nick saw him and Brady being able to become. The real difference was Nick could look over right now and see them dancing together in the middle of a crowded room, not caring how many eyes were on them.
They weren’t hiding. They weren’t afraid. They weren’t tiptoeing around each other.
And maybe Brady wasn’t hiding things, or if he was, it wasn’t for the reasons Nick thought. But Nickwasscared, in all these little ways that strangled him whenever he tried to bring it up to Brady.
“I’m guessing they talk to each other,” Nick croaked. “About things other than hockey.”
“Considering Terry barely knows the difference between hockey and figure skating, I doubt they’re talking much hockey. But yeah, they talk. That’s why he gets to dance with his girlfriend in the courtyard while you’re stuck here, making me make you cry.”
“I’m notcrying.” Yet. His eyes were wet, and he could feel his throat tightening.
Jenna gave him a skeptical once-over.
“I’mfine.”
“Okay. You’re fine. But talk to him, won’t you? I swear, if he’s an even remotely functioning human being, it’s not going to be as bad as you think. It might be bad at first, but it can only get better from there. Justtalk.”
Nick thought back to that night on the bay, when theydidtalk and he felt he’d actually made some tangible progress in getting to understand Brady. Then he thought about all the times when theyshouldhave talked but hadn’t. It wasn’t impossible, but it wasn’t as easy as Jenna made it seem.
“Maybe,” he said. Every time he imagined talking things out, it felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff, not sure if he’d survive the fall. “I’ll try.”
Jenna didn’t look like she believed him. He barely believed himself, so he understood the doubt. “Good,” she said and went back to her own glass of wine. “I’ve gotta go make rounds. You gonna be okay?”
“Yeah. I need a minute anyway.”
But when Jenna walked away, all he had left were his thoughts and a clear view of Terry laughing while Gail dipped him. They were adorable, and it only made him more miserable.
I’ll talk to Brady, he swore.We’ll figure out if we’re actually dating or what the hell is going on, and it’ll be fine.
It would be fine. Right?
Chapter Sixteen: August
“Smells good.” Nick tried to peek over Brady’s shoulder, but Brady boxed him out. “Whatcha makin’?”
“Dinner,” Brady said flatly. “Grab us some pops or something. It’ll be done in a minute.”
Nick grabbed some drinks from the fridge, wondering how many times he could work the word “soda” into conversation to be an ass. Then he remembered that, oh yeah, he hadactual thingsto discuss with Brady, and carbonated beverages weren’t one of them.
He’d set himself a deadline for having the relationship talk. August 1st seemed as good a day as any, and then August had hit, and he and Brady had gone out for mini-golf and they’d had too good a day for Nick to risk ruining it. He’d put it off until the end of the week; they’d had a big game then and sure, they could have talked about it in the parking lot or once they’d gotten back to Brady’s place. But then he’d seen Terry waiting in the lobby for Gail. He gave her a soft kiss in greeting, and she hooked an arm around his as they left.He’dnever gotten a post-game kiss, and seeing them made him lose his nerve.
So he’d extended his deadline until the end of August. He reasoned he’d be able to sense a better opportunity than forcing one, and while that reasoning made him feel better about swallowing his fears and pushing The Talk back, he knew better than to bring it up to Jenna.
Brady slid a perfectly cooked steak across the kitchen island, complete with buttered asparagus.
“Fucking hell, you’re a good cook,” Nick said and dug in before Brady managed to sit down across from him with his own steak.
