Page 60 of Hockey Bois
Every single one of them had their shoes on, Guy included.
“We’re idiots,” Nick mumbled, then more loudly, “Hey guys, where do we put the gifts?”
“Coffee table,” Lexi said. “I think you’re the last ones, so we can start once the hot chocolate’s ready.”
“Sweet.”
Brady put his basket down in the only clear space big enough. Nick tried to be more strategic. He needed a spot that wasn’t super visiblebecause this wasn’t a gift for just anyone to grab. Yes, he understood how the game worked and that buying a gift for a specific person was an exercise in frustration, but this could work. In fact, once it was opened, heknewit’d go where he wanted it to.
“All right,” Benns said cheerfully once everyone had a mug of cocoa with their preferred amount of marshmallows and/or whipped cream. “We’ll draw numbers to see who goes first. On your turn, you open a gift from the table. You then have the choice to either keep your gift or trade it for one of the gifts someone else has already opened. If someone takes the gift you have, you get to take one from someone or open a new one, and so on. No gift can be taken more than three times. Clear?”
Guy raised his hand. “Why do we do this?”
“It’s fun?” Young Greg said.
“It’s hilarious?” Donno added.
“It’s competitive gift-giving to buy the gift everyone wantsandend up with the best gift from other people?” Lexi said.
“It’s less awkward than a Secret Santa when you get someone you don’t know well?” GG said.
“It’s tradition,” Gail said firmly.
Guy nodded. “Okay, I understand.”
He did not understand, and they all knew it, but oh well.
They each drew numbers from a startlingly pink winter hat. Gail was first, then Donno, followed by Brady, Young Greg, Guy, Benns, GG, Lexi, Nick, and then Mags at the end.
Nick had to stifle a protest when Gail went to the table, inspected each gift with a poke or shake, then tookhisscarlet red box. He felt a burst of panic.
No, this is good. It would’ve been nice to see if Brady had picked yours since heknewit was from you, but this is good. Get it opened, let him see what it is…
“All right, boys, let’s see what we’ve got here,” she said and neatly untaped each side to gently pull off the wrapping paper to reveal— “Oh,” she said with actual shock. “OhGod.”
“What is it?”
“It’s, uh… well, it’s hockey-themed.” She pushed aside the wrapping paper and held up the box, showing off the front. There was a clear plastic window that showed a bobblehead of none other than Jaromir Jagr in all his mulleted glory holding up the Cup. The figure alone would be shocking enough to any Caps fan, but the black Penguins jersey truly made it an abomination.
“That’s…” Lexi said but trailed off.
“I don’t…” GG stuttered. “I don’t, uhm…”
“Really?” Young Greg deadpanned. “Jagr? In front of my salad?”
“Is it terrible that I’m glad he’s in a Pens jersey and not in his Caps one?” Donno stage-whispered to Benns.
“And because I’m first, I’m stuck with this, aren’t I?” Gail said and glared at each and every one of them in turn, no doubt wondering who had inflicted this awful gift on the group but more importantly onher.
“We can talk about a late steal at the end if you’d like,” Benns said diplomatically. “I’m sure there are versions where that’s allowed.”
“Greeeat. Thanks, whoever got this.” Gail held it up and shook the box. “I love it.”
All the while, Nick watched Brady’s reaction. He hadn’t seemed particularly interested until the big reveal, and then he’d licked his lips. His eyes had briefly flickered to Nick, but it was too fast for Nick to read anything in it.
The next giftee was Donno, who picked a small package that ended up containing several packs of hockey cards. He flipped through to count them while Gail held up her bobblehead.
“It’d sure be a shame if someone were to steal this bobblehead from me…”
