Page 86 of Second Dance
And I had a terrible thought I couldn’t shake—maybe the only way to keep Gillian and Grace safe was to step out of their lives before Darren could do any more damage.
I stood frozen on the porch, my grip on the railing so tight my knuckles had gone bloodless.
“Alex.” Gillian’s voice came from behind me, gentle. “Come inside.”
I pried my fingers loose and followed her in. Socks slunk past us into the hallway, tail low, perhaps sensing the tension crackling through the air. Or maybe he knew the truth. I brought nothing good to this house.
Gillian closed the door and turned to face me, taking my hands. “Talk to me, please. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” The words came out strangled. I tried again. “I’m fine. I want to be fine. Gillie, I can’t stand the thought of him touching Grace. I want to kill him.”
“He didn’t really hurt her, though. She’s fine. She’s tough. Like me.”
“Why can’t he just take the money and leave us alone? This ismyfault, though. All of it.”
“You couldn’t have known he would follow the girls.” Gillian let go of my hands and wrapped her arms around my neck. “This is all him, not you. You’ve done everything right.”
A bitter laugh tore out of me. “No, that’s not right. I’ve brought this poison into your life. Into Grace’s too.”
“Alex—”
“What if she’d been truly hurt?” My voice rose, fraying at the edges. “What if he decides to hurt you to get to me?” I could barely breathe. My chest was too tight, the air too thin.
“Stop.” Gillian pressed herself against me, but tilted her head to look into my eyes. “None of that’s going to happen. Think about it for a moment. He assaulted a child in the grocery store.The cops will look at the footage, and he’ll be arrested. It’s yet another example of why they would never give the kids to him.”
“This is such a mess.” I lowered my gaze to the hollow of her neck. Part of me wanted to bury my face in her hair and let her hold me together. The other part, perhaps louder, wanted to bolt, to remove myself from her life. For her own sake. But she was right. The cops would surely go after him. Then what?
“This is all drama you don’t need in your life.” I gently took her arms from around my neck and went to the window, looking out at the lush, tidy flower garden in front of her cottage. “You and Grace deserve better.”
She came to stand behind me, her voice soft but urgent. “I’m here because I … I love you. I’ve always loved you. And we have a second chance. Don’t let Darren ruin it. We’ll get rid of him one way or another.”
She loved me? I loved her too. Everything I’d felt for her all those years ago had returned the moment I saw her again. Giving in and letting her love me, though? Was it right? For her? For Grace? For my kids?
“Maybe the safest thing for you and Grace is for me to step away. Until this is over.”
The silence behind me stretched so long I thought she might agree. Then I heard her breath hitch.
“Alex, no. It’s a miracle we found each other again. Don’t leave me. Not a second time.”
I whirled around to look at her. She stood a foot away, arms crossed, eyes blazing with something between fury and heartbreak.”I didn’t leave you. I had to let you go. Maybe I have to do so again.”
“This is different than when we were kids,” Gillian said. “We have choices now. We can choose each other.”
“I feel so overwhelmed and afraid. Out of control. I don’t know how to fix this.”
“You can’t always make everything bend to your will,” Gillian said. “You’re smart enough that you almost always find a way to get what you want—but this time it’s not fully in your control. I understand how frightening this all feels, but he’s no match for you. Or for any of us. The kids will all be fine. They’re resilient. Look at everything they’ve already been through.”
“You don’t understand what men like Darren are capable of?—”
“Oh, I most certainly do. Have you forgotten my childhood? The men my mother used to bring into our home? I know exactly who he is.” She stepped forward, closing the gap. “Don’t run away from me. I didn’t think it was possible to need a man, but I need you. I do. Please, have a little faith in yourself. In us.”
“If he hurts any of you, I’ll never forgive myself.”
Gillian’s expression softened. She reached up, her palm cupping my jaw. “He’s not going to hurt us. The only one who could do that is you—giving up on us and walking away.”
I leaned into her touch, my eyes closing. “What if I’m not enough? For any of you?”
“You’re enough, Alex. I promise.”
