Page 17 of Certified Pressure 4
Then the line went dead.
Pluto stared at the phone, her chest heavin’, then she looked at me. “Next time that bitch call, give me the phone, and I mean that.”
I reached out, grabbin’ her wrist and pullin’ her closer. She landed against me, breathin’ hard. I kissed her, deep and slow, lettin’ her feel everything I couldn’t say. She melted against me, her hands slidin’ up my neck, and when we finally pulled apart, her eyes were glassy.
Rubbin’ the back of her neck, I stared in her eyes, hopin’ she could see how much she meant to me. “I got you.”
Hours passed, and the crib was quiet. I was half asleep when I heard Prestyn cryin’. Pluto was out cold beside me, so I pulled my legs off the bed and stood up slow. My body still ached, but my son needed me. I walked over and picked him up, rockin’ him against my chest.
“Shh, it’s okay, lil’ man,” I murmured. “Daddy got you.”
I kissed his forehead, breathin’ in that baby scent that always made me calm down. I grabbed a bottle with Pluto’s breast milk in it out the mini fridge and put it in the warmer. While I waited,I walked to the nightstand where my phone was. A few messages popped up—Renza checkin’ in, Kay’Lo sayin’ he was outside the gate makin’ sure shit stayed cool, and one name that made my stomach tighten. Ka’mari…
Her message said she heard what happened and wanted to make sure I was okay. She even said she could come through if I needed anything. She ain’t even know I had a newborn or that Pluto was here, and we was locked in.
I stared at the screen for a long time, thinkin’ about our son we lost. Kamir would’ve been here right now if life hadn’t played out the way it did. When I flatlined at the hospital, I saw my boy. For a second, I thought about tellin’ Ka’mari that. I thought maybe it would give her peace, but that moment wasn’t for her. It was for me.
For years I carried that pain like it was my punishment. I held on to Ka’mari ‘cause I ain’t know how to let go. But lookin’ at Pluto layin’ there sleepin’, I knew I already had my closure. Seein’ Kamir was God’s way of tellin’ me to stop chasin’ the past, and focus on my future.
I turned the phone off and tossed it to the side.
I grabbed the bottle, tested it, and sat down on the bed with Prestyn. He was calm now, starin’ up at me like he knew he was safe. I kissed the top of his head and whispered, “You all I need. You and ya mama.”
He made this soft sound, almost like he agreed.
I leaned over and kissed Pluto’s temple before feedin’ our son. The moment felt unreal, like I finally had everything I been fightin’ for.
I had love. I had family, and I had a reason.
I wasn’t just Pressure Mensah no more. I was a father. A man who damn near died and got a second chance to live it right.
And I wasn’t thinkin’ about no other woman. Not Ka’mari, not nobody. She was the last thing on my mind, and it was gon’stay that way. Everything I wanted was already right here in this mansion with me.
Halo Key
Harbor View Inn
Hearing Pressure’s voice on the other end of the line didn’t make me feel any better about all the shit that went down. It just made everything worse. I thought I’d be relieved hearing him talk, knowing he survived, but instead it twisted something inside me. He sounded cold, like I was nothing. He sounded like the same man who used to whisper he loved me, but was now talking to me like I was a stranger.
It had been two weeks since that night, and every second of it has been hell. I was hiding out in Halo Key, using a fake name that didn’t sound nothing like mine. The hotel I was in wasn’t terrible, but it damn sure wasn’t what I was used to. The sheetswere rough, the walls was too thin, and the air conditioner made a buzzing sound that drove me crazy. The room smelled like bleach and lemons.
The cash I had stashed in a duffel by the bed was starting to feel lighter every day. I had money, but I couldn’t even enjoy it. I couldn’t swipe a card or use my real name without risking somebody tracking me. I went from private jets and mansions to catching buses, wearing shades, and hoping nobody recognized me. Pressure had me living like a fugitive in a place that didn’t even feel like mine.
I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall. That phone call kept replaying in my head. I kept hearing his voice, flat and heartless. The same voice that used to make me weak now just made me angry. How dare this nigga talk to me like I didn’t matter. How dare he made it sound like all he gave a fuck about was his damn money and jewelry. After everything we been through, after all the nights he told me I was his peace, his woman, his everything.
He left me at the altar. He humiliated me in front of the world, and now he wanna act like I’m the one who ruined everything. Tuh!
My eyes burned, and I wiped my face hard. Maybe I was wrong for shooting him… Maybe. But he pushed me there. If he would’ve just been honest, and if he would’ve just loved me the way I deserved, none of this would’ve happened.
I thought about Pluto and my stomach turned. That bitch had the nerve to grab the phone from him like she was really like that, or like she had some fucking right to insert herself in my life. I bet she was sitting in that big-ass house right now, nursing his baby, and acting like she won. But she didn’t win. She just picked up the pieces I left behind.
The more I thought about it, the more my guilt started to fade. I didn’t mean to shoot Pressure that many times, but partof me wished I would’ve aimed higher, at his damn head because maybe then he wouldn’t be sitting somewhere acting like I never existed.
I leaned forward and ran my fingers through my hair. My reflection in the mirror across from me looked nothing like the woman I used to be. My edges weren’t laid, my nails had grown out, and my lashes were hanging by a thread. My skin didn’t glow the way it used to. Pressure used to tell me I looked like money. Now I looked like I’d been running from it.
The room was quiet, but outside I could hear the waves crashing against the shore. I thought about calling my daddy. I missed him so bad. He was probably worried sick, wondering if I was even alive. I hadn’t called him or anybody since the night before everything went down. He’d always been my safe place, even when he did shit I didn’t approve of.
But what could I tell him? That I was hiding from the family of the man I shot? That I was scared to even walk outside in daylight? I’d lost everything, and the worst part was knowing I did it to myself.
