Page 32 of Certified Pressure 4
After a few seconds, I spoke again. “You know what’s crazy though? A part of me thankful for it.”
Dr. V. looked up. “Thankful?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I ain’t sayin’ I’m glad it happened, but when I got shot, I saw somethin’. I saw my son, Kamir. He been gone for years, but when I was layin’ there bleedin’, I swear I saw him smilin’ at me. He told me to go back. He said I still got people waitin’ on me. I ain’t never talked about that ‘cause I ain’t want nobody thinkin’ I’m crazy, but that shit changed me. It made me look at life different. It made me stop movin’ reckless, and made me appreciate Pluto more. It made me hold my son tighter.”
Dr. V.’s eyes softened. “That sounds like a very profound experience. Maybe that was your moment of clarity, a reminder that you’re still meant to be here.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I used to think I ain’t deserve none of this, but look at me now. I got my son right here, Pluto beside me, and Zurie runnin’ around the house callin’ me her favorite person. I got a whole family dependin’ on me. I can’t keep lettin’ the past weigh me down.”
Pluto turned my face toward hers and looked me dead in the eyes. “I love you, Pressure.”
My throat felt tight, but I managed to smirk through it. “I love you too, mama.”
Dr. V. smiled at us both. “That’s what growth looks like. You’ve survived the worst and built something beautiful from it. Keep choosing peace, both of you.”
When the session wrapped up, I stood up with Prestyn in my arms, and Pluto was right there beside me. I felt lighter leavin’ that office than I had in months. I looked down at my son, then at Pluto, and it hit me all over again.
Everything I thought I lost had been replaced with somethin’ realer.
As we walked out the door, Pluto slipped her hand into mine, and I squeezed it tight. “You glad you came?” I asked her.
She smiled. “Yeah. I really am.”
I grinned and kissed her temple. “Good. ‘Cause this time, I ain’t goin’ through nothin’ without you.”
We walked out to the car together with sunlight hittin’ us just right. A nigga felt at peace.
Halo Key
Nooré was nice enough to let me stay at her condo and I had been here for the past week. The place sat right off the beach, tucked behind a row of palm trees that moved with the wind like they didn’t have a care in the world. Every morning I woke up to the sound of waves, and that alone felt like peace.
Halo Key was different from Trill-Land. Trill-Land was bold and alive, and built on legacy and power, but Halo Key moved slower. The air was softer here, the people were more laid back, and life felt like it had no rush to it. I wasn’t used to that kind of calm, and sometimes it made me uneasy, like too much silence could expose the noise in my head. I had been keeping to myself, doing everything I could to seem normal. I cleaned, cooked,made myself useful, and tried not to think about everything I’d done to get here.
Nooré worked long hours, and her fiancé Lyrick was gone most days, working at his family’s business. They didn’t ask too many questions, which made it easy for me to breathe. They thought I was Jayla—the woman whose husband had been murdered. The lie had rolled off my tongue before I even planned it, and once it was out, I had no choice but to stick with the shit. Every time Nooré smiled at me or brought me something home from work, guilt twisted in my stomach. She didn’t deserve to be lied to, but I couldn’t afford to tell her who I really was.
Tonight the condo smelled like garlic, lemon, and butter. I had made shrimp pasta with a side of roasted vegetables and baked bread. I figured cooking was the least I could do since Nooré had opened her home to me. Nooré had a Bluetooth speaker, so I used it to put on some R&B music. The condo was warm and smelled good, and for the first time in a while, I felt something close to peace.
The front door opened, and Lyrick walked in with his gym bag slung over his shoulder. His hairline was fresh, his beard lined clean, and that dark skin of his looked smooth like polished mahogany. He smelled like cologne and barber spray, that mix of fade cream and something masculine that hit before he even said a word.
“Damn, it smell good in here,” he said, dropping his bag by the couch.
I smiled, stirring the pasta. “It’s just shrimp pasta and veggies. You hungry?”
He licked his lips and nodded. “Hell yeah, I’m hungry. Been movin’ around since earlier, didn’t even eat lunch. Lemme hop in the shower real quick though, cool?”
“Go ahead,” I said, trying to keep my eyes off him as he walked away.
When he disappeared down the hallway, I exhaled and shook my head. Lyrick was fine in that effortless way. He didn’t try too hard. He moved like he knew who he was and didn’t need to prove it to anybody. I tried to remind myself he belonged to someone else… to Nooré, the same woman who had been kind enough to let me stay here, but that didn’t stop my mind from wandering where it shouldn’t have.
By the time he came back out, his skin was fresh and he smelled like soap and cologne. When he walked into the kitchen again, I nearly dropped the plate in my hand. His grey sweatpants hung low on his hips, and the white V-neck hugged his chest just right. His tattoos peeked from under the sleeve, and his waves were deep enough to make a bitch seasick.
He grinned when he caught me looking. “I told you it smelled good as hell in here.”
I laughed lightly, turning my attention back to the food. “You want me to fix your plate?”
“If you don’t mind,” he said, sliding into a chair at the table.
I made him a plate and then sat across from him with mine. The candles on the counter flickered against his skin, throwing soft light over his face. He took his first bite and groaned low.
