Page 6 of Certified Pressure 4
The room got real still, and I could feel all eyes on me. My chest hurt, my head hurt, but one thought was louder than all of it.
“Where my baby?” I muttered.
My mama turned her head, tryin’ to pull herself together. She wiped her face and stepped aside.
Pluto walked in, movin’ slow, still wearin’ her hospital gown. Her hair was tied back messy, her face was pale, and her eyes was damn near swollen shut from cryin’. She was holdin’ our baby tight against her chest. My whole world shifted right then.
Everybody turned when she came in. The room went quiet, like every soul in here knew what this moment meant.
She looked right at me. “You remember what you said before you left?” her voice came out soft and shaky. “You told me when you got back, I had to give him back to you.”
I felt my throat tighten, but I nodded.
She sniffed and took another step forward. “Well, you back.”
That’s all it took. She was cryin’, I was cryin’, and before she could take another step, I struggled to hold my arms out. “Come here, baby,” I rasped.
Pluto came closer, tears runnin’ down her face, and I reached for her. She leaned down over me, her body pressin’ against the side of the bed, and I wrapped my bandaged arms around her as best I could. The pain was screamin’ through me, but I ain’t care. I needed to feel her. She smelled like baby powder and hospital soap, but it was the sweetest smell in the world.
She was cryin’ hard now, her lips shakin’ against my cheek as she whispered, “I thought I lost you.”
“Nah, baby,” I whispered back. “I told you I was comin’ back to you.”
Her hand slid up to the side of my face, touchin’ me soft like she was scared I was gon’ vanish. I leaned my head forward, and our lips met slow, deep, and heavy with everything we been through. I kissed her like I was tryna breathe again. She kissed me back like she was tryna pull my soul through my mouth. It wasn’t no light kiss. It was the type that said,we still here.
You could hear a few gasps around the room, but I ain’t give a fuck. For the first time since I woke up, I felt more alive than I ever felt in my life. She kept kissin’ me—my lips, my cheek, my forehead, whisperin’ I love you over and over between every kiss. I slid my hand up her neck and kissed her again, tongue and all, right there in front of everybody. This was mine… My woman, my heart…. My reason.
When we finally pulled apart, I wiped her tears with my thumb. “I’m sorry for everything, P. Every fight, every dumb decision, every time I made you feel like you ain’t mean nothin’ to me. You the only woman I ever loved for real.”
She shook her head, cryin’. “You don’t gotta say that now.”
“I do,” I said. “I almost ain’t get the chance to see you and my son again.”
She bent down again, kissin’ my face, my lips, my nose and my chin, and each one was softer than the last. Then she rested her forehead against mine and whispered, “I love you too, Pressure.”
The nurse came in right then, rollin’ the bassinet closer. Pluto turned, still teary-eyed, and slid her arms under Prestyn’s tiny body. When she placed him on my chest, I gasped from the weight pressin’ against my bandages, but I ain’t care. That was my son. That was my legacy.
Prestyn was warm, soft, and perfect. His lil’ head rested against my chest, and I could feel his heartbeat against mine. I started cryin’.
“He look just like me,” I whispered.
Pluto smiled through her tears. “He do. He really do.”
I kissed the top of his head, breathin’ him in. “Wussup baby boy?” My voice cracked, and I looked up at the ceilin’ like I was talkin’ to God Himself. Then I looked back down at my baby and kissed the top of his head. “Ya big brother said hey, and he love you.”
The room got quiet again. I knew they heard me, but nobody said a word. My mama turned her face into Pops’s chest, cryin’ harder. Renza wiped his eyes, and Kay’Lo walked out the room for a second, his hands over his head.
Pluto’s hand came up to her mouth, her shoulders shakin’. She then rubbed my shoulder. “He waited for you, Pressure. We both did.”
I looked up at her. Even through all the pain, I smirked. “I told you I was comin’ back. I don’t break promises.”
I looked back down at Prestyn. He moved a lil’, and his small hand slid up and wrapped around my finger. That tiny grip hit me harder than them bullets ever could. That’s when I knew I had to keep goin’. I had somethin’ real to live for.
My mind went to Kamir. He was my first boy, and the one I never got to hold. When I was layin’ there in that dark space between life and death, I saw him. I knew people was probably gon’ say it was the drugs or the trauma or whatever the fuck, but I know what I saw. My son was there, smilin’ at me, tellin’ me he love me and to go back. He was tellin’ me it wasn’t my time yet.
I wiped my face with the back of my hand. “I love you, son,” I whispered to Prestyn.
Pluto leaned closer, kissin’ my forehead. “We love you too, Pressure.”
