Page 76 of Certified Pressure 4
Everything around me went back to moving, people loading boxes, doors closing, the sound of engines starting, but Nooré’s words kept replaying in my head.
Karma don’t sleep…
I told myself she was just hurt, and that she was trying to make me feel guilty. But deep down, something about what she said stayed with me. It sat there quietly, waiting, like a warning I didn’t want to understand.
On the way back home, my mind was racing with everything that had just happened. Nooré’s words were still ringing in my ears, cutting through my thoughts no matter how much I tried to pushthem away. I had my hand on my belly, rubbing slow circles over the small kicks that came and went. I had eight weeks until I became somebody’s mama for real. You’d think that thought alone would calm me, but it didn’t. All I felt was guilt and confusion.
Lyrick was driving with one hand on the wheel, and the other resting near the gearshift. The music was low, and had some slow R&B playing through the speakers, but neither one of us was really listening. I could tell he was in his own head, probably thinking about the scene outside the hall. He hadn’t said much since we got in the car, but just glanced at me once or twice like he wanted to speak but didn’t know what to say.
I looked over at him finally and asked, “What you thinking about?”
He kept his eyes on the road and said, “That shit with Nooré was wild.” His voice was low and tense, and I could tell that was all he planned to say about it.
I nodded, turning back toward the window. There wasn’t anything else to say. What happened was messy, but it was already done. It was too late to go back and fix any of it. In eight weeks, me and Lyrick would be having a baby together, and that was the only thing that mattered now.
When we got home, I grabbed my purse from the back seat and went inside. Lyrick’s cousin pulled up behind us in the truck with all the gifts from the shower and helped him carry everything inside. They stacked boxes and bags near the nursery, talking and laughing a little while I stood in the hallway watching them. It should’ve made me happy, but that feeling still wouldn’t come.
I went in my room, hoping that washing the day off me would calm my nerves.
Once undressed, I stepped into the shower. The warm water hit my skin, and I closed my eyes, letting it run down my faceand body until the steam fogged the whole room. But even standing here under the water, my mind was heavy. Something in my spirit felt off, like there was a storm creeping closer that I couldn’t see yet. I didn’t know if it was the pregnancy making me feel hypersensitive or if my body just knew something that I didn’t, but I couldn’t shake it.
When I got out, I wrapped myself in a towel and sat down on the edge of the bed. My hair was dripping down my back, and I just sat there naked, staring at the floor. The silence hit me hard. My chest started to ache, and before I knew it, tears were sliding down my face. It wasn’t even one thing in particular; it was everything. My mama, my daddy, the way I betrayed people who really loved me, the way people betrayed me, the life I used to have that felt a million miles away. I couldn’t even find the words to explain what I was feeling because it wasn’t just sadness, but was like my whole spirit was tired.
Lyrick walked in and saw me sitting. “You good?” he asked, coming closer. “You hurtin’ or somethin’?”
I shook my head, trying to breathe through the lump in my throat. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I said softly, my voice shaking. “I just don’t feel right. It’s like something’s coming. I can feel it.”
He crouched in front of me, resting his hands on my knees. “Ain’t nothing coming, baby. You safe. I got you,” he said. “You and my son good. You don’t gotta worry about nothin’. I’m gon’ protect y’all.”
He pulled me into his arms, and I let him. His warmth should’ve been enough to calm me, but it didn’t. I wanted to believe him so bad. I wanted to believe that we could just move forward, leave the past where it was, and raise our baby in peace. But I couldn’t help thinking about everything that had led me here, and everything I’d done to survive.
As he held me, my mind wandered back to Pressure. It always did when I was at my weakest. I tried not to think about him anymore, but he stayed in the back of my head like a ghost that refused to fade. I had shot that man. I had almost taken everything from him, but some twisted part of me still loved him. I still remembered the way he used to look at me, the way his voice could pull me out of any bad mood. I used to think we were unbreakable.
And even though being with Lyrick felt good, it wasn’t the same. Pressure’s protection hit different. When he wrapped his arms around me, it was like the whole world disappeared. It wasn’t just safety, it was power. He carried this weight about him, and this presence that made everybody fall in line without him even having to speak. When he held me, I felt untouchable, like nothing could ever reach me. His arms weren’t just strong, they were home. That type of security was something you didn’t just forget, no matter how much you tried to move on.
Now I was carrying another man’s child and still trying to bury feelings that refused to die. Maybe that was why I named my son Presslan. Nobody knew that. Not even Lyrick. But I knew. Every time I said my baby’s name, I felt that pull in my heart again, like I was trying to keep a piece of Pressure close without admitting it to myself.
I wiped my face and pulled back a little. “I just don’t feel safe,” I whispered. “Even with all these cameras and everything around us, I don’t feel safe.”
Lyrick sighed and kissed my forehead. “You overthinkin’, baby. We good. We gon’ keep buildin’ this life. Ain’t nobody gon’ take that from us.”
I nodded, even though deep down, I didn’t believe him. Something inside me was shifting, and no matter how tight he held me, I couldn’t stop it.
When he finally let go, I looked over at him and tried to smile. He smiled back and rubbed his hand over my belly. For a second, his joy made me smile for real.
But once he walked away to smoke and unwind, I got all the way in bed and laid on my side. My hands rested on my stomach, feeling the small movements underneath my skin. This baby was innocent, untouched by the lies and the pain that had built the world he was about to come into. I just hoped he stayed that way.
My thoughts drifted to Pluto for the first time in months. We used to talk about being grown, married, and having babies one day. We’d laugh about what our kids would look like, what we’d name them and how we’d still be best friends living next door to each other. I never imagined our lives would turn out like this. She had Pressure, and I had his ghost.
My life felt off balance, like the universe was correcting itself in ways I couldn’t understand. Everything I thought I wanted was right in front of me, but none of it felt right anymore.
I closed my eyes and tried to breathe, but even in that silence, I could still hear Nooré’s voice echoing in my head, telling me karma don’t sleep.
It was just something about it that bothered the fuck out of me.
Trill-Land, Jungle Estate
Today was me and Pressure’s gender reveal, and it felt like the whole estate was glowing. It was full of life, and the mansion had been transformed into something straight out of a dream. Everywhere I looked, I saw hints of royal blue and rose gold. The long tables in the garden shimmered under the soft lighting, the crystal glasses catching the sun as if they had been dipped in light. The floral arrangements looked like something out of a Seraphine shoot, handpicked by Abeni herself. It was elegant, expensive, and loud in a way only Pressure’s family knew how to pull off.
