Page 81 of Certified Pressure 4
Toni stood up. “Excuse me,” she said softly, her voice tremblin’. She walked toward the hall, her heels clickin’ across the floor as she made her way to the front door.
“Son,” Pops said, his tone softer now like he knew he fucked up. He reached out to touch my shoulder, but I stepped back. “Don’t walk out like this.”
“Nah,” I said. “You crossed a line, Pops. You don’t get to come back from that.”
My mama reached for my arm, tears in her eyes. “Please, just calm down.”
“I love y’all,” I said, lookin’ at her, “but I can’t keep lettin’ nobody disrespect my girl. We not doin’ that.”
Then I walked off, leavin’ my father standin’ there with that look he used to give me when I was little and did somethin’ he couldn’t control. Only this time, it wasn’t about discipline. It was about pride, pain, and the fact that the man who raised me to stand on my own had to watch me do it against him.
When I stepped outside, Toni was already waitin’ by the car. She looked up at me, her eyes glassy but strong. I didn’t say nothin’ at first. I just walked up to her and pulled her into me, pressin’ her against the side of the car. My arms wrapped around her tight, like I could shield her from the whole world if I held her close enough. Her head rested on my chest, and I could feel the small, uneven rhythm of her breathin’. She was hurt.
I rubbed her back slow, slidin’ my hand up and down the curve of her spine while I whispered, “I’m sorry, baby.” My voice came out low, ‘cause I was hurt too. “I’ll never put you in no position like this again.”
She didn’t respond, but I felt her fingers grip my shirt tight, and that was enough. I kissed the top of her head, still rubbin’ her back, just lettin’ her feel how serious I was. For a while, neither one of us moved. It was just me holdin’ her.
As I walked around to the driver’s side, I looked back at the mansion that raised me, the one that taught me everything I knew about power, loyalty, and love. I still loved them, but from this moment on, I knew shit would never be the same.
It was only 8 p.m. but it felt late as hell. The tension between me and Toni was growin’ and I ain’t like that shit at all. She had been quiet since we left my parents’ house, and the silence was startin’ to do somethin’ to me. I was sittin’ on the edge of the bed with a blunt between my fingers, watchin’ the smoke twist up toward the ceilin’ while my mind replayed the whole day. I hated how my pops talked to her, like she wasn’t worthy of standin’ next to me. That shit cut deep, but what hurt even more was the way Toni been actin’ since then. She wasn’t her loud, funny, wild self. She was just quiet, mellow and that scared me more than her yellin’ ever could.
The sound of the shower cut off and after a few seconds the bathroom door opened. Steam rolled out, and Toni stepped into the room with a towel wrapped around her. Her skin glowed from the heat, and her natural curls was damp, hangin’ wild around her face. She had her phone in her hand, talkin’ low.
“Yeah, I’m ‘bout to throw somethin’ on and be out there,” she said, walkin’ toward the dresser.
I exhaled slow, put the blunt out in the ashtray, and asked, “Where you goin’?”
She glanced over her shoulder like it wasn’t nothin’. “I’m hangin’ with Pluto. We gon’ sit outside and talk for a lil’ bit.”
I stared at her for a second, feelin’ that familiar heat rise in my chest. It wasn’t jealousy or no shit like that, but was more like frustration, or that lil’ feelin’ you get when you know somethin’ ain’t right, but you tryna stay calm about it. I got up and walked toward her, each step slow but intentional until she was backedup near the wall. Her towel was tight around her chest, and when I leaned in close, she looked up at me like she didn’t know if she wanted to kiss me or run.
“You still my baby, right?” I asked.
She hesitated before she nodded. “Of course I am,” she said softly, her hand comin’ up to my chest like she wanted to push me back but couldn’t bring herself to do it.
“Then why you actin’ like you don’t love me?” I asked, my eyes locked on hers. “Why you pullin’ away from me like I ain’t your man?”
Her lips parted, but she didn’t say nothin’. I could see her fightin’ whatever she felt. I reached for the edge of the towel and let it fall. She gasped, her eyes wide, but she didn’t move when I leaned in and started kissin’ her neck. The taste of her skin hit my tongue and my body reacted before my mind could catch up. She smelled like coconut and warm water, and I couldn’t get enough.
“Kay’Lo,” she whispered, her voice tremblin’. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Yeah, you are,” I murmured against her skin. “Pluto can wait.”
She shook her head, her hand slidin’ up to my shoulder. “Stop. Please.”
I pulled back then, my chest tight as hell. I looked at her face and saw her eyes already fillin’ up. The tears came slow at first, then they fell heavy, streakin’ down her cheeks like she been holdin’ ‘em in all day. My stomach dropped.
“Damn, baby,” I whispered. “I can’t stand to see you cry.”
She looked down, her hands tremblin’ as she tried to wipe her face. “I’m fine,” she whispered, but her voice cracked.
I wanted to believe her, but I knew better. She been through enough. Her cousin gone because of me, then her family hatin’ her for choosin’ me. Then my pops made her feel small right toher face. I couldn’t blame her for breakin’ down. Still, it tore me up inside.
“Toni,” I said, tryna touch her arm, but she stepped back.
“I’m about to get dressed,” she said.
I nodded, watchin’ her move toward the dresser again. The way she moved was slow, like her body was heavy with everything she was carryin’. She started oilin’ her skin, then slipped into a long black dress that hugged her curves before flowin’ down past her feet. She was beautiful, but the sadness in her eyes made it hard to even breathe.
