Page 82 of Certified Pressure 4
I sat back down on the bed, my elbows on my knees, just watchin’ her. She picked up one of the blunts I rolled for her earlier, lit it, and took a long drag like she needed that more than air. She ain’t even look at me when she reached for her purse.
“I love you,” I said, my voice deep and rough. “You know that, right?”
Her eyes was still red when she looked at me. “I love you too,” she said softly.
“Then come kiss me,” I told her.
She hesitated, then walked over to me. When her lips met mine, it was soft, almost hesitant, but it was real. I held her face in my hands, kissin’ her slow, tryna remind her that no matter what, a nigga was always here. She pulled back and turned away before I could say anything else.
I watched her walk out the room, her dress swaying behind her. I sat there for a few minutes, lettin’ the quiet sink in, then grabbed my phone. I needed somebody who would understand. Somebody who been where I was.
I hit Pressure’s line.
He answered on the second ring, his voice calm but loud in the background. “Wus’ good, ‘Lo?”
“You by yourself?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m in the game room, watchin’ the game, smokin’ and drinkin’ a lil’ bit.”
“A’ight,” I said, gettin’ up from the bed. “I’m ‘bout to head that way.”
I hung up, grabbed my weed, and took one last look toward the door Toni just walked out of. No matter how strong I tried to act, I felt weak without her close. I ain’t like how that felt, but I knew one thing for sure. I wasn’t about to lose her. Not over nobody. Not even my own blood.
When I hit the game room, I already knew Pressure was in his zone. The lights was dim, and some smooth shit was playin’ low from the speakers, mixin’ with the sound of the game on the flat screen. The whole room smelled like Trillium and dark liquor, that signature scent that let you know this washisspace. He was kicked back on the couch, one arm resting on the top, and a short glass in his hand, lookin’ too damn relaxed for somebody who used to have the world tryna take his head off. Real talk, the nigga looked at peace.
I walked in and closed the door behind me, lettin’ the vibe Pressure was on sink into me. I sat down beside him and reached for the bottle on the table. “You ain’t gon’ offer a nigga nothin’ to drink?” I muttered, pickin’ up a clean glass and pourin’ myself a shot anyway.
Pressure smirked without even lookin’ my way. “You grown, nigga. Pour yo’self somethin’.”
I lifted the glass in his direction and took a sip. The liquor burned all the way down, but it was the good kind of burn. Igrabbed the blunt from behind my ear, lit it, and leaned back, just vibin’ to the beat. For a minute, neither of us said shit. It was just smoke, the sound of the game, and that unspoken understandin’ between cousins who been through it all.
Finally, Pressure turned his head, his eyes low and sharp. “A’ight, ‘Lo. What the fuck goin’ on? I can tell you ain’t just pull up to vibe.”
I laughed under my breath, rubbin’ my palm over my face. “Man… I went to my parents’ house today. Took Toni with me.”
Pressure’s brows raised. “Oh, you finally told ‘em?”
“Yeah,” I said, draggin’ on my blunt before passin’ it to him. “Told ‘em I asked her to marry me.”
Pressure took the blunt, inhaled, and looked straight ahead. “Lemme guess. Uncle Kwame flipped the fuck out.”
I nodded, my jaw tight. “You already know. Nigga damn near lost it. Talkin’ ‘bout how I’m throwin’ my life away, and how I done lost my mind, like he wasn’t the one who taught me to stand on what I love.”
Pressure exhaled a cloud of smoke, the corner of his mouth liftin’ slightly. “You shoulda known he was gon’ say some shit. Unc old school. He don’t move like us.”
“Yeah, I know how he move,” I said, shakin’ my head. “But it ain’t about that. You can feel however the fuck you gon’ feel, but you don’t disrespect my woman.”
Pressure nodded slow. “Respect.”
I stared at the glass in my hand, my thoughts gettin’ heavier by the second. “It’s just wild ‘cause I really thought he would at least try to understand. Toni got her flaws, just like everybody else, but that girl love me. She the realest I ever had. I ain’t never met nobody that made me feel how she make me feel. But he ain’t even look at her, bro. He act like she don’t deserve to breathe the same air as us.”
Pressure leaned forward, restin’ his elbows on his knees. “Ain’t nothin’ you can do to make folks see what you see. Unc see the world through a different lens. To him, you still his baby boy, and he don’t want no woman comin’ in and fuckin’ up his idea of how your life supposed to go.”
I laughed bitterly. “Well, too late for that shit. I’m grown, and I ain’t lettin’ nobody disrespect what’s mine.”
Pressure took another hit of the blunt, nodded, then handed it back. “So, what you gon’ do?”
“I’on even know right now. Toni hurt, bro. She ain’t sayin’ much, but I can see it all over her face. She been cryin’ and shit. I hate seein’ her like that. She already been through enough. Between losin’ her cousin and now dealin’ with my pops lookin’ at her like she trash, I can tell she barely holdin’ it together.”
