Page 51 of Certified Pressure 4
Eventually, it got too risky staying in Nooré’s condo, so I told her I was moving back to my city. She believed me without hesitation, hugged me, and told me to stay safe. I wanted to cry when she said that, knowing how deep the betrayal ran. I packed up, left her a note, and checked into a hotel under Lyrick’s name. That became our space, and our little world away from the truth.Sometimes we’d stay up all night talking, watching movies, or just lying there in silence. He’d hold me like he didn’t want to let go, and for a while, I let myself believe he wouldn’t.
But lately, I hadn’t been feeling right. I’d been exhausted for no reason, falling asleep in the middle of the day, and waking up nauseous. My breasts felt sore, my mood was off, and I kept brushing it off like it was nothing. When my period didn’t come, I felt that panic rise. I counted the days on my phone, and my heart started racing. I knew what it meant before I even said it out loud.
Earlier, I was sitting at the edge of the bed, staring at the floor, trying to find the courage to say something. When Lyrick walked in, I finally told him I hadn’t been feeling good. He looked at me for a second, confused, and then his face changed like he understood before I even said the words.
“You think you might be pregnant?” he asked.
I just nodded. My throat felt tight, and I couldn’t get any words out. He didn’t yell or panic. He just grabbed his keys and said he was going to the store. I watched him leave, my heart pounding in my chest.
Now, he was gone and I was pacing the room over and over. My mind was racing, and all I could think about was Pressure. The last time I thought I was pregnant, I was with him. Both times, it turned out there was no baby, and both times it broke something in me. I could still see the doctor shaking her head, and could still feel that silence between us when we left the clinic. I remembered Pressure sitting there like it was just something to just get over. He never said he didn’t want a baby with me, but I knew. He wanted that life with Pluto, not me. That realization stayed with me.
Now here I was again, pacing around a hotel room waiting to see if my life was about to change. When Lyrick came back, he had the bag in his hand. He didn’t say much, but just handed itto me. His face was calm, unreadable, and it made me even more nervous. I took the test into the bathroom, shut the door, and stared at it for a minute before even opening the box.
When I finally did, my hands were shaking. I followed the directions, sat on the edge of the tub, and waited. Those three minutes felt like a lifetime. I closed my eyes, trying to slow down my thoughts, but I couldn’t stop the memories of everything I’d done to get here. The lies, the hiding, the late nights, the secrets… all of it felt like it had led to this moment.
When I finally looked down, my chest tightened. The word was right there, clear as day.Pregnant. I covered my mouth with both hands, and tears filled my eyes. It didn’t even feel real at first. For a moment, I thought maybe I was dreaming, but I wasn’t. The damn test said I was pregnant.
All those times I thought I couldn’t have a baby, all those moments I felt broken, and here I was holding proof that I could. The tears kept falling as I whispered to myself, “Thank you, God.” I had been running so long I forgot what it felt like to hope for something good.
I wiped my face and took a deep breath before walking out. Lyrick was standing by the window with his arms crossed and his eyes focused on me. He didn’t ask what the test said. I just walked up and handed it to him. He looked at it, blinked a few times, then said, “Damn.”
My heart dropped. “Are you mad?” I asked softly.
He shook his head and looked up at me. “Nah, I ain’t mad. I’m just… tryna take it in.
“You sure you not mad? Are you going to leave me?” I asked nervously.
“I’m not goin’ nowhere. We just gon’ have to figure this out. I got you.”
I wiped my face again and whispered, “What about Nooré?”
He exhaled, rubbed his neck, and said, “I gotta call the wedding off. I can’t marry her now. Not after this.”
I stared at him, trying to process what he just said. Relief washed over me so fast I almost fell apart all over again. I didn’t know what would happen next, but for the first time in a long time, I felt like I wasn’t alone.
He pulled me close, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed my forehead. I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes, feeling that little spark of peace that had been missing. But as he held me, I felt that sting of guilt in my chest. He still didn’t know who I really was. He thought my name was Jayla, and with a baby now on the way, I knew I couldn’t keep that lie going much longer.
I didn’t know how he’d react when I told him the truth, but for now, in this moment, I let myself breathe. I let myself believe that maybe this time, things would finally work out in my favor.
Eden Care Medical Center
Last week I found out I was pregnant and now I was at the clinic just trying to make it feel real. The sign above the glass window saidEden Care Medical Center. The building was quiet, clean, and smelled like lemon sanitizer and lavender air freshener. Lyrick was sitting beside me, scrolling through his phone, tapping his foot like he didn’t want to be here but was trying to look like he did. I kept staring down at the clipboard in my lap, my fingers tracing over the boxes I had already filled out. The pen felt heavy in my hand as I wrote my real name at the top of the page.Kashmere Charm.Seeing it on paper again aftermonths of pretending I was someone else made my heart race. I looked over to make sure Lyrick wasn’t paying attention before quickly flipping the page and finishing the rest.
When I got to the bottom, where it said, “Preferred Name,” I hesitated for a second. Then I wroteJayla.My stomach twisted just looking at it. It was the same lie I’d been carrying since the day I met him, and every time I wrote it or said it out loud, it burned a little more. I took the clipboard back up to the front and slid it under the window. The woman behind the counter smiled politely and said she’d check me in.
As she started typing, I leaned forward and whispered, “Could you please make sure they call me Jayla?”
She looked up at me, confused for a second, then nodded. “Of course, honey. I’ll make sure the doctor knows.”
“Thank you,” I said softly before walking back to my seat.
Lyrick looked up at me, his brows slightly raised. “Everything good?”
“Yeah,” I said quickly, sitting down. “Just ready to get this over with.”
He nodded but didn’t say much. I could tell his mind was spinning, just like mine. We sat there in silence while the TV in the corner played some morning talk show about parenting tips. Every few seconds I glanced at the receptionist, half expecting her to call me up and tell me something was wrong. When she finally said, “Jayla?” my chest tightened.
Lyrick stood up beside me, sliding his phone into his pocket. He placed a hand on the small of my back as we walked toward the nurse, and even though it was a small gesture, it calmed me. The nurse smiled and led us down the hallway to a small room. The walls were white with little green vines painted near the ceiling, and the air smelled faintly like baby lotion. She handed me a small cup and told me to go to the bathroom at the end of the hall.
