Page 74 of Certified Pressure 4
“I’m never lettin’ nobody else hurt you,” I whispered, kissin’ her jaw, her cheek and her temple. “I’m never lettin’ you feel alone. I’m never lettin’ you hold all this weight by yourself again. You got a man now. You got me.”
Her cry hit my neck. It was broken and full of years she never let herself feel.
“I need you,” she whispered, tremblin’. “I need you so bad.”
“I’m yours, baby,” I breathed, holdin’ her tighter, keepin’ my dick deep inside her. “I’m your safe space. I’m your peace. I’m your man.”
Her tears ran down her face, heavier now.
“It’s okay,” I murmured, kissin’ her cheek, kissing her tears. “Let it out. You safe with me.”
She cried harder, her face buried in my neck now, and her fingers grippin’ the back of my head like she ain’t want me to move, even though I wasn’t goin’ nowhere.
“You hear me,” I whispered, slidin’ my hand under her thigh and holding her open to stroke her again. “I’m your safe space. I ain’t ever lettin’ you go through shit alone again.”
“People hurt me,” she whispered. “They ain’t care. They ain’t protect me. They ain’t love me right… and it messed me up… it messed me up so bad.”
I grabbed her face with both hands, forcin’ her to look at me while I kept hittin’ that pussy right.
“You ain’t messed up, baby,” I whispered, my forehead touchin’ hers. “You survived shit that woulda broke anybody else. You stronger than all them lies they made you believe.”
I kissed her tears, kissed the softness under her eye, and kissed the side of her mouth.
“You with me now,” I whispered. “You with a nigga who will kill behind you. You with a nigga that don’t play about you, and who gon’ love you the way you always deserved.”
Her hands slid to my cheeks. Her thumbs wiped my face even though I wasn’t the one crying.
“I don’t wanna lose you,” she whispered, her voice terrified, but honest.
“You not,” I said. “I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I don’t give a fuck what come our way. It’s me and you. You hear me.”
Her lips parted, and she clung to me like I was savin’ her life.
“It’s me and you, Toni,” I whispered again. “Forever if you’ll have me.”
Her whole body gave out then, meltin’ underneath me, her heart finally lettin’ itself be held. I stayed inside her, holdin’ her like the world couldn’t touch her.
‘Cause right now…it couldn’t.
We laid there like this the whole night with my dick in her, tangled up in each other, the room smellin’ like weed, sex, and skin. It was the type of peace I never thought I would find right here in my arms, and her name was Toni Roc.
Halo Key
Today, me and Lyrick were on our way to our baby shower, thrown by his family. The ride felt light, and that meant something to me. My hands rested on my belly, rubbing the little kicks that came every few minutes. Preslan was moving more these days, and full of life already. I smiled thinking about how wild he’d probably be once he got here.
Motherhood had changed me in ways I couldn’t even put into words. It wasn’t just the cravings, the swollen ankles, or the endless doctor visits. It was how I saw life now, and how every little thing mattered in a way it didn’t before. Every appointment taught me something new. I’d been going to prenatal yoga twice a week, learning how to breathe through discomfort and calm my mind. The nurses said I was doing great, and my doctor toldme that my baby was strong. Every ultrasound made my heart melt. The sound of his heartbeat was like music, and when they showed me his little hands and feet on the screen, I always cried.
I’d started journaling after my third appointment, writing down every symptom, every craving, and weird dream I had. Some nights I’d sit in bed with my hand on my belly and talk to Preslan about everything. I told him how much I loved him already, and how I promised to do right by him no matter what. Sometimes I would talk about things that scared me too, like not knowing if I’d be a good mother.
The books I’d been reading said that babies could hear their mother’s voice after twenty weeks, so I started playing music around the house, talking to him like he was already here. I even walked along the beach in the mornings when it was quiet, letting him feel the peace I was trying to find. My doctor said walking was good for the baby, so I did it every day. Some days I’d stop at this little café near the water, order a fruit smoothie, and just sit there with my thoughts, rubbing my belly like it was the only thing grounding me.
I won’t lie, though. Being pregnant wasn’t easy. I had nights where I couldn’t sleep, days where my back ached so bad I’d just cry in the shower, and moments when I felt so emotional I didn’t even recognize myself. But every kick reminded me that it was worth it. I was bringing life into the world, and that made all the pain and doubt fade away.
Even though I was happy, part of me still felt alone sometimes. I pictured what it would’ve been like to have my mama with me at the appointments, and holding my hand when I saw the heartbeat for the first time. Or my dad sitting beside me when I learned the gender. But I didn’t have that, and I learned to stop waiting for it. I had Lyrick now. He was there for every appointment, sitting in the chair next to me, his hand resting on my thigh, whispering that everything would be okay.
He was so proud to be a father, and I loved watching him get excited. He talked to my belly every night. He downloaded baby apps, researched every little thing, and told everyone that his son was going to change the world.
When we pulled up to the hall, I couldn’t stop staring. Everything looked perfect. The decorations were beautiful with soft baby blues mixed with gold and ivory. The entrance was lined with white roses, and a balloon arch shaped like a crown framed the door. Inside, the walls were draped with silk fabric and fairy lights that made the room glow like a dream. The tables were covered in crystal centerpieces, each one holding blue orchids floating in tall glass vases. There was a dessert table with gold trays stacked high with cupcakes, chocolate-covered strawberries, and little jars of honey labeled “Sweet Baby Preslan.”
