Page 67 of Cedar Edge
“Don’t sound so shocked.” he snorts. “But yeah, I like the feel of it too.”
The words have me spilling more. “You know, Ace stole something from me when I first came here. And he told me that my blood and pain belong to him.” Logan pauses, eyes tracking to me again. The gun hovering above my skin. “But I wonder if perhaps they belong to you too.”
Logan leans towards me and claims my mouth with a hard kiss. “You belong to all of us.” He says as he pulls back finally, leaving me breathless. “But if you need someone to hold that blood and pain and Ace isn’t around? I’ve got a needle with your name on it, Tink.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
“Death and healing commonly walk hand-in-hand.”
-Fez Inkwright,Botanical Curses and Poisons: The Shadow Lives of Plants-
Ace
Smoke clogs the air around me as I swipe at the sweat dripping down my brow. The water I had dumped over my head a few moments ago did little to cool me off, but it helped keep me alert at the very least. I had been on the front lines for what felt like weeks when in reality it had probably only been twenty-four or forty-eight hours. When you're up against an out of control inferno, time seems to lose meaning. And all of it was time away from the house.
“Yo, Ace! We are heading out in ten!” The rookie, whose name I can’t remember, yells at me from across the shit hole camp site. His over eager grin makes me want to chuck the canteen in my hand at his head. Instead, I manage a slight head tilt towards him to acknowledge I heard him.
“He’s a good kid but way too eager.” Chief sits down next to me with a thud before handing me the flask he always has onhim. That over eager kid is one of the few ‘normies’ on the team, the ones who are here tojustfight fires. Unlike myself and the man next to me.
I snort, shaking my head before grabbing, what I know will be Kentucky Bourbon, and taking a long swig. “You know they frown upon drinking on the job.”
“They frown upon a lot of things we do, Ace.” I hand the flask back to him. His southern drawl is almost gone, only a hint from what it used to be. When I was first brought onto his unit I had taken one look at the beefy man and had wanted to be transferred. He looked like a retired military general who had one too many beers on the golf course. I learned real quick Chief was someone you didn’t fuck with.
“And yet here we are, doing the lord's work as they say.” I counter, my tone dripping with sarcasm.
He chuckles deeply and passes me the flask again. It’s a ritual of sorts, on jobs like these. Chief and I sitting on the outside of the group, passing the flask back and forth until we split off and the blood starts pouring. Not every fire we are on ends in bloodshed but recently most of them do. The Fallen is tricky like that. Who knew wildland firefighters would make great assassins?
I watch the guys move about, the exhaustion is clear as day on their faces. It’s one I used to be able to say I’d never experienced. I loved being out on the job. It was the perfect escape from the demons that haunted me. At least before Thea. Now I just wanted to be home. Buried between her thighs. “That’s a devilish look on your face.” Chief looks at me from the corner of his eye. “Anything to do with the pretty little thing that showed up at your house?”
My body goes rigid, the world going from loud to quiet as I slowly turn my body towards the man. “What the fuck you talking about, old man?”
Chief raises an eyebrow at me in something akin to shock. He whistles low as he hands me the flask again. “You're in deep Ace. You need this more than I do.” This time, however, I don’t take the offered alcohol. After a moment Chief shakes his head and tucks the liquor away. “You’ve got some powerful people poking around right now kid. Asking all sorts of questions and offering up a lot of fucking money to anyone who talks.”
I don’t need him to tell me who is asking. I know the piece of shit who is hunting her. Royce wants her back almost as much as he needs oxygen to breathe. Just because he hasn’t made a move since the fucking break in doesn’t mean he isn’t lying in wait.
I try to calm my body down, the rage and need to kill burning through me. “Anyone answering his questions?” I manage to bite out through clenched teeth.
“Not yet but you know how this works. It won’t take long.”
I turn to face him fully. “Why are you telling me this Chief?” While he and I are close, it's only because we’ve been together the longest. It’s not because we are actually friends.
He drags his hand down his face, a strange haunted look going over his eyes. “I’ve known men like him my whole life. I’ve watched them take, and take and take until there is nothing left.” He pushes to a stand but I don’t miss the grief in his voice or eyes. “I like you Ace. I think you are one of the few good ones in this world.” He claps me on the shoulder before squeezing it.
“Why do I feel like this is goodbye?”
Chief takes a long moment, looking out at the ash-covered world around us. “You know why Ace.” He lets go of my body but doesn’t move away from me, not yet.
I tilt my head back, eyes gazing up at the haze and ash still in the sky despite the fire being generally contained. My hand drops into my pocket sweeping against the reaper mask, the feel of it is both soothing and somehow terrifying. But it’s always been that way with this… this part of who I am. I both love andhate how the blood feels on my hands. The dance I do with the shadows can bring relief at the same time it can feel like it is going to devour me. It’s a delicate balance between allowing the shadows to consume me and reminding myself I have people to go home to.
There have been moments in this job I could have, by all rights, walked away. The debt had been paid, the jobs done, and yet I lied to everyone. Including myself. But standing next to Chief, the truth of it all hovering between us, and Thea safe at home, I can’t shake the feeling that this is it. And something about that fucking terrifies me.
Chief must sense the internal struggle I’m having because he lets out a sigh. “Take care of that family of yours Ace.”
“That’s not fucking ominous.” I spat.
He shakes his head. “You know there are only two ways to leave this.”
“Death or Release.”
