Page 40 of The Price of Mercy
So fucking unsure.
I clench my eyes shut, but I can’t block her out. A shiver of temptation threatens to unravel everything I’ve worked so hard to maintain. I shouldn’twantanything else, because I don’tneedanything else. But the depths of my soul disagree. I quiver beneath Mercy’s touch—all at once soothing and suffocating—and want to scream. I bite down on her shoulder and do just that, pouring my frustration into her bloodstream. The copper tang of her blood fills my mouth as I break the skin, but I don’tlet go. I sink my teeth in deeper, wanting her to feel my pain. Needing to let some of it go—to share it with whoever the fuck I can. Otherwise, I’ll drown. I’ll sink to the bottom of the ocean where Kane’s light can’t reach. He’ll forget about the anchor that’s been holding him down all these years and fly so high that he’ll catch fire and burn alive, laughing as the flesh melts from his bones and he forgets how much I need him to survive.
Life isn’t worth it if I have to walk alone.
Mercy’s voice floats through the murky waters of my mind. “When my brother was first admitted to the hospital—” Her voice catches. “I fought the people who were trying to help him, because I’d already lost my mom, you know? I didn’t want to lose him too. I was scared.” She runs her fingers through my hair, soothing me as best she knows how. “So that feeling you have—the one that tells you to fight for Kane? It’s okay. I understand what that’s like.”
A cruel bitterness creeps up my spine. I unlatch my teeth from her shoulder and lick the blood from my lips. What’s the point in telling me any of that?
Mercy’s smile is strained. “Zane, I—I forgive you.”
Dark laughter crackles inside my chest. “You stupid girl. You stupidfuckingwhore.” I can’t help but snarl, spitting flecks of bloody saliva onto her skin. “I don’t want your forgiveness!” I fight my bindings, not caring how badly it hurts. Mercy weighs me down enough to keep the chair from toppling over, but I crave the crash, knowing that I’ll take her down with me. I don’t deserve her compassion. I don’t want her understanding. I want her pain and her fury and her anguish. That’s what I’ve been waiting for. The punishment. All of my selfishness is bound to catch up with me, so why not now?
My eyes latch onto the darkness in Kane’s gaze. “If you want to fuck her—” Bitterness seeps out of my pores as I start to sweat. “—go right ahead!”
Maybethat’sthe punishment I deserve. My entire world collapsing.
There’s a roar from the other side of the room. “Don’t you touch her!” The four poster bed creaks as Sam struggles to free himself.
Laughing, I lean back far enough to stare into Mercy’s eyes next. They’re blown wide, the shock freezing her in place. “What’s wrong, Kitten? Isn’t that what you’ve wanted?” I lick my lips and swallow her blood on my tongue. “Kane’s fat cock splitting you open?” Another laugh spills free, cracking the chambers of my heart apart. “I hope you choke, you fucking bitch.”
A flash of pain, sharp and hot, hits me like lightning. My head whips to the side as Mercy slaps me. One of her fingernails cuts my cheek, and the sting makes me laugh even harder. That’s right. Hate me. Make me bleed. Let me taste your fury so that I don’t have to feel my own self-loathing. I drag in a lungful of air just in time for her to grab my face. Her fingers dig into my stinging cheek. I smile against the warmth of her hand.
“I forgive you.” The fire in her eyes suggests otherwise, but she says the words anyway. Then repeats. “I forgive you, Zane.”
My voice muffles. “Stop?—”
“I forgive you.”
“Shut up!”
“I forgive you.”
“Shut the hell up!”
Kane’s hand appears between us and covers Mercy’s mouth. He hovers intimately behind her back, but his eyes don’t leave mine for a single second. “You’re an asshole,” he grumbles, “but you’remyfucking asshole. I know who you are, Zane Hunter. I’ve always known.” He brushes his lips across Mercy’s cheek. “Now she does too. You scared, Siren?”
She shakes her head.
He grins. “See? You’re a goddamn mess, but we can live with that.”
Sam’s voice rumbles across the room. “I fucking can’t!”
“He’ll come around.”
“Like hell, I will!”
Kane rolls his eyes. “Shut the fuck up, Wright.” Kissing Mercy’s cheek, he backs up and lifts her off of my lap. “Go soothe your boyfriend, and I’ll soothe mine.”
I watch Mercy stand on her tiptoes and kiss Kane’s jaw before she flits away to the other side of the room and climbs into Sam’s lap, wrapping her body around his exactly like she had mine. I stare at them and see a mirror image of myself in Sam—muscles tight, face red, so fucking angry that he can’t contain it anymore. His emotions radiate off of him so strongly that I’m convinced he’s going to lash out… until all of a sudden, he goes perfectly still.
Mercy’s kissing him so tenderly that he breaks.
“Eyes on me,” Kane murmurs, grabbing my chin and forcing my gaze away. He kneels at my feet and places his warm palms on my trembling thighs, gently rubbing my tired muscles. “How do you feel?”
I choke on a sob as a wave of emotion crashes over me. Shaking my head rapidly, I stare at my partner until he blurs from the stupid tears in my eyes. “I can’t—I can’t keep doing this.”
Kane uses the knife Mercy dropped to cut the ties around my ankles and rub my tender skin. “Then don’t.” Once he’s satisfied, he moves on to the next set around my knees, slicing through them like butter. Then he unties a strip of knotted rope around my waist and pulls it away. “You’re only miserable because you want to be.”
