Page 42 of The Price of Mercy
Her words hit me square in the chest. I wish I could hold her, but more than that, I wish that I agreed with her. Swallowing, I choose my next words carefully. “I shouldn’t have left you alone.”
“You didn’t. We were pulled apart.”
I find it hard not to argue, so I change the subject. “What did you ask Zane?” If I were running the interrogation, I would have beat the shit out of him before I asked any questions. That was my half of the plan, anyway, before Kane intervened. I understand his caution, especially now that I overheard Zane’s shouting. I don’t know that I would have stopped myself from giving Zane a broken nose or cracked tooth.
Mercy pushes herself up and wraps her arms around my neck. “That doesn’t matter right now. I also need to… apologize.” Biting her lip, she meets my gaze. “I realized while I was talking to Zane—no, before that, actually. For a while now.” She takes a quick breath. “I… I haven’t been fair to you, and I’m sorry. You’ve been trying to help me this entire time. You didn’t even have to, you know? You could have walked away weeks ago.” A tiny laugh floats past her lips. “Instead, you’re wrapped up in all this... chaos. I wouldn’t blame you for leaving.”
Does she not understand how I feel about her?
As gently as I can, I lean forward and brush my lips over her cheek. “What kind of ideas did he put into your head?” Sighing, I press our foreheads together. “Do you remember the first thing you ever said to me? The day we met. You were wearing this…” I smile at the memory. “Frilly thing. Like a turtleneck. But see-through.”
“A lace halter top?”
I don’t know what it’s called. I just know what I saw—an angel shepherding lost souls. My dad had just dropped me off for my first group counseling session, and as people wandered through the double-doors into the conference room, Mercy and her father were there greeting everyone. “Before the session started, you were handing out flyers for the Christmas party. You said, ‘none of us want to be here, but sometimes, it’s better thangoing home.’ We’d only just met, and you pinged me on the spot. I never wanted to go home again. I wanted to be next to you.”
In fact, every chance I got to sit by her during our sessions, I did. She didn’t say much, but whenever her neighbors would share a personal story or challenge they were facing, she’d whisper to them afterwords and offer what few words she could. More than once, people cried. Mercy was a constant source of comfort for them, and she became a beacon of hope for me.
A light in the dark.
“So telling me that I should leave or that you haven’t been fair to me isn’t going to work. You can’t push me away. I’m in this with you, Mercy.” I brush my lips over hers, hoping that she’s listening. “Life isn’t fair, so why should we be?”
“Sam—”
I kissed Mercy in the shower this morning, but I wasn’t paying enough attention. I should have been memorizing the taste of her lips. Counting the heartbeats. Anticipating the flutter of her eyelashes. Basking in the warmth of her skin. I can’t touch her like I want right now, but I cantasteher, and it will have to be enough.
Catching her off guard has its perks. She jumps like I’ve startled her, but all that does is make me chase her lips. The thrill of wanting and being unable to take is an unexpected rush. All I have are the barest of touches as our lips brush again and again. “Mercy,” I rasp, kissing the far edge of her lips, the curve of her chin, the tip of her nose. “Mercy, baby, come here.” I twist my wrists in a desperate attempt to pull them free. “I need you.”
“You do?”
I smile against her cheek. She should know that by now. “I’ve always needed you. Even when we grew apart, I thought of you every day.” The bruise I left on her neck is still there, but I suck on it to ensure it stays. Mercy gasps, trembling as she grinds down on my lap. I don’t know if she realizes what she’s doing,but she starts rolling her hips like she does, capturing my cock right where we both need it.
“I need you too.” She cups my face and sighs against my lips. “Sam, I—I’ve been so scared that I’m going to lose you.” Shaking her head, she nearly laughs. “That you’ll realize I’m not worth the trouble. I know I ask a lot of you. Even this morning, in the shower, I—” Her breath catches. “I know that it isn’t fair.”
I’ve reached a point in my life where fairness is overrated.
“Fuck being fair.” Finally, one of my wrists slips free. I cup the back of Mercy’s head and crash against her lips. She whimpers, and I greedily swallow the sound.Thiskiss, I won’t forget. Her hands tug on my shirt until she pulls it over my head. When it gets stuck on my arm, she lifts onto her knees and reaches up to untie my wrist. As soon as I’m free, I cup her face and bring her back down onto my lips. She moans when I slip my tongue into her mouth and deepen our kiss.
I try to lift my knees and one of my legs snags on the tie around my ankle. Shit, I’m still tied down. What’s worse: we have an audience. I don’t sacrifice a single second of this moment to look at Kane or his psycho boyfriend, but I can feel the heat of their stares. They’re going to see Mercy naked if we continue like this. I’ve had sex in front of a few of my fraternity brothers once on a dare, so it’s not like I’m in completely foreign territory with two other men in the room—but for Mercy, all of this is new. She deserves rose petals and romance, not a lecherous late night show.
Even what happened in the shower this morning, despite the experience being new for all of us, was a step too far in the wrong direction. She deserves better than what we’ve given her so far.
“Mercy—” Her hands find my belt and she fiddles with the clasp. I have to grab her wrists to stop her. “Wait. We’re not alone.”
“We’re not,” she agrees immediately, “but it’s okay, Sam.” Abandoning my belt, she lifts onto her knees and climbs higher up my thighs, easily slotting her core against the length of my cock straining against my jeans. Her breath ghosts across my cheek as she hooks her arms around my neck. Our eyes meet, and the sweetest lie falls past her lips. “I’m all yours.”
Bittersweet agony claws at my heart, but I won’t deny her what she wants a second time. I already regret how things went down in her bedroom after she begged me to sleep with her. I can’t turn her down now. I’ll do my best to make her feel like this moment is perfect.
If wrapping her in my arms is second nature to me, kissing her becomes my new ritual. I start at the hollow of her throat, taking my time as I pepper the barest of kisses along her collarbone, the tips of her breasts, the length of her jawline. Her breath catches as I brush my thumb over her nipple, teasing it into a tight bud beneath her shirt. This isn’t how I imagined our first night together, but if this is it—if she can’t wait anymore—I’ll make the most of what I’ve been given and drag out every second as long as possible.
…which is made much more difficult when Mercy squirms on top of me. I hold my breath as I squeeze her breast, and she shudders from head to toe, wiggling her hips unconsciously. Is she trying to speed things along? Does she need me to touch her elsewhere? Am I hurting her?
Pinching her nipple, I revel in the way she whines.
No, she’s not in pain. She’s a needy little thing.
I can’t help but smile as she winds her fingers in my hair andpulls. The pain is nothing compared to the heat of her lips on mine.
“Don’t tease me,” she pants, sucking my bottom lip into her mouth.
