Page 22 of Always
“Sabrina knows, Amourette. That’s why she’s been so…”
“Sassy.” Raven interjects before I have the chance to sayflippant and callous.
While I do enjoy Sabrina as both my patient and Little Bird’s best friend… she’s been a fucking nightmare. Threatening to sue us for a multitude of different reasons. Her favorite beingneglect. I believe both Parker and Maksim are making sure Sabrina feels anything but neglected as she tends to whine. I’m sure it’s adorable to them.
To me… it is… not.
Raven gets out of her seat and I scoot my chair back so she can sit in my lap. Her arms go around my shoulders and she kisses me softly, still tasting of cheesecake and strawberry wine. Her new favorite. I place my hand on the flare of her hip. “Yes. And she also understands. So… with that being said, now that you know half of it- are you happy?”
“Yes! W-when d-do we leave?”
“Thursday evening and we’ll be back the following weekend,” I proceed, pulling back to meet her honey stare. “Are you ready to marry us? Even if it’s not a grand, lavish wedding?”
The radiant smile that breaks over her face is one I will remember forever. How can so much beauty be in just one person? From her heart to her face. “M… more than anything.”
I brush her silver strands behind her ear and rub my thumb over the smooth skin of her cheekbone. So many years I lived thinking I was fine, confined in my own self-made box of routine and self-discipline, never toeing outside of the lines, only having sex when the need for release striked, never exactlywantinga relationship or asking for more than what I wanted from a woman and yet, here I am now- acutely and remarkably fucked forthiswoman, ready to marry and breed her.
My love, my love,mylove.
Iconoclast of psyche and soul. My little harbinger of death and devotion. A curious little thing. Free of my cage but freed me of my glass confinement box in the process as well. I am so, so,sofucked and yet, I amexactlywhere I want to be.
“Then it’s settled.” I lean in to kiss her once more and she hums happily, as though my heart is all she’s ever needed to fly.
Then again, all I’ve ever needed to feel normal, is hers.
The day of our wedding consists of a secluded location on a beach in Tibet, Maverick and Jonas standing beside me. Our parents, his sister, brother-in-law, nephews and Enrique, are all here as our witnesses. Then, of course, there is an officiant and a photographer.
Raven strides to us barefoot in a loose, lacey white halter dress with a slit on one side. The train of it trails behind her. Her makeup is flawless, her signature winged eyes are perfection and her hair is loosely curled and pinned up on one side, a gentle breeze swiftly caresses her but she grins even wider, small tears rolling down her face. She holds a bouquet of spider lilies, snap dragons, carnations and baby’s breath. A string-quartet rendition ofI Don’t Want To Miss A Thingby Aerosmith (Jonas’ request) and the waves crashing ashore are the soundtrack of our future.
I feel as though I am being serenaded and can almost hear her rasp as she mouths the words.
All of her. Body, heart, mind, soul… last name.
That is precisely what I want. What Ineedin order to feel satiated and yet… yet I want more of her. What is this love? What is this hunger? This desire to forever dissect her and consume every breath of hers? I am but a madman obsessed with the way she makes me feel. Every ventricle of my heart, every wrinkle in my brainisher.It is insanity as much as it is pacifying.
Blurring, silent tears escape and rain down my face. I have to wipe them away quickly so I can take in this sight of her and commemorate it.
My heart hammers against my ribcage like a tiny bird trying desperately to escape. Even if it did, it would only sail far enough to perch upon her shoulder.
With so much love and adoration in those beautiful amber eyes of hers, she reaches us, then puts her hand in ours one by one; Maverick, Jonas, then mine in greeting. It takes me a moment to compose myself. How am I so lucky? I swallow thickly and sniff. “Hello, Amourette.”
My mother takes her bouquet, kisses Raven gently on the cheek, which Raven returns, and sits back down beside my father. After a few more minutes of staring at each other, Raven finally wipes at her eyes, grinning once again, meeting all of our gazes. She stretches her hands out for me to hold and I take them. She doesn’t look nervous. She looks fearless and ready.
Ready to be mine in every way imaginable.
The officiant begins just as any other does, but I’m lost in the aura that is she- Raven Oliva Monroe- my everything. I barely register the officiant’s words until I feel Jonas tapping me on the shoulder, signaling me to begin my vows.
“Amourette,” I choke on the intense, raw emotion caught in my throat. I try to swallow it down again but when her eyes lock on me… I inhale deeply, lick my bottom lip and try again. I look towards the sky to gather some type of strength. “Inever knew how lonely this world could be until I met you-” I sniff. “Fuck.”
She giggles, Jonas and Maverick chuckle behind me and so does our family.
“So many years I watched you sit in your silence and I was given the privilege of sitting with you. But your silencespoketo me. It was loud. So loud at times it was all I could hear. I thought of you as a little bird trapped in my cage, but it was me- unaware of my own glass confinement box until you tapped upon the glass, dared to peek inside and sawme. You make me feel and see… everything…” I sniff. “And because of that… I promise you not just my love, but my utter devotion. I vow to sit with you in your silence, because your love…” I choke on a rasp. “Because your love… is loud and it is…everything. I vow… to take care of your beautiful heart and your precious mind.”
She drops my hands and cups my face, running her thumbs under my eyes. Her lips purse and her cheeks hollow but I wait patiently as she forms her words. I would wait forever. She swallows and her shimmering eyes search mine. “Mon… ancre…” heranchor…that’s how she sees me. “My mind… is… a turbulent sea… and I was under-” she grimaces but I wait for her beautiful mouth to open for me again- “for so long I thought I was… gone.”
I shake my head at her, heart stilling, lungs barely working, but she nods up at me, taking her hands away from my face and lifts them between us.You told me you treat me like you love me because I deserve to be treated like you do. Every day you prove it even when I’m lost at sea.She juts her chin towards the ocean but still does not take her gaze off of mine.I vow to choose us, every day, despite whatever comes our way. I vow my heart and my devotion. I vow to fight for us, and to not let the current take me because I know you’re waiting for me.“Je jure de t'aimer toujours.”I vow to love you always.
And it’s more than enough. Her lips part but I haul her to me, cradle the bottom of her skull with one hand, the other on her hip, and cover her mouth with mine. When we break apart we’re both breathless. “Toujours, Amourette.” I murmur against her lips.
