Page 32 of Always
I shove my face into his neck and take a few shuddering, calming breaths, letting my limbs fall limp at Damon’s scent in my nostrils and lungs. But the tears still fall. They still crash. “I w-was doing s-so good.”
“You arestilldoing good, Little Bird. You are still…you. The you I love. The you Imarried. The you I will love far beyond eternity.”
“She said-”
“I know what she said and I’m telling you none of it is true, Amourette. I will not let you repeat any of those horrific words.” He growls firmly, no longer using his doctor’s voice. “Christ, if anyone should have never become a mother let it be known it’s Sofia fucking Monroe.”
I let out a hiccupping sigh as he loosens his grip around me. Embarrassed, I brush my hair out of my face and behind my ear. “Need… to be alone.” I rasp, still unwilling to look at them.
Damon’s chest rumbles with a deep, unhappy growl. “Fine. But I’m leaving the door unlocked.” He thrusts one arm under my bent knees, the other cradling my back, impressively gets to his knees without a grunt and stands, setting me down in the bathtub. “And just so you know, I was quite excited to get into this tub with you and get you all kinds ofsudsyand different kinds ofwet.”
I bite back my whimper but I do shiver even though I’m in warm water.
He hums, placing a kiss to my temple. “I love you, Amourette. Toujours. Andneverforget my vow, Raven. Your precious mind is as mine to care for as your heart, your body and your soul. I take my job very seriously, as you know.”
I sigh at that and finally look up to see those twin silver flames of his staring back at me, heart caught in my throat. With wet hands I reach up to touch him. “Mon Ancre.”
He kisses my thumb then nips at it, standing to leave me be. The door closes behind him and I stand in the water, carefully getting out of the tub and to the full length mirror in the corner to stare at myself. From my ankle where the bottom of my tattoo begins, to my leg where the vines crawl over the surgical scars left behind where my leg was broken you can’t see even though Ifeelthem. My eyes slide up the side of my thighs where my quads are defined.Strong. Next I look at my hips, my stomach, the silver scar where I was stabbed. I turn to the side to look at the #19 tattoo on my ribcage- the same place where Jonas has his Syndicate brand- below the heart.
I raise my arms, a little flabby but show signs of muscle from over a decade of playing cello and currently a little more refined from working out with Jonas.Strong. I turn forward and gander at my breasts, my clavicles, my chin, lips… and I settle on the scar at my temple, where silver hair like the silver scar there sprouts.
That was it. I tell myself.That was the last time you hate yourself for what was done to you. It is the last time you see your body and not love it. Soon, there will be a baby in here-I place my hands on the swell of my stomach-and it will change again and you will love the changes it brings. Maybe not during and maybe not all of them… but the changes mean you’rehappy. And you deserve that. Besides, Sofia won’t be alive much longer… she’ll never get inside of your head again.
I turn away to go back to the tub but see Jonas peering at me from the doorway curiously. He steps inside, closing the door behind him again and approaches me with caution. His big hands find purchase on my hips. Where I want to squirm and get away from his touch, I don’t let myself. Jonas loves me with a pure intensity. Unconditional and wholly. I deserve that, too. Just like he doesn’t deserve to be rejected just because I currently hate myself. So I stay where I am, allowing myhusband to love me just a little harder. “Do you see it now, baby?”
“Tr-trying to,” I reply softly.
“Get in the bath. I’ll remind you later.” He kisses my cheek and then lowers his voice. “By the way, I’m totally ruining the next surprise ‘causeIpromised no more surprises. Maksim called Maverick while we were dancing at our reception. He invited us to his family’s villa in Verona and that’s where we’re going on Wednesday so we can spend the weekend with Bri. Okay? So, act surprised when Maks calls again to invite us.”
I scowl then put my hands to my cheeks and make a surprise face.
Jonas laughs. “Yeah, but a little better than that. That was reallyHome Aloneso tone it down a little.”
I glare at him.
He laughs again, puts his hands up in surrender and walks backwards. “Okay, okay, I’m going. I love you.”
“My soul.” I call after him in a hoarse whisper. For a moment, I think he doesn’t hear me as his fingertips touch the knob of the door. He stands to his full height then turns to face me.
Sunset eyes lock with mine. “My heart, baby.”
Chapter Fifteen
Damon.
I stay behind while Maverick and Jonas go down to the cafe of the hotel and my little bird is resting. Standing at the doorway, I stare at her almost-naked form strewn across the lavish bed, sound asleep. The duvet is tucked between her thick, creamy thighs, hiding her pussy from me. Well, the blanket isoneof the things hiding her from me. The other, is a very simple black, cotton, high-waisted thong that sits high on her luscious hips.
As soon as she had it on, I wanted to tear it off with my teeth.
My ire, my anger is pointed at the woman who made this woman,mywoman, and made her doubt not just herself, but my love for her.
And I can’t have that.
No… see, my little bird deserves to know exactlyhow Ifeelfor her. She needs to feel how demented I really am for my wife.
I have decided to take a page out of Maverick’s book. It’s time Ishowher because it is quite obvious words are not working. And that just won’t do. She needs to trust not only in her husband but in her doctor. It’s imperative I remedy this.
Immediately.
