Page 140 of Knot So Lucky
Elias shifts slightly, careful not to disturb the kitten on his chest. "I was tempted to sleep in the bed with you," he admits, and there's vulnerability in the confession. "But now that your heat is done, I actually wanted to formally ask if that would be alright."
I blink, processing the words.
"You... wanted to ask permission?"
"Consent is a big deal to me." His green eyes are earnest, serious despite the sleepy haze. "I understand that with heatcircumstances, trying to be more civil about boundaries could have hurt your feelings or made things harder. Your biology needed what it needed, and being too formal about it would have been cruel."
He pauses, seeming to gather his thoughts.
"So I was more lax during the heat itself. Went with what felt right in the moment, followed your cues, tried to give you what you needed without overthinking it." His hand comes up to gently stroke the kitten's back, giving him something to do with the nervous energy I can see building. "But now that you're back to normal, now that you can make actual informed decisions without biological imperative overwhelming everything else... it's only fair that I ask properly."
The explanation makes my heart swell.
Because in my experience, Alphas don't think like this.
Don't consider consent beyond the bare minimum required to avoid legal trouble. Don't recognize that heat-driven consent and rational consent are different things that deserve different approaches.
Cale and Roran understand boundaries because I've beaten them into their heads over years of complicated dynamics. But even they slip sometimes, let their Alpha instincts override consideration when they're worked up.
Yet here's Elias, sleeping on the floor because he wanted to make sure I had the choice.
"Thank you." My voice comes out smaller than intended, thick with emotion I wasn't expecting. "Thank you for considering my consent as something important."
"Always." The single word carries weight, a promise rather than just acknowledgment.
I swallow hard, forcing down the complicated feelings threatening to overwhelm me.
"And thank you for putting up with my heat." The words feel inadequate for what he actually did, but I don't have better ones. "I know it couldn't have been easy."
Elias's smirk returns, less sleepy now, more knowing.
"That wasn't anything troublesome." There's heat in his voice, memories bleeding through that make my body respond despite the exhaustion. "Though I have to ask, how are you feeling? Physically, mentally, emotionally?"
The question is genuine, caring in ways I'm not used to receiving.
I take inventory, checking in with my body beyond the surface-level aches.
"Content," I say finally, surprised by how accurate the word is. "Like I can actuallythinkagain without everything being filtered through biological imperatives. My mind feels clear in ways it hasn't in... god, years maybe?"
It's true.
The constant low-level anxiety that usually accompanies my thoughts is just... gone. The hypervigilance about scent and presentation and maintaining the performance—all of it has quieted to barely noticeable background noise.
"I don't really feel off or odd like I normally did," I continue, trying to articulate something I don't fully understand myself. "It's like something that was broken has been fixed, but I didn't realize it was broken until now."
Elias's smile is soft, understanding.
"I may not know much about Omega biology…definitely not an expert there…but from what I understand, experiencing your first heat can actually recalibrate your system."
He shifts slightly, and the kitten meows in protest before settling again.
"Now that you've gone through it, now that your body has completed that biological cycle, you may not need thosesuppressants anymore. Or at least not at the doses you've been taking."
The suggestion makes me pause.
Not needing suppressants would be... what?
Liberating? Terrifying? Both?
