Page 39 of Worth the Scandal
And then without any warning I’m pressed against him, he stares dead pan into my eyes, and my stomach starts backflipping and bubbling,what’s he playing at.
“How about tonight we just hang out then? And I show you that I’m not just after a little fun.”
“Yeah, right because you’re a going to be able to resist all this” I prop my hands up under my chin all cute like. I feel kind of stupid about my outburst but seriously this is big for me.
“I promise not so much as a little tongue kiss, let’s just chill out watch a movie and talk life?”
“Hmm okay.” I push past him edging the rest of the wooden door open and take in Asher’s Bach pad. Surprisingly, it’s cosy, and decorated quite well. I expected immature man cave vibe that smelt like sex and whiskey. The Bach pads they warn you about on those rom com movies.
“Bathrooms this way, I’m still having a shower so you can watch or if you don’t trust yourself chill out here.” he gives me a playful wink and a grin.
“How about I give you a hand with that strapping? Deal still stands though, no kissing.”
He struggles to pull the edges up on the tape and looks over at me defeated “Done.”
“You got any oil?” I stalk toward the kitchen ready to investigate myself before he can answer.
“Huh what for? We are showering not cooking” his brows almost meet as he tries to work out what in the hell, I need oil for. Imagine all the dirty places his mind went,men.
“No you’re showering I’m watching and going to get that strapping off easy as! I’ve seen my mum do it a thousand times to dad…I mean I used to see her do it. But I’m telling you oil is the trick.” I skip over to raid his pantry and grab the oil. When I turn back around, he’s staring at me with a look I can’t quite place.
“What?!” I feel slightly self conscious; I’m being heavily assessed which is making my palms sweat—which I know is ridiculous with this man.
“Nothing I just, you’re just not what I thought you’d be” his eyes smile at me, and his mouth purses shut.
I brush past him with my index finger running along his collar bone “come on big boy, I’ve got a shower to watch” I clear my throat “and ditto.”
* * *
Asher keeps his word; we don’t so much as peck we just spend the night enjoying each other’s company learning more about who we are and what we want out of life. I take back what I thought when he said a bit of fun, this feels like anything but that.
“Why Dawson’s Ridge? Out of everywhere you could’ve signed, why here?” I rub my thumb across the back of his palm and watch his expression change. His eyes narrow and he stares off past the tv unit in front of us. He’s searching for the answer. When we first met, he didn’t strike me as someone living out here. Like sure the accent is country, bogan some might even say.
“It’s different out here. Quiet. Private. When I visited before signing, it just… felt right. Like I could breathe for the first time in months—you know after Ben and the stuff in Sydney.” He rubs his other hand across the short stubble growing across his chin. He looks down at me and a shy smile cracks over his face. “I didn’t know you’d be here eventually but, that’s a bonus, Scar.” For a moment I can feel the magnetic pull between us, and I swear he’s going to kiss me, he doesn’t. Instead, he keeps his word. His eyes quickly dart away from my lips and he’s staring back at the tv. “I love the country but, I grew up out bush with my uncle. That’s where the accent comes from, mum and dad weren’t around much when we were kids.” He pauses trying to figure out how to word what he says next. “They um, worked away a lot I guess you could say, so yeah Sydney’s never really felt like home, I moved back when I was about 13.”
“Well… I didn’t know you’d be here either.” I manage a smile, but it falters. “Makes Dawson’s a little more tolerable, that’s for sure.” I glance down, tracing the seam of the cushion. “I wasn’t sure how I’d feel being back without Mum. She was kind of the heartbeat of this place—well any place she went really.” My voice cracks ever so slightly but I don’t let the mention of mum break open the water works, I’m slowly leaning into the happy moments and it’s helping with the grief control. The thing I’m learning about grief is it doesn’t ever really leave, and you don’t just get over it—instead each day you just focus on the loss a little less and more on the time you did get and the memories you do have.
Asher leans his arm around the back of the lounge and cradles me into the side of his chest, leaning his chin on the top of my head. “Yeah, that’s how Sydney feels for me with Ben, it’s always hard being back there.”
We fall quiet, lost in our own thoughts. The kind you don’t say out loud. I haven’t watched any of the movie Ash put on.I’ve just been in the moment soaking this in, wondering if we could make this work and how this could be anything more than whatever it is right now.
He’s the first to break the silence. “Well, has tonight convinced you that it’s more than a little fun for me?” He is hopeful, and I hate to be the way I am but one night isn’t going to make me feel secure, it’s helped there’s no doubt. But after Jason did a number on me, I’m finding it harder to trust anyone, especially someone who’s line of work is rugby league.
Chapter Fifteen - Asher
I invited her over.
I invited Scarlett tomyhouse.
I went from nah, nah we can’t do this, to tell me to stop, to sex in the sheds under my name on the wall—to come to my house. I never have girls here. Not in this house. I’ve got that cold, barely-lived-in apartment in town for that. The one with just enough furniture to pass as clean and cool. It’s basically an Airbnb I sometimes pretend to live in.
When I first moved here, I brought a girl back to this house. Just once. She took it as an open invitation and started showing up whenever she felt like it. I hated that. Don’t come into my space unless I want you in my space.
And IwantScarlett here. Inmyspace.
Not just tonight. Not just for fun.
She’s not the groupie type. She’s seen the lifestyle, knows how it works. She doesn’t know how gone I am for her, though. Not really. I told her it was just a bit of fun, in front of Collins, like a fucking coward.
