Page 84 of The Mafia's Christmas Baby
He doesn't look at me, just stares into the dark screen of the television.
"I know," he says, his voice low.
"I mean it." I push on, the words feeling like shards of glass in my throat.
"This... tonight... it was everything. But it was a night before. Before we have to go back. We can't hide here forever, pretending the rest of the world doesn't exist."
He’s silent for a long moment, his jaw working.
"What if I want to hide?" he finally asks, his gaze shifting to meet mine. The raw need in his eyes is almost enough to shatter my resolve. "What if I just want to stay here with you?"
"Then we'd be living a lie," I whisper, my voice breaking.
"And what we just had... that wasn't a lie. That was the most real thing I've ever felt. We have to be brave enough to face what's out there."
He lets out a long, slow breath, a surrender to a truth he already knew.
He leans forward, resting his forehead against mine.
We stay like that for a long time, breathing each other in, the taste of chocolate and coffee and us mingling in the small space between our lips.
"Okay," he breathes, the word a vow and a lament. "Tomorrow. We go back tomorrow."
17
ELISA
Back in the city
We cross the bridge before dawn and slip into the outer lanes like we never left.
Nico changes cars twice.
He takes a longer route past the waterfront and checks the mirrors more than he speaks.
When we reach my block, he keeps rolling while I go up and pull the blinds.
He comes in a minute later with the bag from the cabin and sets it by the couch.
We don't unpack right away.
The air feels different, tighter at the edges, and I can feel both of us trying not to show it.
The new pattern looks like a life if you don't watch the corners.
I split my time between my place and his brownstone in Carroll Gardens.
A drawer opens up for my scrubs, another for a sweater and a pair of socks that always go missing in the dryer.
My toothbrush stands next to his in a glass that has a chip on the rim.
He insists on walking me to the hospital doors on early shifts and picking me up when the schedule lets him.
When it does not, a car I don't know sits down the block with the engine off.
He pretends it's not there.
I pretend I believe him.
