Page 17 of Be Your Forever
“What?” Bri asks, her voice still coated with sleep.
“You’re gorgeous, Bri.”
Bri gasps and bites her lip, a sign that she’s nervous. I rub my thumb against her lower lip, attempting to free it from its captor. About a million different emotions flash behind her honey-colored irises.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” I ask, not expecting an answer, but surprised when she lets me in.
“I’m embarrassed about yesterday. I, well…I don’t like people seeing me like that, so…” She averts her eyes, and I give her a moment to process what she wants to say.
“So weak and defective,” she finishes.
Well damn. Her words are a mallet to my heart, shattering it into a million pieces.
“Brianna, look at me,” I demand. When she refuses to do so, I grip her chin, forcing her eyes to meet mine.
“You arenotweak or defective. You are possibly the strongest woman I know. You went through something that could so easily destroy a person beyond repair. But you? You get up every damn day and carry on. That is one of the strongest and sexiest things you could do.”
“But sometimes I can’t even take a shower, let alone brush my teeth. I make cereal for just about every meal, and sometimes I wear days old sweats. How is that sexy or strong?”
“Bear, you’re healing. I know this is easier said than done, but you need to allow yourself some time. Some grace. But if you can’t do that, then let me help you carry some of the load. No one should have to carry the heaviness all on their own.”
She searches my face for what I assume is bullshit, but she won’t find any there. I mean every damn word I said. She’s quiet for a moment before she presses a gentle kiss on my chest, and I feel it everywhere.
“I might just take you up on it. Since you said you’d help carry some of the load, I was wondering if you could help me with something.”
“Anything,” I murmur.
“I need to go through my office and clear out all the books I have.”
Well, that wasn’t what I was expecting her to say.
“But you love to read. Why are you getting rid of them?”
That’s one of the things Bri and I have in common. It may have started out as me reading books to find a way to connect with her, but I’ve fallen in love with the hobby. Bri’s face always lit up whenever she would talk about a book she was currently reading. My Amazon recommendations have never been the same, and honestly? I love it. Who knew smut could be so informative?
“I don’t anymore. Well, that’s not entirely true. I just can’t bring myself to pick up a book. Not after everything that happened with Max and I—” Her voice tapers off, and there’s a look of pure horror written across her beautiful features.
“What does Max have to do with wanting to get rid of your books?”
“You don’t really want to hear all that.” She waves her hands in a desperate attempt to dismiss her feelings.
“Ialwayswant to hear what you have to say. If you’re open to sharing, I’m open to listening.”
Bri’s eyes begin to water, and my body shakes with how hard she’s crying, so I let her get it out. Whatever she’s holding onto has been building for months, and I’m glad she’s letting it out with me. She doesn’t have to share everything with me, but I feel like she’s letting me in. And that’s a gift I plan to cherish with my whole heart.
I hear her let out a shaky sigh, and I don’t let her go until she pulls away from me.
“Hey, you don’t need to tell me anything. This is your story to tell. You’re in control here.”
“No. I want to tell you. I just don’t want you to think I’m stupid. Logically, I know that how I’m feeling is irrational, but emotionally, I can’t wrap my head around that fact.”
“I willneverthink you’re stupid. Screw logical thinking. You’re allowed to feel how you feel.”
“Right. Well, you remember the accident?” When I nod my head, she continues.
“So, I’d been pestering Max to go axe throwing with me. It’s been on my bucket list for, like, ever. It took him a minute to agree, so when he finally caved, I booked the room right away.
“On our way to the place, Max and I were jamming in the car, reminiscing on our childhood memories. Despite his resistance, Max was excited to do this with me. He’s great that way. He’s always doing things for others just because it makes them happy. It’s one of the things I love most about him.” Bri’s face distorts with emotional pain, and it guts me.
