Page 93 of Be Your Forever
Why is it so loud?
The deep voice from earlier is more frantic and desperate. The sound feels closer now. I allow the soothing sound to wrap around me like my favorite blanket. Warm hands grip my shoulders, jolting me out of this nightmare.
“Bear? Can you hear me?” Asher’s voice is muffled, and some part of me feels his hands on my face. Asher pulls me into his arms, wrapping me tight. The pressure is a welcome sensation, like a weighted hoodie.
“Just follow my breathing. Focus on the rise and fall of my chest.” So that’s what I do. Asher knows telling me to breathe won’t work, so he has me focus on his breath. My ear is pressed against his chest, and I listen to the steady drumming of his heartbeat. It pulls me into a state of calmness like a lullaby does to a newborn baby.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
With each beat of his heart, I feel my frantic pace begin to slow. My mind continues to race, but everything around me begins to slow down. My heartbeat becomes the harmony to his, creating a symphony that steadies my entire being.
“That’s it, baby. Keep focusing on my breath. I’m right here with you. The sun is shining, the wind is blowing, and you are safe. Max is just inside waiting for you to run into his arms. You’re about to do a very hard thing, but everything will be okay. I know it.” If feathers had a voice, they'd sound like Asher, soft and smooth. My last deep breath comes out shaky, almost as if the fear is leaving my body.
When I pull back to look at him, I see love, support, and empathy swirling behind those beautiful, baby blue eyes. I’ve been in the dark for so long. Lost in a sea of endless gray until I saw a flash of blue over the horizon. The pull was too strong to ignore. Little did I know that bright blue color was pulling me out of the stormy sea and onto the shore, where for the first time in forever, I could breathe. The gray threatened to swallow me whole, but the blue was my guiding light, my savior.
I stare into those same blue eyes that saved me all those months ago, and I’m overcome with gratitude. It’s a warm light that spreads from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Asher is my saving grace, my hero, my everything.
I pull his lips to meet mine, pouring my heart and soul into the kiss. I’ve finally come to terms with everything that’s happened, and talking to Max is the final chapter of a book I’m ready to close and put back on my shelf. This book is one of many in the story of my life, and while this book was harder to get through, I did it. I not only survived, but I thrived.
I’m so wrapped up in Asher that I don’t realize his voice until a second later.
“Get a room, why don’t ya.” I pull away from Asher, and my eyes immediately fill with tears.
“Maxie…” His childhood nickname comes out in a whisper.
“Breezy.” Max’s voice comes out raspy.
“Say it again,” I plead, yearning to hear the sound of my childhood nickname. Thousands of sibling memories play out in my mind like a home movie, showcasing my favorite moments beneath a grainy, muted lens.
“Breezy…” I want to run into his arms, but I’m not sure if anything still causes him pain, and I’d rather not risk reinjury. Instead, I power walk toward him, wrapping my arms around him as tight as I can.
“Hi, Max.”
“Hi, Bri. Hey, Asher.” Oops, I forget he’s here for a minute, but being the supportive boyfriend he is, he doesn’t mind.
“Hey, Max,” Asher says, offering a nod of acknowledgement before turning to me. “I’ll be in the car. Text me if you need me.” I nod, and Asher turns around and walks to the car.
Max and I head inside and move toward his couch. Nothing has changed. His walls are the same dark gray as before, with a dark cherry hardwood flooring. His massive TV is the main focus of the living room, with a fireplace made of stone with family pictures along the mantel.
I’m staring at one of the two of us the night he graduated from high school. We decided to go hiking—his request, not mine. I remember that night like it was yesterday. We shared our dreams and aspirations while being content with just being in each other’s presence.
“Ah, that’s one of my favorite photos of us. You gave me so much shit for growing old. We’ll have to go hiking there again soon.”
And now I’m losing it, head in my hands, body shaking uncontrollably.
“Breez, hey, come here.” Max opens his arms, and I launch myself at him.
“I-I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault that you were in this situation in the first place. If I hadn’t convinced you to—” I’m surprised he’s able to understand what I’m saying with how hard I’m crying. Max stops me mid-sentence by pulling me into his arms.
“You arenotto blame for this. The only person who deserves the blame is the one who decided to drive drunk. I may have given you shit about going axe throwing, but I wanted to go. It was just more fun to fuck around. I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to force me.”
“I—You did? You wanted to go?”
“Hell yeah. Throwing axes while hanging with you? No brainer.” I feel the guilt slowly evaporate from my body like a rain puddle on a hot day.
“I just hate that you’re in pain when all I got was a minor concussion and a few scratches. You were in a coma, Max. How could Inotfeel guilty for that?”
“Did you force that woman to get behind the car while intoxicated?”
