Page 49 of Be Your Forever
“That fear is valid. This process can be a lot, but remember you are allowed to stop at any time. There is a whole protocol for this type of therapy, so I’d never throw you into it right away. Take some time to think about it more, and when you’re ready, we can start. And if you aren’t, then we goa different route, okay?” I adore my therapist. She never shames me for being hesitant about something, or needing to change the subject because it’s too much to handle at that moment. She’ll always circle back to it, but she usually switches up her approach which makes me grateful.
“Yeah, okay.”
“Good. So, how has the list been working for you? I love that you came up with this idea. It takes some of my clients years to get there, and yet, you did that all on your own.” After about my second or third session, I confessed that I made a list to find myself again, and she was so invested, we ended up talking about it our entire session. I love how she never forgets anything I say here. It makes me feel like I’m important to her.
“It’s good. I actually had a realization the other day about one of the items.”
“Oh?”
“So, I put it on my list to fall in love. I’ve always looked up to my parents and their relationship. They’ve always set a great example of how to treat the other, even if they were driving each other nuts. When I put that on my list, it was strictly to find someone who I could share my life with. But…”
“But?” Dr. Jacqui prompts.
“But I realized this entire time, that goal was meant for me to fall in love with myself.”
“Ah. And have you fallen in love with yourself?”
“I’m starting to.”
“Tell me more about that. What do you love about yourself, Bri?”
“I’m loud, and fun. I am full of life and energy, and I’m a great friend. I’m compassionate to those I care about and will do anything for them. But most importantly, I love my body. That one was the hardest for me. Going from slightly curvy to midsize hasn’t been easy. I’ve been learning to embrace my newfound curves, and I can’t imagine myself wanting to go back to who I used to be. It also doesn’t hurt when you have a man who spends every waking second telling you how amazing your body is.” I can feel my cheeks flush, especially when I think about everything we’ve done so far.
“Ah, yes, that does help. How are you and Asher?” It feels weird to admit this to my therapist before I tell him, but I need to talk it through.
“I’m in love with him.”
“I can imagine how wonderful that feels. Tell me more about that.”
“Well, he does whatever he can to make me happy. I mean, you remember what he did for me after my first therapy session. And then everything he did when we got to my place. He says the sweetest things to me, and he makes me feel important. He never judges me and offers to help carry my pain. He pays attention to me and loves on my body like his life depends on it. He even offered to help me with talking to my parents and Max when I’m ready.”
“Sounds like you found someone who respects you, and that makes me happy. I’m assuming you haven’t told him?”
“Not yet, but soon. I want to tackle things with my parents first before I do anything.”
“Speaking of, are you ready to see and talk to them?” I ponder her question for a moment.
Am I ready to see them? Will they hate me for months of radio silence? Will they ignore me like I ignored them?
I close my eyes and think about all the unanswered texts I’ve gotten. The last one stopped months ago, and it set me back a little in my healing journey.
(February 12th, 2026) Mom: Hi, sweetie, I hope all is well. I don’t know much about what’s going on. I talked to Avery and she said to just give you time, so that’s what your dad and I will do. We love you so much and it makes us hurt knowing you're in pain. We are always here. Whenever you're ready, we’ll be here.
(February 12th, 2026) Dad: What your mom said. We love you, bug. Take care of yourself.
I’ve typed out at least a million responses in my notes app, never gathering the courage to send it. Until now. Untilhim. His endless patience and support have allowed me the room to shake myself out of my cocoon and into a beautiful butterfly. I haven’t fully blossomed yet, but talking to my parents is the next step. Max will be harder to work up to, but I’ll get there. I know I can.
“Yes. I think I am. I was actually thinking of texting them now, if that’s okay? I’d really like the support.”
“Yes, of course. Go right ahead.”Breathe in. Breathe out. You got this, Bri.
Me: Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. I’m sorry it took so long for me to reach out. I wasn’t in the best place. I’m still working through a lot, but I’m a lot better now. I wanted to invite the both of you over for dinner at my place. I’m thinking this Saturday at six? I love you both so much, and thank you for giving me the space I need.
Mom: SWEETIE, oh it’s so good to hear from you. Your dad and I would love to have dinner with you. Please let us know if you want us to bring everything. I cannot wait to see you and hug you.
Dad: What Mom said. It’s good to hear from you, kiddo. Love you and can’t wait to see you.
Me: I love you guys, too. I should warn you, it won’t be just me at dinner. Asher will be joining us.
