Page 56 of Be Your Forever
She just had to have hammer pants
Thedoorbellrings,andI’m about to have a panic attack. I feel Asher’s arms circle around my waist as he presses a kiss to my shoulder.
“You got this. I’m right here with you. I love you.” I spin around in his arms and pull his lips to mine. Our lips move in a soft, slow rhythm, tongues dancing together in a graceful manner. I pour everything into this kiss, allowing my actions to speak for me.
“I love you, too.” Okay, it’s time. I move to the front door, stumbling around like a newborn deer. The second I open the door, my vision blurs.
“Mom. Dad,” I blubber, and if their arms didn’t wrap around me, I would have fallen to the floor. The three of us embrace each other while sobbing uncontrollably. I’ve missed them so much. The four of us have always been super close, practically doing everything together.
“I’m s-s-sorry. I’m so sorry. I let you both down, and I’m not sure how I’ll forgive myself. Especially after the way you helped me financially after everything. I-I’m s-such a b-bad d-daughter.” I’m full-on wailing now—I’m surprised they can even understand me at all.
“Sweetheart, no. You aren’t a bad daughter, and you most definitely haven’t let us down. We just want you to be okay. We love you regardless and we are just so happy you texted us back,” my mom assures me.
“Bug, you’ve been going through a lot. We understand that you needed space. So we gave it to you. We’re here now, that’s all that matters,” my dad adds.
“Hey, Bri. I’m gonna give you three some space. I’ll finish setting up dinner, why don’t you sit on the couch and let me handle everything else?”
“You don’t have to—”
“I think you need this time with your parents. I’m just a room away.” I nod, sending him my appreciation with my smile. My parents and I move over to the couch. It’s time to share everything I’ve been feeling.
“I, um. I promise I wasn’t trying to hurt you guys by shutting you out. I just couldn’t face you.”
“What do you mean by that?” my mom asks.
“I’m to blame for everything. If I hadn’t begged Max to go axe throwing, then none of this would have happened. I fucked up and everything in my life feels like it’s been flipped upside down. And then there’s you two.” I take a deep breath, trying to collect my thoughts. My emotions feel like they want to swallow me whole.
“What about us, bug?” my dad chimes in.
“You guys love Max. He’s your baby boy and I hurt him. I’m the reason he was in the hospital. You guys should hate me.” My voice cracks on the wordhate,and my mom gets up from her spot on the couch to pull me into her arms, rocking me back and forth.
“Shhh, honey. It’s okay. We don’t hate you; we could nevereverhate you. It breaks my heart that you’ve been holding onto all this guilt. You’ve been going through this all on your own?”
“In the beginning, yes. But then Asher came along, and he’s been really helping me. I’ve also been seeing a therapist who’s been really great with sorting through everything.”
“Brianna, that’s great. We also went to therapy right after everything happened. Your mom and I were struggling with each other for a while, so we decided talking to someone would be helpful.” My dad throws a curveball my way. Problems? I’m really trying not to feel guilty about this, too.
“What problems?”
“Well, we could have lost two children that day. It doesn’t matter that Max had more serious injuries, you got hurt, too. We weren’t dealing with our pain in a healthy way, so we just needed to sort things out. It’s not the first time we’ve been to couples counseling,” my mom adds to the conversation. My head is spinning with all this new information being thrown at me.
“You’ve had issues before?” I ask.
“Oh, honey, we've had our fair share of moments. We aren’t perfect, but we know that we love each other and there’s no other option but for us to sort it out. We care about each other too much to walk away.”
“Wow, you think you know someone.” We’re silent for a moment before we burst into manic laughter. I can feel my heart repairing itself just a little more.
“I just, I feel like I’ve just been a massive disappointment lately. I could barely get out of bed for months. I’ve lost a lot of myself in the process. I guess I didn’t want you guys to see me like that. I was a mess, and I’ve just recently started to feel like myself again.”
“You don’t always have to be okay, bug. Sometimes we need to break in order to come back stronger. You never have, nor will you ever be, a disappointment. Your mom and I don’t think so, and I can bet Asher doesn’t think so, either. You take all the time you need to find yourself, and we’ll be here for whatever you need.” My dad gets up to sit on the other side of me and presses a kiss atop my head.
“I love you guys so much. Never again will I shut you out. It’s been lonely.”
“We love you too, bug. Even if you need space, we’ll understand,” my mom says.
“Thank you. I don’t know about you, but I’m starved. Should we eat?” We get up and head to the table where everything is already set up. My eyes find Asher’s immediately, and my heart swells with love for this man. I can’t believe I held such a grudge against him all those years. All over some stupid shit Giselle pulled. He’s the most amazing man.
Asher pulls out my chair and presses a quick kiss on my lips before taking his place beside me. Dinner goes smoothly and it doesn’t feel like any time has passed between us. There’s lots of talking and laughter. And, of course, some embarrassing stories about my childhood.
