Page 77 of Be Your Forever
How am I feeling?
I sit in silence, processing everything that’s transpired within the last nine or so hours. If he had asked me the question last night, my answer would have been that I felt broken and hurt. Now? I feel a sense of determination looming over the horizon like a sunrise. I meant what I said last night. I think it’s time for me to talk to my brother. I’m no longer a puppet on a string, controlled by the hands of my depression. I’ve been reintroduced to myself, and I love who I see. She’s beautifully bold and has learned to fall in love with herself again. She’s accepted herself as is—which includes embracing every inch of her body. She’s learning to regain control over her life and taking risks. She’s beautifully me, and a big reason for it is the man standing in front of me.
“I think I’m okay. Yeah, last night was rough, and had you asked me yesterday, I would have had a completely different answer. Giselle is a miserable human who thrives off exploiting people’s insecurities, and honestly? I think she did me a favor. I’ve been succumbing to my fears and anxieties for way too long. And the only way for me to let them go is to face them head on. I’ve been avoiding Max for way too long. He’s the only person who can shut those fears down for good.”
“Bri, you are inspiring. I hope you know that. You’ve taken something traumatic and turned it into something beautiful. Sure, in the beginning you were struggling, a woman stranded in the middle of the ocean with nothing to cling to. Instead of letting yourself drown, you created your own life preserver and saved yourself. You are your own hero, Bri.”
Asher’s words rob me of breath and my eyes sting with unshed tears. Of all the things he’s said to me, this one hits different. I press rewind on everything that’s happened since Avery decided to crawl under the covers and hold me in her arms. I’ve credited a lot of my progress to her and Asher. Now, I’m looking at each scene through a new lens, and I see what Asher sees. True, they may have helped me heal, but the common theme in every image that flashes through my mind isme.Iasked for help.Istepped out of my comfort zone.Me.Idid it. My body shakes with happy tears.
“Baby,” Asher says before pulling me into his arms.
“I did it. I did this. I-I’m the reason I am who I am today. It’s all because of me.” My words and tears are free flowing out of me.
Mylife has felt like an endless thunderstorm, one after another flooding my entire life with pain and heartbreak. Now, in this moment, I see the rainbow peeking through, and its colors are intense and vibrant.
“You did it. I’m so proud of you.” Asher rubs soothing circles across my back, providing similar comfort to a mother rocking an infant to sleep.
“I’m proud of myself, too,” I admit, which has both of us laughing.
“I think we should probably eat breakfast now. Most of it is probably cold now, lukewarm at best.” Asher pulls out of my arms to grab plates on the counter to bring them over to the table. I hop off the counter to join him. Sounds of silverware clanking against plates fill the open kitchen in surround sound.
“So, I had an idea that I wanted to run by you,” I say in between bites.
“Lay it on me,” Asher replies before bringing a mug of steaming hot coffee to his lips. I’m momentarily distracted by watching his throat work as the liquid glides down his throat. I squeeze my legs together as I think about another warm thing sliding down my throat. Asher clears his throat, and my face heats.
“What are you thinking about?” Asher’s smirk tells me he knows exactly what I’m thinking about.
“Oh, nothing. Anyway, my idea. One of my goals was to take more risks and regain control of my life. I feel like I’ve started to do that. But I’ve been putting something off for a while. An experience I’m in desperate need of a redo.” Asher turns in his chair, giving me his undivided attention.
“I’m listening.”
“I want to go axe throwing. According to my parents, they told the place about the accident, and I have, like, a credit, I guess. All I have to do is tell them my name and I can come in whenever. I was supposed to do this with Max, but I want to experience this with you. So, would you go axe throwing with me?”
Asher rises from his chair and crouches down in front of me, the press of his hands on my thighs sending electrical currents throughout my body.
“I would be honored to go with you. Mind if I invite my brother and his wife? They’ve been dying to meet you.”
“Yes, of course. I’ll make a reservation for this Sunday?”
“That should work, let me text my brother to make sure he’s down.” Asher types away on his phone, and the reply is instantaneous.
“He says they’re in.” I lean down and press a chaste kiss to his lips before returning to my breakfast. I can’t wait to share a lifetime of breakfasts with this man.
Asher
A splash of orange juice with champagne
“I’llberightback.”
I leave a confused Bri to finish her breakfast so I can prepare the rest of her self-care day. I begin to draw her a bath, adding in rose scented bubbles. Over on the counter I had placed a bamboo bath tray and covered it with all of her favorites: two face masks, champagne glasses filled to the brim with mimosas, and our current read. I’d say it was a bit presumptuous of me to assume that she’d want me to join her, but I’m banking on knowing my bear. She’ll want to spend this time with me.
When I notice the water hit the halfway mark, I shut off the faucet and move to the bedroom where I’ve scattered a few fall-scented candles throughout the room. Soon it’ll smell like we stepped into a fall Hallmark movie, one of Bri’s guilty pleasures. I’ll admit, they aren’t all bad. I mean, sure, the plot is pretty much the same, but I think that’s the appeal.
I make my way over to the window to open it just enough to let the crisp autumn air permeate the room. Two silk robes—one in a soft lilac and the other in a charcoal grey—lay across the bed. Massage oils in every size bottle are littered across her cherry wood dresser along with a tube of blood red nail polish.
“What is all this?” The sound of Bri’s voice startles me.
“You weren’t supposed to see this yet. But since you’re here, it’s your own personal spa day. I have a bath drawn up for us with your version of what a mimosa is.”
