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Thomas:We got silver.

Thomas:I’m finally done with the event.

Thomas:Call me when you wake up.

Thomas:Everything ok, babe?

I decided to call him instead of replying to his texts. He was probably worried about not being able to get a hold of me.

“Hey,babe!Congrats on the silver! …I know.I’m sorry I slept in…My neighbors invited me to their Midsummer party on the rooftop. The whole building was invited…I’m sorry I…Hmm, at around eleven,I suppose…I did…Thomas,what’s wrong? …No,of course not,you know I love you, and I miss you…I’ll have someone pick you up at the airport…Okay,text me your flight details…See you tomorrow…Okay, love you too…Bye.”

I felt Thomas’s uneasiness about my attendance at the party without him, and I didn’t blame him. He was a bit insecure, which was fine as long as he kept his jealousy in that sort of cute mode. I had been excessively controlled, monitored, and observed all my life to have my boyfriend become my fourth bodyguard.

I grabbed the crushed flowers that laid under my pillow and threw them out. I hoped I’d sucked all the good luck out of them, but I doubt I did because I dreamt of William that night. Somehow, he kept haunting me in my sleep.

I jumped into the shower and hoped the cold water would cleanse my guilt and William’s stupid cologne out of my mind.

June 22, 2009

“I missed you!” I said, throwing myself into Thomas’s arms. He had just arrived from the airport looking exhausted but still so handsome as always. He gave me a quick peck on the lips and rolled his suitcase inside my apartment. “Are you moving in?” I joked.

“Don’t tempt me.” He grinned and dropped his things on the floor. “You always smell delicious. I missed that too,” he whispered in my ear and kissed me.

I really missed him. When I was with Thomas, I thought of nothing and no one. He had that power over me—to fully envelop me with his presence.

Thomas squatted and grabbed a change of clothes from his suitcase. “Let me take a quick shower, and I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

Mimi left containers with food for me in the fridge. I heated some spaghetti and meatballs in a pan and transferred it to a service bowl feeling like a certified chef.

“Wow! Something smells great,” Thomas said when he came out of my bedroom, running his fingers through his wet hair to dry it off. He wore nothing but gray sweatpants. No t-shirt. His body looked—amazing.

“Are you—hungry?” I asked while I set the table for two.

“You bet.” He snatched me away and carried me over his shoulder.

“Food’s gonna get cold!” I protested and laughed at the same time. He held me with one arm, which was enough to immobilize me as he walked down the hall to my bedroom.

He grabbed my waist and laid me on the bed with a thrust. “We can reheat that later.” He grinned. “I thought we could jump straight to dessert instead.”

He threw his warm, citrusy-smelling body that I’d missed so much against mine with a groan. There was no way I was going to object to that. I’ve always had a sweet tooth.

“That was heaven,” Thomas said as he helped me pick up the plates from the table. “I wish I had a Mimi.” He laughed.

“Well, you know you’re more than welcome to come to eat anytime.”

My new doorbell rang. I rushed to see who it was.

“Hi, Billie!” Lily greeted me with a hug. “I was wondering if you want to grab a coffee or something. I don’t have your number yet.”

Thomas approached the door and froze when he saw her.

“Thomas, this is Lily, my neighbor. Lily, this is my boyfriend, Thomas.”

“Hi Lily, so nice to meet you.” His voice came out all weird and pitchy. I mean, Lily was just drop-dead gorgeous.

“Nice to meet you too, Thomas. I didn’t realize you had company.”

“Well, I—”