Page 72 of Moonstruck at Midnight
“I think I’m about to go out of my mind any day now.” I rested my elbows on my knees and my hands on my forehead. I tried to find the courage to tell her what had happened, what I’d seen.
She remained silent, waiting for me to continue. I told her about how and why I went to his apartment andwhatI saw underneath his bed. I sipped nervously on my water and kept explaining how things were tricky since his father also used the apartment from time to time for work.
I told her how the condom packages could belong to his father and how I didn’t remember Thomas telling me that his father was coming to town.
“And you’re one hundred percent sure he didn’t use those with you?”
“It’s impossible. It’s the first time I’ve ever set foot in his apartment, Lily. It’s so messed up. I’ve been trying not to think about it. I want to trust him, but it’s been hard. I can’t stop thinking about this.
“I talk to him every day, but I haven’t had the guts to mention it, least of all over the phone. I want to look at him and his reaction when I ask him about it.”
“Okay, and how have things been with him? Is he acting weird or suspicious?” That was an excellent question.
“I feel like he’s been under a lot of stress lately. He’s been going through some family issues for a while now. And he’s been somewhat reactive, but other than that, nothing suspicious whatsoever.”
Lily pressed her lips together.
“I’ve gotta say you’ve got some real willpower. I would’ve taken a picture of the evidence and sent it to Joel in that second and probably set his apartment on fire afterward,” she said with a bleak laugh. “But I’m just extremely jealous. We’ve struggled with that. He doesn’t give me a reason to feel that way, but it’s just hard, you know—” she broke off mid-sentence.
“What do you mean?”
“Um—you know how girls can be,” she said, but I felt like there was something she wasn’t saying. “Anyway, we’re not talking about me. I think you’re doing the mature thing about not jumping to any conclusions. That’s usually the problem in most relationships. We don’t give our partners a chance to explain before assuming the worst,” she said, biting a pretzel. “I’m sure there must be an explanation, but I don’t think it’s fair that you’re putting yourself through this when all you really want is to talk to him about it.”
The problem was that I wasn’t ready to listen to what he had to say. It scared me. What if hewascheating?
“It’s just like Schrödinger’s cat.” I snorted. “I’m afraid to open the box and see if the cat’s dead or alive.”
“Whoa! I think Joel must have some pot if you want to take this to another level,” she said with a laugh.
I laughed too and said, “Ugh! I’m sorry, I don’t know how to stop thinking about this.” Another lie. William’s abs had proved to be a significant distracter. Jokes on me, I guess.
I thanked Lily for taking the time and listening to me. It felt so good to share my concerns with someone because keeping everything to myself was killing me.
“Of course, anytime. I know I didn’t do anything to help solve your problem, but I think it’s something for you to figure out. No one knows your relationship better than yourself. Just trust your gut.”
I thanked her again and moved on to the real reason for my visit.
“I wanted to ask you a favor. I know you’re always busy, but we need a model for our final project, and I was wondering if you’re available this Saturday to shoot. We still don’t know where exactly, but we know we want something outdoors with lots of natural light, maybe somewhere outside the city.”
“I’m actually free this weekend, so I’d love to help. We could even shoot in the cottage at Sagaponack if you want. It’s breathtaking over there. I don’t know what you’re thinking about exactly, but we have the ocean, lots of trees and greenery, a few ponds nearby. I think you could work with that.” She seemed excited.
“That sounds perfect, Lily. Thank you so much. Are you sure it’s okay for us to go? I don’t want to impose.” I understood from what Lily had told me before that the Sjöbergs owned a property there. I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t an issue for us to go.
Joel came into the apartment, dripping in sweat.
“Hey, beautiful.” He approached Lily and kissed her, but she complained about how sweaty he was. Joel laughed and excused himself to take a shower.
“Joel, wait!” Lily shouted before he disappeared off to their bedroom. “Can Billie and I go down to the cottage on Saturday? She’s going to take some photographs of me for a school project, and we could use the natural ambiance.”
“Lily, come on, you even have a key. You know you don’t need to ask. Besides, no one’s going to be there this weekend, so you’ll have the place all to yourselves.” Joel turned to look at me next. “Billie, you’re more than welcome to do whatever you need to do.”
“Thank you.” I smiled at Joel. His face reminding me of William’s wasn’t helpful. I needed to get the image of him out of my mind as soon as possible.
“Thanks, baby,” Lily said cutely. “Now go shower.”
Joel shook his head, smiling. “See you later, Billie.”
I thanked Lily with a big hug. “Of course, Billie, so happy to help.” We agreed to talk on Friday to set an hour to leave for our field trip on Saturday. “And don’t keep things to yourself like that. You’ll go insane if you do. You know I’m here if you ever need to talk again.”
