Page 101 of Heartstruck at Dawn
“I don’t know. Are you feeling okay? I’m afraid you’ll collapse,” I whispered back with a gentle chuckle.
“I’ll collapse if I don’t have youright now.”
I thought I could lead him to the living room instead of my bedroom, but then Mimi and Caleb had keys to my apartment. Mimi had left for the day, and Caleb would never barge in unannounced, but just knowing I wasn’t the only one with keys made me feel uneasy. And he would probably find it odd if I led him to the guest room.
I felt safe and comfortable in my bedroom. But William had to live right beside me, and now I felt like my sex life with Nathan was going to be ruined. Hopefully, William would leave for Ireland again soon. And I wouldn’t have to worry about such matters until March.
I needed to get out of my head.
The smell of freshly brewed coffee invaded the kitchen. Nathan pulled my sweater over my head and unhooked my bra. There was no turning back now. I would collapse right there with him if I made him stop.
“You were awfully quiet today,” Nathan said, kissing my cheek softly. “Is everything okay? That is so—unlike you.” He poked my chin with his finger, offering a subdued smile.
He noticed.
“Was I?”Shit.I thought I could bemore reservedin my reactions,which had required a lot of concentration. But it wasn’t going to be a sustainable practice. At least not an enjoyable one.
“Perhaps there’s something else I can do?” he said, his hand wandering up my thigh. “You know how I love listening to how you enjoy yourself with me.”
“I swear everything’s okay,” I said with a gasp. Nathan’s fingers were already doing their thing.
“Sure? You don’t seem sure to me,” he said with a lazy smile.
“I—I’m sure.” I closed my eyes and bit my lower lip.
“Why were you holding back on me?” he asked as he carried on. “I don’t want you to. I love it when you don’t.”
“I’m not,” I said in between heavy breaths. I opened my eyes and locked my gaze with his.
“Yes, you did. You are doing it right now. Are you still angry at me?” His eyes were trained on my face, analyzing every little reaction, word, breath, and noise coming out from me. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for you.”
“No, I’m not—it’s not—” I couldn’t hold back on him anymore. It became an impossible effort to overcome.
“No, you’re not angry? Or no, you’re not holding back?”
“Both!”
“Is it because of him?” Nathan asked. All I could think of saying wasno.I didn’t know who he meant byhim, and my mind couldn’t process his question for me to come up with an elaborate answer. Not while he was touching me like that. My mind was elsewhere. Nowhere.
“No!”I said a few times under my breath.
“I see the way he looks at you, and I don’t like it. Not one bit,” he said, kissing my neck. “You’re mine.”
“Yes!” I gasped.
“Mine.”
“Yours,” I said in Nathan’s ear, holding tight to his neck. I took a deep breath, and found it inevitable to censor the volume of my reactions when I found my release, feeling sparks moving up my spine, turning into crashing stars at my forehead that relaxed my body once again. Nathan’s proud expression on his face let me know he wasnowsatisfied with my feedback.
As we both laid in bed, waiting for me to catch my breath again, all I could hear was William playing the piano. I closed my eyes for a second, then asked Nathan in between soft pants, “Who’shim?”
“Caleb, of course.”
“Caleb?” I shook my head slowly. I was expecting a completely different answer from him.“But we’re just friends. He likes you. He never likes anyone.”
“It’s okay.” He swept a loose strand of hair away from my face. “But I see it in his eyes. You’re not just a friend to him. And I don’t mind, as long as he doesn’t try anything with you.”
I was about to sayhe would never try anything with me.But he had. However, it was before I even met Nathan. So maybe Icouldsay it, meaning from this point forth.
