Page 21 of Heartstruck at Dawn
I shut my laptop with a violent thrust, hoping it would shatter into pieces.
Careful what you do with your spare time. Talk about trying to be super productive gone wrong.
If only I’d taken a longer shower.
An unexpected whirlwind of irritation enveloped me in the worst mood ever as I got in the car to leave for dinner. I couldn’t get those images out of my head, but what bothered me the most was that seeing them had affected me.
It’s like when you’re feeling sick, or something hurts, and you google the symptoms only to find out you’re going to die a painful death.
Moral of the story: don’t google shit.
Caleb’s eyes seemed to notice the gloomy atmosphere surrounding me, but he withheld from commenting about it. Not only was he perceptive, but he was smart too.
We arrived at the restaurant, and I couldn’t hide my frustration. I’d been able to do it many times before, but not today. I was caught up in a vicious cycle. I was frustrated, and then I was frustrated about being frustrated because I didn’t want to be!
I shouldn’t have come to dinner.
“You okay?” Caleb asked gently in barely a whisper as I stepped out of the car.
“I’m fine,” I replied without looking at him.
He walked me to my table and greeted my friends.
“Hey, Caleb,” Nina said with a too-cute-for-my-current-mood kind-of-smile. He smiled back at her becausewhy the hell notand excused himself.
Breathe.
I fidgeted with my bottom lip and stared at an invisible point across the restaurant, waiting for someone to do the talking.
I couldn’t stop thinking about William looking so happy with Erin. Their body language in the photographs made them seem like the happiest couple in the world.
When he talked about her in the past, I got that he didn’t care to see her again. Shecheatedon him, for Christ’s sake! I really didn’t get it.
I supposed he was a great actor because he either lied to me about his true feelings for Erin in a very believable way or faked his interactions with her at the event.
But who cares, right? So he’s a liar. That’s Erin’s problem.
“Billie?” CJ snapped his fingers in front of my face, trying to catch my attention. I apologized and brought my attention back to the table.
“Your costume? For my party next week?”Oh,the party. CJ had previously told me how he celebrated his birthday every year with a Halloween-themed party and how his costumes were always over the top.
It would be my first time attending, and I was excited about it, but I couldn’t focus on that while my mind kept going round and round in circles about the premiere.
“I’m still thinking about it. How about you?”
“It’s a surprise,” he replied. “But it’s going to be grand.” I had to smile. CJ’s positive and enthusiastic energy was always infectious. Nina mentioned how she would go costume shopping on the weekend with Juan Pablo.
“And would David happen to have a shift on the 30th?” CJ asked. He had a silly crush on David, and every time he was on duty, CJ found a way to end up talking to him and entertain him for a while.
Aaron thought CJ was too distracting for David, or so Caleb told me once in confidence. “Don’t you like, text with him often?” I asked CJ.
“Why?” He peeked over my shoulder toward the window. “Did he mention something about it?”
“I—no. I don’t talk about that sort of thing with David. I don’t think he knows I know you guys talk,” I explained. “So, when’s the wedding?”
CJ grabbed the straw’s paper wrapping, made it into a tiny ball, and threw it at me. Nina and I laughed. “Have some mercy. Tell me if he’s gonna be there. I don’t want to ask him directly.”
“I’ll know by next Sunday when they send me the week’s schedule, but I’m sure I can work something out,” I replied with a wink. CJ bit his bottom lip with a smile. His chin resting on his fist. His head slightly tilted to the side.
