Page 24 of Heartstruck at Dawn
Can everyone please stop asking me if I’m okay?
“You don’t seem okay.”
“I’m just having a bad day. But I don’t feel like talking about it, okay?”
I’m allowed to, aren’t I?
“Okay.” He sighed.
Okay… “Good night.”
He turned around and shuffled away. I unlocked my door, and instead of biting my tongue and walking into my apartment, as I should have, I opened my big mouth and said, “If you’re going to flirt with my friends, at least have the decency to do it while I’m not there to see it. You know, like in the good old days in Paris.”
Caleb stopped and turned around slowly.
Shit.
“I wasn’t flirting, I—she kept making conversation, and I was just trying to be friendly,” he explained.
He didn’t owe me any explanation, and I shouldn’t have said anything, but I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand myself. Another floating me was watching me, judging me—fully aware of my irrationality.
“Thanks. You seemed friendly enough,” I returned, tying my hair into a pony.
Will somebodypleaseshut me up?
My phone buzzed once in my hand. I inevitably turned to see the notification—another message from Ren.
Caleb snorted and shook his head with a crooked smile. “Say hi to your blind date who’sjust a friendfor me, will you?” Caleb bolted toward the emergency exit and left through the stairs.
I wouldn’t have stayed any longer, either, if I were him.
WHAT A MESS!
I don’t think I’ve ever been in a fouler mood in my entire life. I tried focusing on my breathing as my therapist in Norway used to suggest all the time. I could hear her voice saying,breathe. It was usually soothing.
Not tonight.
Warm water running down my back had to do the trick. I took my time in the shower and immediately crawled into bed afterward, trying not to scare the serenity away. It was best to call it a night and let the day simmer down and fade to black.
Sleep wouldn’t take over me, so I grabbed a book. But the words made no sense to me. I tried staring at the roof, hoping to get bored and inevitably succumb to slumber, but my mind wouldn’t stop fidgeting. Speculating.
I forced my eyes shut, but it was useless.
After rotating these activities for a couple of hours, my restlessness dragged me out of bed. I changed into jeans and a loose t-shirt and filled my water bottle wishing I could turn it into wine and went up to the rooftop to clear my head.
A little fresh air was probably all I needed to chill out.
Notifying the guys about going up wasn’t something I was interested in doing. They insisted I should always inform them of my whereabouts when moving inside the building, and I usually did. But not tonight.
The door was heavy as I pulled it to step on the rooftop. I let it drop back with an intentional thump, expecting the tall silhouette leaning against the railing to turn around and reveal its identity.
But I didn’t need the person wearing a perfectly tailored blue suit to turn around to know that it washim.
Hell. No.
William saw me because I made him look my way when I almost sealed the door coming in.
“Guille!”
