Page 27 of Heartstruck at Dawn
“Well, I—I’ve been having a hard time with that,” he whispered. He took a deep breath. “I did get back with Erin. I don’t really know why. She kept—insisting. Apologizing. I thought I could give her a second chance.”
There you go.I knew I wasn’t crazy.
“How merciful of you.” He couldn’t reply to any of my texts where I said I was sorry and wanted to explain? But give the cheating ex-girlfriend a chance, while you’re at it.
He chuckled, seemingly amused by my annoyance and pulled me closer to him. His warm, sweet breath collided against the coldness of my cheeks while the brisk night breeze steadily swirled between us. I remembered that delicious cinnamon scent from the last time he kissed me.
He gently tugged my hair tie, and my hair fell over my shoulders, on my back, around my face. “I like your hair down.”You’ve told me. He teased my hair to blend out the crease from the tie. His fingertips on my scalp gave off tiny sparks of electricity.Please stop, continue. “Erin and I are done. For good. I couldn’t do it. I don’t trust her, I don’t—love her.”
“And I—don’t believe you,” I whispered back. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, grazing my jaw with his knuckles when he pulled his hand away from my face. “Prove it.”
“Challenge accepted.” He leaned in to kiss me, but I pulled back before his eager, mouth-watering lips could meet mine.
“Not like that.”
I knew he loved games, but I needed to make sure he was telling me the truth before I gave in. It was the hardest thing I had to do.
“So,hecan kiss you, but not me?” he asked with indignation, unwilling to pull away from me. “Is it Caleb, then?”
Seeing me kiss Caleb had affected him, and I was so glad it did.
“He didn’t leave at the first chance he got.” I took a step back. “And he listens to me when I have something to say.”
I still had some deep bottled feelings regarding our conversation following the fire incident. Or lack thereof. William shut me out, butnowhe wanted the opportunity he didn’t givemeto explain himself regarding Erin. And I had to agree to it and believe everything? That was unfair and totally not happening.
“You were kissing Thomas, and I thought that—”
“You didn’t let me explain! And now you want me to listen? You told me that I was just like every other girl that’s hurt you before. Do you still believe that? Because if you do, there’s really no point in even pretending to have a civilized conversation right now.”
William needed to know he wasn’t the only one who felt like shit that night. “You pushed me away,” I reminded him, “and I was trying to let youknow whatIwanted. And then you—disappeared. But it doesn’t matter anymore.”
My mercilessly ill mood was proving its resilience.
“Itdoesmatter to me. But I was furious—offended. I don’t really believe any of the things I said. I admit to having a fragile ego, okay?” He tried holding my hand again, but I wasn’t ready. “And what do you mean bywanted? Do you no longer want the same things you did?” He tucked another wind-dancing strand behind my ear.
“Honestly, I don’t know what I want anymore.” I took another step back just to be safe. “I thought I did.” What I wanted was to be sure it hadn’t all been just an infatuation on both sides, mostly his, or maybe a game he liked to play. If he wanted me, I needed him to make mefeelit. I was done with pretty words and empty promises. And looking at those premiere photographs didn’t help either.
He was used to things being easy, handed to him at a snap of his fingers. And it’s not that I wanted to make things unnecessarily hard for him, but maybe that way, he would know for sure if what he wanted was me or not.
“I’m going to be away for a few days. I’ll be promoting the film in Europe, and Erin’s going to be coming along. But you have to know that whatever you see is not real.”
I bit the corner of my lip, trying not to imagine them on a publicity tour together, pretending like they were still a couple.
That just made me want to puke.
My phone buzzed with an incoming call; it was my father. “I need to take this,” I told him, walking backward toward the exit.
“Is that one of your blind dates?” William yelled, leaning against the far end of the railing. “You’ve been keeping yourself busy!”
Tobias,you snitch!
“One of many!” I exclaimed, opening the rooftop door. If he had to pretend to date Erin, then I could pretend to have a bunch of blind dates waiting in line for me.
“I know what you want, Guille! And I’m going to refresh your memory!”
I closed the door shut and took my father’s call, hoping William was a man of his word.
October 21, 2009
