Page 31 of Heartstruck at Dawn
“Is that why you’re so anxious when you leave town for work?” He seemed uncomfortable with my questions. As he always did whenever I brought up the subject. He liked asking the questions but not answering any of mine. “I feel like I’m old enough to know. How could you still not know what happened that day?”
“Kiddo,” he said firmly but smiled afterward. “With patience and time, all shall be explained.”That freaking quote again.He stabbed a vegetable with his fork and took it to his mouth. “You have to try the tzatziki with the grilled eggplant.”
He quickly changed the subject and asked about school and my boring midterms.
The check arrived, but I wanted to make sure my father felt at ease about the wholeCaleb hug situationbefore we left. “Dad, I’m sure Caleb’s feeling worried about what your thoughts were regarding the hug. Could it be possible for you to talk to him about it? Maybe tell him I’ve already cleared the air?” I feared Caleb would behave differently around me if my father didn’t talk to him.
“Oh, of course. Don’t worry about that either. I’ll talk to Caleb.”
My father left with Mike in his car, and I rode back home with David and Caleb, who still maintained a solemn and expressionless face on the entire way back. I tried making small talk, but he kept his answers short and evasive.
I remembered I had a few texts from William I had to get to, so I focused on that instead. Analyzing Caleb’s attitude wasn’t a task I wanted to get sucked into.
Me:I’m sorry. I was having dinner with an older man.
A couple of minutes later, William replied. I wondered if he had his phone attached to him because he always responded fairly quickly. When I wasn’t being ghosted, of course.
W.S:How much older? Here I was, thinking I was too old for you.
Me:He turned 54 a few months ago.
W.S:You’re shitting me, right?
I laughed out loud, imagining William’s face. How I wished I could’ve seen it. Caleb snorted and readjusted himself on his seat, easing back into statue mode. David smiled, and I apologized for startling them.
Me:100% not shitting you.
W.S:Should I be worried?
Me:Of course not.
W.S:I hope you’re talking about your father.
And I hoped he wasn’t traveling with Erin and that they had broken up for good. But a girl can dream, right?
Me:Hope is what keeps us going.
W.S:What keeps me going is that you’ll stop going on blind dates. Or maybe we could pretend not to know each other if that’s the kind of thing that turns you on. I can work with that. I’m open to experimenting. I want to know what you like.
Turns you on…experimenting…knowwhat you like…stop it!
I always had to be quick on my feet and fake self-confidence when texting with William. It was exciting but easier now that he wasn’t sitting right beside me like when we rode back from the cottage last summer—although listening to his reactions from a front-row seat had been pretty fun too.
Me:Interesting. I could even pretend not to know what you do for a living and rekindle our bet.
He took a bit longer to reply, but he finally did.
W.S:I still can’t get over that.
You know that awful feeling you get when you send a text, and you regret sending it a millisecond after you do? I felt that. I shouldn’t have brought up the bet. That was one of the things that had angered him the most. It was a silly game, but it wasourthing. And it got ruined and then some.
Me:I wasn’t happy about that either.
True. I daydreamed more times than I should’ve about how our date would’ve been because let’s be honest … I was going to lose. I wondered where he planned to take me, the things we would talk about, the kisses I would’ve allowed him to give me … all gone. Nothing more than a daydream.
W.S:I’ll think of some other way to trick you into a date with me, don’t worry. Just don’t google me before I get back to New York, ok?
Me:I thought you wanted me to google you.
