Page 43 of Heartstruck at Dawn
“Nathan’s picking me up at eight.”
William’s jaw popped with a slow, controlled blink to go with it. I could tell he was having a hard time keeping it together.
“Joke’s not funny anymore, Guille.” But oh, was I enjoying watching him get all worked up about Nathan.“Iam taking you to this party tonight.” There he was, getting all territorial on me when there wasn’t any land for him to claim. He looked even hotter when he was angry. It was maddening to watch.
“I’m afraid you won’t clear the background check on time for tonight’s party.” I pretended to see the time on my watch. “Nathan’s process is almost done, so logistically speaking, you can’tcome.”
He smiled an angry smile to go with a short, sharp snort. “I’m sure your guys know what color my underwear is and what I had for breakfast this morning.”
Yeah, that was probably accurate. William had been cleared since April when we moved back to New York. Everyone in the building was, for all I knew. But he needed to understand things didn’t work that way with me. Not anymore. He shouldn’t get to do whatever he wants with me, with Erin, or any other girl for that matter.
“Nathan’s taking me to the party.Youhave a girlfriend. Please leave.”
And go directly to hell.Do not pass GO.Do not collect $200.
I turned around and walked toward my door.
“I’mdonewith Erin.” He snapped back with that husky and grave tone of his. He was about to lose it.Join the club. “She’s not even in New York. She stayed in Europe.”How convenient. I’d already lost it last night. It kind of felt like I would lose it for a second time any second now.
I turned around with a scowl and said, “It’s in the goddamn news, William! Stop lying!”
Yup. I lost it. I lost it because a huge, and very stupid part of me believed him when he said it was over with Erin. I wanted to trust him, and for a second there I did, but it was too late. I was terrified of getting hurt again. I liked William too much, and I knew the downfall would be anything less than tragic if I allowed myself to believe him. It was best not to proceed.
As much as I tried, I couldn’t find a logical explanation for the photographs that didn’t include William lying or hiding something from me. If it had been just a story saying they were still together, I might’ve felt differently. But how do you talk yourself out of an image? Or a bunch of them.
I didn’t want to be the naive girl who believes everything she’s told. And I knew William could easily convince me with words. If they werepretendingas William said, they didn’t have to go around town holding hands and feeding each other ice cream. Showing up together for the premieres and press events was probably enough. And if things were still tricky with her and he was still trying to figure out his feelings, then I didn’t want to be a part of it.
“Yougoogledme?” William asked with a grimace as ifthatwas the biggest sin a human could ever commit. Googling. “You weren’t supposed to. You said you wouldn’t.” He ran a hand through his buttery golden hair as he always did and grabbed his neck. His movements were filled with frustration and very distracting, too. He needed to stay put. Or leave.
Yes,leave.
“Ididn’t google you. There wasno need. The truth’s out in every magazine kiosk in the city. You should walk around the streets of New York more often since you already seem to enjoy going for afternoon strolls so much.”
“Tell me what you saw.”
“Do you ever google yourself?”
“Of course not. Never.”
“Out of sight, out of mind?” I snorted. Of course, he didn’t. I wanted to believe he wouldn’t have the nerve to be standing here, telling me these things, if he knew he’d been caught. Didn’t he have a publicity team? A guy like him definitely should. And if he did, then it was time to hire new blood. “Perhaps you should do it from time to time. It might be easier for your stories to match if you did.”
This conversation had gone for way longer than I intended it to last. He didn’t deserve a single answer or explanation from me—just silence like when he ignored me back in August. But it was impossible not to engage with him. With the situation.
“I don’t know what you saw, but tabloids lie all the time. That’s how they make money. It’s all lies. Ask me anything.”
“What is seen is not asked,” I said with a bite. That’s what William toldmewhen he saw me kissing Thomas. I tried explaining, but instead, he said that. He never gave me the chance to explain. To talk things over with him. So why should I? It stung and burned then, and now I hoped it stung him.
“Touché.” He snorted with a faint smile.
I crossed my arms loosely in front of my chest with ananything elseexpression on my face.
“You’re impossible.” He breathed with exasperation and walked away toward the elevator, saying, “And don’t you dare waste any of those firsts of yours with Nathan, of all people.” He stepped inside the elevator and shot a blood-boiling smirk at me. Finally, the doors snicked shut behind him. This was all a game to him.
Eight o’clock couldn’t come any sooner. I was going to need that tequila.
“I LOVE THIS ONE!”Sophie exclaimed, holding Cher’s famous yellow plaid outfit from Clueless. The costume looked great on her, and it was easy to match with her long blonde hair. “I want to look cute tonight.”
“Well, that looksverycute, Sophie. Go for it,” I encouraged her. I was still fuming on the inside but trying my best to hide it. I wanted to enjoy my friends’ company.
