Page 118 of Heartstruck at Dawn
My father was probably making up for all thelying to protect mehe’d done in the past. I wasn’t talking to him much, not after how he handled the Thomas situation. But he knew how much I cared about Tobias, so I guess that’s why he allowed me to come to the premiere.
Aaron and Caleb escorted me inside the theater, where I waited for everyone else to arrive. My phone buzzed non-stop as a bunch of incoming text messages flooded my screen all at once.
What.Is.Happening?
CJ, Nolan, and other friends from school were texting me images from the red carpet. They knew I was attending the event—the power of the internet. Heather even sent me a video of her TV, showing William’s interview with the reporter, where I’m seen walking away in the background.
Some of the photographs they sent me reminded me of the ones I saw of William and Erin. We were looking at each other while William smiled down at me. It looked like such a romantic photograph, when in fact I was complaining about the situation. It gets you thinking about how most of the things we see on the internet can be fake.
I kept shaking my head at my phone’s screen, unwilling to accept that those photographs were all over the web.
“What’s wrong?” Caleb asked, standing in front of me, looking at how my hands gripped my phone. I handed the phone to him and showed him the photographs.
“Nathan’s going to be pissed,” I said, brushing my forehead, feeling like I could break into a cold sweat in any second.
“Yeah, I saw that. But I guess you would’ve hated it even more if I removed you from the carpet,” he said and laughed a weak laugh. “I’m sure everything’s going to be okay, Red.” He handed back the phone with a slightly furrowed brow, looking away.
“Yeah, because you seem so convinced about it.”
Caleb smiled a weird kind of smile bordering on sad. “You still like him, don’t you?”
“What do you mean?” I asked with a pitchy tone. “I’m actually demanding him to let go of me in those shots.” I pointed at my phone’s screen with wide eyes. He turned to look at me but said nothing. “So, what? You’re saying I-I—what? Enjoy William’s little games?”
“No. I didn’t say that,” he replied softly. “I’m just saying it’s strange that you both look happy in the pictures. It seems—real. But that doesn’t mean shit, does it?”
“No. It doesn’t.” I lowered my voice and said, “William’s an actor. He knows exactly how to pose—how to make things look a certain way. I saw how he didjust thatwith Erin.”
“My point is … I don’t think he needs to act. And I can see how you light up when you look at him. And it”—he looked up, smiled, and bit his lower lip—“it’s frustrating. I don’t know why, but it hurts to watch. It always has.”
“What? Caleb? What do you—”
“I shouldn’t have said anything. Your friends are coming.” He turned around and joined Aaron, who stood a few feet behind me.
Caleb’s remarks threw me off guard. I didn’t even know what to make of everything he said. I thought we were in a good place. He seemed okay with Nathan, my actual boyfriend, but why did he trip like that over William?
I didn’t have the energy to get into that, so I shoved it right there next to the pile of other shit I didn’t have time to deal with at the moment.
Lily, Joel, and Tobias walked into the theater as more people made their way inside too. I tucked my phone back in my clutch and felt an arm sliding around my shoulders.
“Altoid?”
I looked up, and William shook the small aluminum box twice.
“No, thanks.”
He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “First red carpet. First premiere. And once we watch the movie side by side, I’ll tick that other first off my list too.”
When he said that, something ignited inside me. I realized I was a hobby, a sport he liked to play—a mission to accomplish. I didn’t understand the reason behind his obsession with my firsts anymore, and I was sure he didn’t either.
Maybe it was how he said it, or perhaps it was the bottled-up anger I tried to keep from erupting regarding how he manipulated me into having those photographs taken by the press. But I was most definitelyfed upwith it.
And now, how was I going to face Nathan?
“This is all a game to you, isn’t it?” I said, removing his hand off my shoulder, not caring about doing it gently. “I’vehad itwith that ‘firsts’ list of yours. And it’s not like you’re getting much done. At least not anything of great significance.”
He seemed like he was trying hard not to break into laughter but composed himself somehow and said, “You’re this—breathtakingmixture of sexy and cute when you’re angry. And the most adorable part of it all is that you’re not even aware of it.”
I shook my head, looking at the floor. He wasn’t even listening to what I had to say. He couldn’t take me seriously. Words never moved him.
