Page 123 of Heartstruck at Dawn
I sighed.
We could never coincide. And I’mnota cheater. I would’ve never done that to Nathan, but it was hard trying not towant to kiss him. The pull between us and the need to have him take that last step closer to me became overwhelming.
But my mind was still there—online and aware. And although it was physically impossible for me to cave in, the thought alone made me feel like shit.
William looked away and swore under his breath. He took in a sharp breath and said, “Stop lying to yourself.” He waited a few seconds for a reply that never found its way out through the maze of my throat.
He turned around brusquely and stormed toward his door when he realized I was completely out of words. At least of those he wanted to hear.
William grabbed the door handle and stared at his door, moving a hand behind his neck, careful not to turn to look at me anymore.
He was done. I could feel it.
“And just in case you were wondering,” he said, his gaze still fixed on his door, “yes, I can hear you.” He cleared his throat and opened the door. “I can hear you moaning for him every other day. As soft and distant as the sound may be. And the shower is never cold enough to calm me the fuck down—to not want to fight the wall.
“So, I either leave when I can or play the piano, just to stop—listening. And I only get true peace when I travel—when I’m away.” He looked up at the ceiling and laughed. “Paradoxical and ironic as fuck.”
Shhhhit …I knew it. I knew he could hear us.
William glared at my shocked face one last time and said, “At least today I’ll get some decent sleep in my own bed for a change.” He dashed inside his apartment and sealed the door behind him with the loudest blow.
My legs were now two wobbly sticks, unable to carry my weight. And my heart was a puddle on the floor. I reached within to hold on to whatever strength and dignity left inside me and forced myself to walk back to my apartment.
If I could listen to his piano, his guitar, his doors shutting close … it was only obvious. But I didn’t want to believe it.
How was I to face him ever again? And Nathan … Oh, God, Nathan. I needed to see him, to talk to him. He always could make things feel right. He knew how to make me feel at ease. So I planned to call him as soon as I walked inside my apartment, even though he was probably sleeping.
My shoes flew away as I pulled them off my feet. I grabbed my phone, threw my purse on the foyer table, and walked into my bedroom.
I screamed at the top of my lungs when I sawhimsitting on my couch, wishing I could unplug the console and throw the controller out the window.
Game over. The ultimate boss fight was about to begin.
“HEY, BABE,”Thomas said, looking over his shoulder. “I was getting turned on by all that heavy breathing out there.”
“Oh, my God, Thomas. You scared me to death.”
“Phone, please.” He held out his hand and swiveled his fingers, looking at my phone in my hand.
I handed it in and said, “What are you doing here? How did—”
Two knocks on my wall cut me off.
Did William hear me scream?I hoped so because Thomas’s purplish circles under his eyes made them look so cold and hollow. And they were freaking the hell out of me.
“Aren’t you guys cute?” Thomas said, looking at the wall, sarcasm gushing out of every word. “Knock back.”
“What?”
“You screamed. He heard you. Knock back, so he knows you’re okay.” He offered me the creepiest smile ever and leaned in to rest his elbows on his knees.
I took a few careful steps toward the wall and knocked twice. The panic button was only a few feet away from where I stood, but Thomas was an arm’s reach away.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” I reminded him, taking a step sideways toward my nightstand. There was a document-sized envelope sitting beside him on the couch. It was the first time I felt frightened by his presence. Thomas looked tired—unhappy. “You can go to jail for this.” He was in direct violation of the order of protection. But he already knew that.
“They’ve all been feeding you lies. All I’ve ever wanted was to talk to you. I know I’m risking everything being here, but I can’t have you thinking I’m a monster. If you knew the truth, I know you would forgive me for everything. Iknowyou’d understand.”
Thomas placed my phone and a set of keys on top of the envelope. I recognized the keychain—a Scottish flag.
