Page 92 of Heartstruck at Dawn
“What?” I said in a high-pitched tone. “I told you I wasn’t comfortable doing that. Why wouldn’t you talk to me about it first?” I stood up from my seat.
“I’ll have to call Joel. I don’t think I can go to Miami tomorrow.” He was rambling to himself instead of answering my questions.
“Nathan.”
He stood up and sighed. “Thomas just showed up at my office. He’s got his knickers in a twist about the order of protection we filed against him on your behalf. The firm’s security team took care of it, but things are getting out of hand with this lad.”
“Took care of it—how?”
“They made sure he left. No one was harmed.”
“I’m lost here, Nathan. I haven’t seen or talked to Thomas since CJ’s party, so why file an order of protection against him onmybehalf?”
“Well, I have. I’ve been dealing with Thomas ever since that night. We didn’t want to tell you anything so you wouldn’t worry. But we thought it was best to file the order of protection to see if we could get him to back off, but now that he’s showed up at work … I can’t allow that. So that’s why I just signed off on one against him for myself.”
“Wethought? Who’swe?”
“Your father and me.” Nathan kept anxiously running his fingers through his hair.
“I see now why you two get along so well. All this time …” I bit my lip and looked away.This isn’t happening.I took a deep breath and faced him. “All yourliquid lunchesand pints after work. You’ve been plotting this behind my back, haven’t you? Deciding what’sbest for me.” I stormed off into my bedroom.
I was furious at Nathan, at my father, at Caleb because he surely had been in on it too. That’s why he’d been acting smooth as silk around Nathan. He approved of Nathan’s decisions regarding Thomas, and I knew how much Caleb hated Thomas. I felt betrayed byeveryone. They were supposed to be my circle of trust.
And once again, I was the naive little girl that needed to be kept in the dark so she could live her life thinking everything was unicorns and rainbows. Why would they want that kind of life for me? I was so incredibly disappointed.
“Murph, let’s talk. Don’t walk away,” he said, following me.
“Can’t you see this is exactly the kind of thing that bothers me the most? You lied to me! Those contracts Caleb brought up the day you left for England … I was signing the order of protection, wasn’t I?” Caleb was definitely in on it. He’d brought up the paperwork knowing what it was.
“Yes, but you need to understand we couldn’t risk having you say no again. Ithadto be done. And we didn’t want you to worry about it, either.” Nathan ran a rough hand down his face and tried coming near me, but I took a couple of steps back. “We were just trying to protect you.”
“Don’t!” Tears rolled down my face, and I could see Nathan wasn’t enjoying seeing me cry. But I needed physical space. “I expected this from my father, but not from you. You’reexactlylike him. Maybe that’s why I feel so—so drawn to you. You remind me of him. You think alike. But you can’t do this to me, Nathan. Hide things from me to ‘protect me.’
“It’s been almost seven years since my mother died, and no one tells me shit aboutwhyshe was murdered. Do you think I don’t knowtheyknow? She was an ambassador’s wife, for fuck’s sake! They must’ve figured everything out within the hour.
“And I have learned to live with that. With the secrets my father keeps formy own good. But not you too. I won’t have it.”
Nathan frowned and took a sharp breath through his nose. “Please forgive me, Murph. I know I should’ve told you. But this is how your father wanted things to be handled. And you’re right. We should’ve told you everything. It’s your right to know.” I closed my eyes and looked away. The situation was so frustrating.
“I can’t leave you after seeing how out of control Thomas is. I want to be here to protect you.”
“I have three guys for that. Twenty-four-seven. And I never thought I would have to say this to you too, but I don’t need a fourth bodyguard. I need you to be my boyfriend. I need you to take my side. Always. Not my father’s side. I know how convincing he is. He’s a diplomat!” I laughed a sad, sad laugh.
“That’s what he does for a living. And I know he loves me, and everything he does is out of fear of losing me too, but I’mchokinghere knowing you’re going down that same path. And worst of all, behind my back.
“When we moved back to New York, I thought things were going to be different. That security would decrease with time. But that hasn’t been the case. It keeps getting tighter, and I hate knowing you’re somehow—encouraging my father.”
Nathan took another step forward, but I took two steps back.
“Please forgive me, love. I’ll stay, and I’ll tell you everything that’s been happening, and I won’t leave anything out.”
“That would’ve been greatbeforeyou decided to lie to me and make me sign the order of protection without my consent. If you thought it wasthatimportant, I would’ve listened to you and agreed to sign it myself. We could’ve decided on it together.”
I climbed up on my bed and sat crossed legged, hugging one of my pillows. Tears kept streaming down my face. I was deeply hurt. I trusted Nathan blindly, and I never in a million years thought he would do this to me.
“You should go to Miami. I can take care of myself.”
“Well, too bad because I’m not going.”
