Page 108 of Awestruck at Dusk
“Well, you thought wrong,” Zara snapped back at me. “And I justhateseeing you toy around with my brothers.”
Brothers?
“Zara,” William said to her. “You don’t have to—”
“I’m a Sjöberg too,” she revealed, taking a few steps my way.She’s a what? I was so confused. “I’m Nathan and Will’s half-sister.”
William rubbed his face and ran both of his hands through his hair.
“Sivert,my father, got my mum pregnant with me when my family first arrived in Sweden. It was a short affair, but it caused many quarrels between my parents. I’m sure Nathan must’ve told you about how my parents constantly argued when we were growing up. So now you know it was all because of me.”
It broke my heart to see the pain in Zara’s eyes. Her Sjöberg signature-blue eyes. It was all too evident now—the certain resemblance.
“My parents told me everything when I was thirteen, and William found out a few months after that and reached out to me to let me know he knew. But I asked him and my parents not to tell anyone else. Not until I was ready to reveal it to the rest of the family.
“I was afraid everyone would look at me differently—of not being accepted. I still am,” she said with a sad smile. “So I’ve been relying emotionally on Will all these years. He’s been my support system. And we were finally going to let everyone know today. My sisters found out last week. I talked to them before moving to New York.”
I fucked up bad. My jealousy blinded me and made me think the worst of William—of Zara too. I’ve been judging her without knowinganything. But I understood everything now. And now I couldn’t stop thinking about Nathan and what he would make of all of this when he found out.
“Nathalie found out last year, and that’s when they decided to get divorced—because of me,” Zara continued.
“That’snoton you,” William said to her. “We’ve talked about this. They’ve had issues for years.”
“I know,” she said, her voice breaking. She took her hands to her eyes and started crying. William immediately placed his arms around her and kissed the top of her head in the sweetest and most protective way ever. “I just can’t help but feel like an inconvenience. Like I ruined everything for everyone.”
“Stop. Everything’s gonna be okay,” William said to her softly. He wouldn’t look at me. He seemed so angry and disappointed in me—with fair reason.
“You lied to me,” she said to William. “You told me in April that you were done with her. I told you I didn’t want Nathan to get hurt.”
A door shut in the distance. “What the bloody hell is going on in here?” Nathan asked, approaching us. He seemed like he was trying to take in the scene before him—to understand it.
“Don’t worry,” William said to Zara, releasing her from his embrace. “I’mdonenow.” He blasted off toward the front door and picked up a set of keys before stepping out.
“William!” I ran after him without a second thought. He got into his car, but I reached him before he could shut the door. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. How could I—”
William gripped the steering wheel and let out an exasperated grunt.
“We’re never going to work because you’renevergoing to trust me,” he said looking at his hands. I’ve never seen him like this. Not even when he saw me kissing Thomas. It was different this time. His words were heavy with feeling, and his face was the grueling image of anger and disappointment—the balance swaying more toward the latter.
He turned to look at me over his shoulder and said with a slow shaking movement of his head, “The things I’ve done for you … For almostayearnow.” He looked away and I lost his gaze as he ran a furious hand through his perfect golden hair. “I’m done proving shit to you. Nothing’s ever going to be enough.”
I couldn’t let William slip away from me. Not now that we’ve come this far. I gathered my courage because all I could think of was him and how I hated the discouraged look on his face. But he was right. I kept sabotaging myself with my insecurities because, deep down, I didn’t think I deserved him—or think I was good enough for him.
Say it!Don’t let him get away!
“What if I told you that I love you back?” I blurted out, my eyes wide and my soul hopeful.
William glanced at me from the corner of his brilliant blue eyes with suspicion, his hands back to being firmly placed on the steering wheel. The right corner of his mouth twitched up for a second into a smile. I swear it was a smile. But he bit his lip and said with a frown, “But what is love without trust?”
He rendered me speechless, and the Porsche’s engine thundered as he turned on the ignition.
“Goodbye, Guillermina.” He pulled the door shut, backed up on the driveway, and sped away with a roar of his engine and a screech of his tires.
Half Of What You’ve Got
WILLIAM WAS GONE… again. But somehow, this time, it felt real. He wasn’t playing around. Deep inside me, I knew he meant those last two words he said to me because the crater that appeared on my chest and the emptiness that swallowed me whole rendered me useless—desolate.
I had to somehow drag myself back inside that house and talk to Nathan, knowing perfectly well that there was no way to deny my feelings for William to him. And I knew what that meant. I had to brace myself for the big leap into the final abyss. To put that light out.
