Page 134 of Awestruck at Dusk
William’s chest heaved, but he said nothing. I couldn’t read him!
“You were right. Iama coward, and it’s cost me a lot not wanting to accept it—to be honest with myself. And I know you’ve probably moved on from the feelings you expressed to me on Midsummer, but I wanted to come here, alone, without any expectations, and just let you know how stupid and immature I was and how much I still care about you. How much I love you.”
The greedy lump in my throat had me cornered against its sharp, pointy knife. I took a few deep breaths to compose myself and an actual step back from William, giving him space.
Telling William that I loved him over and over again without getting any feedback was the hardest and most painful thing I’ve ever had to do. But it was also liberating. I could finally tell him how I felt this entire time. And not having had the guts to do it before was destroying me. It was a feeling that I could no longer keep to myself.
I couldn’t stop myself from letting it all out. He needed to know.
“I checked the weather every day when you were gone just to see what kind of day you were having,” I confessed, brushing away a tear that had escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek. “And I daydreamed about how it would’ve been if I had said yes—if I had accepted coming here with you in the summer.”
William ran a hand over his forehead. His body language wasn’t encouraging at all, but I wasn’t backing down.
“I can’t stop wishing how you won’t give me that spare set of keys to my apartment back either. And how whenever I have a nightmare, all I hope is for you to be the one to comfort me back to sleep.”
William licked his lips and looked down at his feet.
Please say something.
He sighed again, and I couldn’t tell if it was a sigh of relief or a think-about-how-you’re-going-to-blow-her-off kind of sigh. So I pulled out the ace from under my sleeve.
“You’re a dentist,” I told him.
William looked down at me with a puzzled face. “I’m—sorry. I don’t understand.”
“You’re adentist,” I said matter-of-factly. “That’s my third guess from our bet. I never took it.” I took a step forward. “I lost.” And another. “You won. Now take me on a date, or are you not a man of your word?”
William shook his head and snorted with a weak smile. I’d finally knocked down those thick, heavy walls of his.
“You will take me on a date,” I said, Jedi-hand waving him with a smile. He stared at me without saying a word, so I held my hand in front of me and looked at it with a frown. “It’s not working.”
“Works every time.” He pulled me in against him running his fingers through my hair. And before I had time to register what was happening, his lips met mine. I was going to pass out any second now just from the closeness between us, let alone the feeling of his soft lips against mine. It’d been a long time waiting for this moment.
All I ever wanted for so long was for him to kiss me like this, and I’ve been too blind and stubborn to accept that it washimI wanted all along.
“I can’t stop thinking about you either,” he said, taking a short break from kissing me. “I never had. Never will. I just—refuse.” His mouth lingered a breath away from mine, and his comforting arms remained tightly locked around me as I rubbed my nose against his. “I love you, Guillermina.”
I cupped his cheek, and my thumb wandered to his lower lip, brushing it. “I see you.” I kissed the corner of his mouth a few times. “I always have.”
He pulled my jacket off, grabbed my legs, and picked me up from the floor. I locked them around his waist and kissed him. This time he let himself go completely, letting me know he did want me as bad as I wanted him. In every possible way.
He walked toward the bed and dropped me gently on it, leaving a trail of kisses down my neck.
“I was going nuts just thinking about you ever getting back together with Nathan,” he whispered in my ear. “And when I drove away from the cottage that day, all I could see was that look on your face—” he trailed off and laid on his side beside me, sweeping a few strands of hair off my face. “Itdestroyedme.”
“I almost made a fool of myself and ran behind you,” I said with an almost sad laugh. “I swear it physically hurts when you’re away.” I pulled myself closer to him. “Just being here with you—like this … it’s perfect. I feel like I have everything I need.”
“I feel the exact same way,” he told me, kissing my cheeks and taking his time doing so.
“When Thomas shot you—” My face scrunched up, and I closed my eyes, trying to shove the memory away. “That’s when I realized I couldn’t keep pretending. I just couldn’t imagine my life without you.” I ran my fingers through his silky, beautiful golden hair and kissed him. “I love you, William Sjöberg, and I know the whole world loves you too, but I love you the most.” We both chuckled, our breaths colliding. “And I know it might feel rushed for me to feel this way, but—”
“Rushed? Really?” He laughed, pulling me closer against him. I rested my face on his chest, and he ran his fingers through my hair. “It’s been almost a year and a half since we met, and when we first kissed at the cottage, I swear I knew all I wanted was you.” He kissed my hair and cupped my chin to meet my gaze. “I love you too, Guillermina. And yes …You still are, were, and will beitfor me. Always.”
I brought my lips to his and kissed him with everything I had, withallof me, and I never knew it could feel like this, so perfect—complete. All my heart was his. Every single part of it.
“William?” I asked, looking into those beautiful blue eyes I loved so much, unable to believe that I could freely stare into them now. “Will you be my boyfriend?”
William laughed hard, his belly rising and falling with each gasp. “You’reunbelievable.” He poked my nose with his finger. “No one’s ever asked me that before.”
