Page 136 of Awestruck at Dusk
“Why am I not surprised that Alice was involved in this?” William leaned against the bathroom’s door frame, crossing his arms at his chest and his foot in front of the other. “I can’t believe you’re actually here.” He smiled at me but frowned quickly after that. “But why is your suitcase so small? When are you planning to leave?”
“Well, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stay for long,” I said, standing up, grabbing a few things I needed from my suitcase to shower and get ready. I placed my toiletries and a perfume beside one of the sinks on the beautiful double-vanity covered in Carrara marble. “I’m sure someone’s already on their way to get me.”
I lowered my brows as reality kicked in.
Being here with William was a temporary oasis, one from which I’d be plucked out of the minute someone came for me. And my gut told me that someone was going to be Aaron. I knew it was going to be very uncomfortable between us. I put my security detail in a difficult position by escaping. But I had a pending and undoubtedly tough conversation with my father.
“You’re practically moving in already,” he said, looking at my stuff on the bathroom counter. “I like your things here.”
I spotted William’s cologne on the counter. “Ilovethis,” I said, removing the lid and taking a deep breath in through my nose to smell it.
William laughed. He took the bottle away from my hands and sprayed himself with it.
“You have no idea how obsessed I am with it,” I told him, standing on my tiptoes to smell his neck.
“I do have an idea. That’s why I dipped my hoodie in it.” He laughed again.
“How could you know I love it so much?” It was so annoying to know he’d been able to see right through me this entire time. Even when I thought I was doing a great job at hiding my affections.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “You seemed more annoyed with me when I was wearing it, so … yeah. It kinda reminded me of the day we met. It pissed me off that you were wearing your gym clothes and still smelled like heaven when you shouldn’t have. And I didn’t want to like you, but you were making itveryhard for me when I saw you walking away with those tight yoga pants that almost made me want to die.”
I smiled and looked away, remembering how William couldn’t stop frowning that day. It was funny to find out part of the reason behind his cocky attitude. I kissed his delicious neck and walked over to where I’d left my bag on the counter. My cellphone was drained. Even if I didn’t intend to use it, it was best to have it fully charged, just in case.
As I pulled my phone out of my bag, I spotted Caleb’s letter.
“There’s a lot we need to talk about,” I said with a sigh, reminding myself of the things I learned from reading it. I wanted to tell William what I found out about my mom so he could give me his advice on how to handle things with my father.
“Well, hurry up then. And do yourself a favor and lock this door. I won’t be able to stand the thought of you being naked a few inches away with water running all over your body.”
I bit my lower lip, just wondering … things.
“So, just like back at home?” I laughed, trying to distract myself from my thoughts involving the shower and William there with me. “Always a few inches away from each other.”
“I’m tearing that fucking wall down when I get back. I’m not kidding.”
“Please do.” I placed my hands on William’s chest and pushed him away. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
I’d already shut the door, but I opened it again, just a tad, and said, “I’m leaving it unlocked just in case you want to test your resolve.”
“I don’t have any. That’s why you need to lock it.” He winked at me. “Unless you want to skip the date and go straight to—”
I shut the bathroom door in his face and locked it. I heard him laugh as he walked away. I’ve been waiting a long while for this date to finally happen. It was important for me—symbolic. I could go back to daydreaming about him as I showered. It’s not like I wasn’t a pro at it.
A Year To Think
MY SHOWER TOOKlonger than it should’ve, but the water pressure was on point. It was so relaxing. And the last twenty-four hours had been insane. It’d been too much to process that I guess I hadn’t even started doing so, but I knew I felt lighter. Finding out about the details of my mother’s death opened up a whirlwind of feelings and insights.
My fear now was that I wouldn’t be fighting against a real threat but against my father’s notions. And I knew how resolute and narrow-minded he could be when it came to what he thought was best for me.
Not only would he probably faint when he learned about how I came to Africa on my own, but he was probably not going to appreciate the fact that William and I were a thing now. I just had a feeling he wasn’t going to be pleased.
The difference was that this time I had enough information to object and defend my case. I knew my father was scared shit-less after my mother died, and his mind flipped—turned against him and constantly fed him with doubts about how I wasn’t safe, how I needed to be followed 24/7 to avoidanythingtragicfrom happening to me.
He had to put the past behind him. I know that’s all I’ve been trying to do for years now. Still, some days are easier than others, but at least I’m constantly trying to acknowledge my feelings and avoid allowing them to eat me alive.
It wasn’t going to be easy.
I had a few hours before I had to deal with any of that, starting with the imminent wrath that was surely brewing deep down in James Murphy’s gut. But even if the retaliation would be severe, I’d do it a thousand times again because, ironically, I’d never felt happier and more filled with hope in my entire life.
