Page 29 of Awestruck at Dusk
“Billie, not again with this. You’re turningtwenty-one,” she grumbled. “We could go to a bar or a club. I’m sure Joel can help us find a place with one of those private areas where we can celebrate.”
I stared at her, thinking how to get out of it. She was the sweetest. I knew she cared about me and wanted to celebrate my birthday, but I wasn’t in the mood at all.
“Come on! I’ll take care of everything. You just need to choose a dress,” she insisted.
“I’m sorry, Lily,” I said with a frown. “Why don’t you and Joel come over tonight? We’ll open a bottle of wine, and we’ll plan something casual for tomorrow, maybe dinner somewhere. Just the four of us.”
“Sounds good. Whatever you want, okay?” She smiled a heartwarming smile that let me know that all she wanted to do was make me feel better. And I was thankful for it. For her. But I just couldn’t pretend that I was in the right headspace to go out and party. “You miss him, don’t you?”
Always.
I sighed. “Yeah, all the time.”
“Is that why you don’t want to celebrate?” she asked. Lily always knew how to pull the truth out of me. But I looked away, refusing to answer her question, afraid I would start crying. “You know Caleb would want you to be happy, right? You don’t have to punish yourself like that. None of it was your fault.”
Then why does it feel like it is?
“I know, Lily. But it’s not even been a month since Caleb died. And I’ll be out partying? It doesn’t feel right.”
“Look, I totally get it. And I respect your decision. But it’s not fair for you to beat yourself up like that. We all love you and want to celebrate your birthday because we could’ve lost you too that day. And thank goodness we didn’t.”
“It does make me happy to know you want to make me feel special on my birthday. But it’s too soon.”
“Okay,” she said with a smile. “Why don’t we—try these on?” She grabbed one of the dresses and placed it against her body, moving her eyebrows up and down.
“Sure,” I replied. It sounded like fun.
The doorbell rang when Lily and I started pushing the rack to my bedroom. It was a bit past noon already. “Coming!”
I opened the door, and it wasnotNathan.
Zara
“SURPRISE!” ZARA SQUEALEDwith excitement and threw her arms around mine. “I’m so happy to finally meet you, Billie.” She pulled away, grabbing my shoulders. “I’mobsessedwith your hair.” She reached out and touched one of my short, auburn strands. Aaron was standing behind her with her luggage.
Zara lookeddrop-dead gorgeous. She was even taller than Lily, and her long brown waves danced around her beautiful face. And her broad, luminous smile was almost blinding. Just by looking at her, you could tell she was different—special.
Smile back.
“Zara?” Lily rushed over to greet her with a big smile on her face. I thanked Aaron and rolled Zara’s suitcase inside my apartment as they hugged each other.
“Nathan told me I should knock at your door since Will’s at somebloodymeeting. It’s rather convenient that you guys live next to each other,” she said with a chuckle. “But I’ll get out of your way as soon as he arrives, no worries. I hope you don’t mind me waiting here, Billie.”
Will. Zara had to have her own little nickname for him. And she didn’t know she was staying with me. Yet. I guess Nathanforgotto mention that part.
And speaking of Nathan …
“Zara!” he yelled as he stepped out of the elevator. His face lit up as he marched our way. Zara closed the distance between them, and they met halfway with a warm hug.
“Aw, Nate, I’ve missed you!” Zara seemed like the untroubled, happy-go-lucky kind of girl. Her personality shone from a mile away.
“I see you met Billie,” he said, looking at me, beaming. He seemed thrilled to see her.
“I certainly did,” she replied with a grin, nudging Nathan’s arm with her elbow. “I already told her I’d leave once Will arrives.”
“About that,” Nathan said, closing the door behind him. “I thought it might be best for you to stay here with Billie. She’s got a spare room, and that way, you could get to know each other better.”
I glanced at Lily, and her eyes went wide for a second. I wished I could communicate with her telepathically. Well, we sort of did. I knew what she was thinking, but I didn’t know if she knew whatIwas thinking. She probably did.
